I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

Granted, but your system breaks when you try to play it.

I wish they would remake the NES version of Pool of Radiance for the 3DS or Wii U and make it better (by fixing all the bugs and using a less monochromatic color scheme, for starters).

Granted, but they missed the most game-breaking bug and for some reason never patch it out.

I wish for a panic button that will transport me to a pocket dimension with all the food, water, and video games I would need to survive in case of a life threatening emergency.

Granted, but you forgot about air so you suffocate while there and nobody ever finds your body.

I wish for perfect eyesight for the rest of my natural lifespan (no dying tomorrow or in the foreseeable future).

Granted, but for the rest of your natural existence you no longer have any of your other senses...

I wish to be in perfect health til I'm 100 years old...

Granted, you are cryogenically frozen until you reach the age of 100. But on the day you are revived, you walk out into the new future world and are hit by a flying car.

I wish all the things they showed for 2015 in Back To The Future II actually existed. Or at least the Hoverboards.

Granted, it all exists, but you'll never get to use any of it because you can't afford to have it... BOO HOO!!

I wish [MENTION=60919]TheDarkOne[/MENTION] wasn't such a meanie!!

Granted, I become super nice, and you like me so much that you buy me all the 2015 stuff that I couldn't afford before.

I wish the cats would always behave.

Granted, they do behave... VERY BADLY... Kiss your carpets goodbye! Muah, ha ha ha ha!!

I wish I could flap my arms and fly...

Granted, but when you are flapping your arms while on a plane, they think you are crazy and lock you in a padded cell.

I wish the cats would be WELL-behaved all the time.

Granted, but your looney roommate (Who you got locked up in her last wish...) claws up the carpet...

I wish I hadn't gotten locked in a padded cell...

Granted, it's just a regular cell, not a padded one.

I wish I knew how you clawed up the carpet from inside your cell.

I wish that by bumping this thread it will encourage people to post in it again.

Granted! However you now have an ingrown toenail (randomly decided)!

I wish for some ice cream.

Granted, but it's your least favorite flavor and it's half-melted and past its expiration date.

I wish for a more reliable WiFi connection.

Granted! But it only works when in the nude.

I wish people would stop driving by my house with their music turned all the up and shaking my house.

Granted, instead they drive THROUGH your house and cost you a fortune in wall/window repairs.

I wish there was a place around here that served decent mushroom poppers (a local restaurant here does serve them but they are terrible).

Granted, but they use Super Mushrooms from Super Mario Bros instead of regular mushrooms, causing giant growth when consumed.

I wish for a balloon.

Granted, but it's a mutant alien balloon that hungers for human flesh.

I wish I knew how my internet connection could be nude. I was not aware that internet connections wore clothing.

granted by your mind blows up.

I wish ilias was my girlfriend.

Granted, but then you discover she's cheating on you with the the actual Tamamo and in your anger you erase her from existence. Then you try to hook up with the real Tamamo, but she tells you to get lost.

I wish for some chili cheese fries.

Granted, but the chili is made from mystery meat. 😉

I wish for a spoon.

Granted, but it's jabbed into your eye.

I wish I could go to Red Lobster for dinner at least once a month.

Granted, but you always have the runs after eating there.

I wish for a potato (what could go wrong?)

Okay, but you get shot!
[video=youtube;PPV6MUDH_Eg]https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPV6MUDH_Eg[/video]

I wish for 10 tails.

Granted, but they are tied together in a noose that is used to hang you.

I wish that this current wish which I am wishing now does not, never had, and never will have a downword side effect of ANY sort.

Granted, but now you killed the thread.

Just kidding, you taste the color blue now.

I wish that I had a plush toy of Isabelle from Animal Crossing New Leaf.

Granted, but in the process you lose every other possession you own.

I wish for the weather here to be about 73 degrees Fahrenheit year-round.

Granted, but the only article of clothing to exist for the rest of eternity are Eskimo parkas.

I wish my smart phone was good enough to play the upcoming Fire Emblem Heroes game.

Granted, but the only version of it compatible with your phone is in Swahili.

i wish for a nice, heavy blanket.

Granted, but its made from pure asbestos.

I wish for turkey on rye.