I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

Granted, instead it's all-natural dog turd flavor. Enjoy.

I wish for a brand-new, state-of-the-art, fully working laptop of my own.

Granted, but you don't get a charger and your battery is at 5% when you get it.

I still wish I could get an Action Replay DSi

Granted, but the only codes it has can have added to it are for Barbie and Bratz games.

I wish for a pudding cup.

Granted, but it tastes like the taffy Pink Fairy gave you.

I wish to have freedom from all responsibilities.

Granted, you're placed in cryostasis.

I wish it was wasn't so bloody cold.

Granted, you get teleported into the center of the sun (hot enough for ya?)

I wish for a different pudding cup (poison flavor tastes bland and has no harmful effect on me as mentined before)

PinkFairy wrote:Granted, instead it's all-natural dog turd flavor. Enjoy.

I wish you'd remember what flavor your pudding cup was.

Granted, but I forget literally the second after doing so.

I wish for a better memory.

Granted, your computer now has a better memory, but yours still hasn't improved.

I wish I could stop playing that silly mobile game I started but I can't help it, it's so addictive!

Granted, your mobile device implodes.

I wish for warmer temperatures.

Granted, it's now 1 degree warmer.

I wish I could get some new sneakers, the soles are coming off the ones I have.

Granted, but they are soul-less abominations that seek to eat the toes of those who wear them.

I wish for a taco.

Granted, but it's the band Taco and they endlessly sing "Puttin' On The Ritz."

I wish for Mountain Dew to bring back their White Out flavor.

Granted, but it's flavored with actual white-out (correction fluid)

I wish Pepsi would make up their minds whether or not they are bringing back their Crystal Pepsi.

Granted, they decide they aren't, and in protest you boycott all Pepsi products. No more Mist Twist for you!

I wish I could tell the secret I just heard but I gave my word I wouldn't tell.

Granted, but then it turns out that everyone else already knew.

I wish I could keep secrets.

Granted, you can only communicate in quote from the Star Wars movies. That included, wirting, typing, and even sign language.

I wish the forum games were getting more activity.

Granted, but you can only make bad puns now.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

Granted, but instead of sleeping you have to shovel manure all night, eight hours straight, with no breaks and you don't get paid for it.

I wish for my shoulder to heal faster.

Granted, your shoulder heals, but then the opposite shoulder suffers the same injury.

I wish for a miracle drug that will cure any disease and heal any injury.

Granted, but as a side effect you need to use the bathroom every 30 minutes.

I wish for a notebook.

Granted, but it's used and all the pages are completely covered on both sides with indelible ink.
(Or did you mean a notebook computer?)

I wish you were clearer about what kind of notebook you meant.

Gramted, but he sends the clarification via e-mail and it goes to your span folder, and since you akwas empty it without even looking, you never see it.

I wish spring would come sooner.

Granted, but it only lasts for a day amd goes straight into blazing hot summer.

You didn't make a wish so you get nothing.

I wish for a tuna fish sandwich.

Granted, but instead of being poisoned like you probably expected, you go simply become paranoid about having been poisoned when you weren't, and end up in a mental institution.

I wish we could break the light barrier.

Granted, bit then you have to glue it back together.

I wish people knew that exceeding the speed of light is prerequisite for getting a job as a Domino's delivery driver.

Granted, but then no one is around to deliver pizzas.

I wish orange juice tasted purple.

Granted, but then purple juice tastes orange.

I wish someone hadn't named a fruit after a color.

Granted, but they name fruits after private parts instead.

I wish good habenero peppers were easier to find in stores.