I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

Granted, but they are triple the price.

I wish I didn't dislke habanero peppers (it's not the spiciness, it's the actual taste)

Granted, you now love them, but they taste like ass.

I wish for spamware, computer viruses and other similar computer problems to no longer exist.

Granted, computers no longer exist.

I wish I could figure out how I'm on this nonexistent computer.

Granted,, because I went on an epic quest to return computers to existence. The final price I had to pay is that all knowledge of it occuring was erased from everyone's memories except for mine.

I wish for a burrito.

Granted, but it's worse than the kind you get from 7-Eleven.

I wish I could have free food (anything I want) for the next year.

Granted, its literal poop. And the only one that qualifies for the free food.

I wish that humanity wasn't a bunch of jerks.

I said "anything I want." So any food would qualify.

Granted, now they're murderous psychopaths and they all are targeting you.

I wish you had read my last wish fore carefully.

Granted, but since you said "fore" instead of "more," he can do so at the front end of a boar.

I wish you'd be more careful aboat spelling.

Granted, as soon as you do the same, Miss "front end of a boar."

I wish the grammar police would knock it the you-know-what off.

Granted, in their place is the Fashion Police.

I wish for a better postal service.

Granted, there is a now a better postal service in Zimbabwe.

I wish Trident's flavor lasted longer.

Granted, but the only flavor they have is poison flavor (don't worry, its not THAT bad...sorta)

I wish for racism to no longer exist.

Granted, but people find other reasons to dislike one another.

I wish people could learn to settle their differences rationally instead of killing one another.

Granted, istead they settle their differences by partaking in tv gameshows from the 90s (such as Secrets of the Hidden Temple or Jeapody)

I wish for no more farts. For anyone.

Granted, but then people violently explode from having no way to expel excess gas.

I wish farts didn't smell bad.

Granted, but they are now so loud that even hearing one from a block away shatters your eardrums.

I wish to see Barney the dinosaur tortured and killed.

Granted, but a mob of angry four-year-old is out for revenge against you.

I wish Element Electronics' so-called "smart" TV wasn't so stupid.

TheDarkOne wrote:Granted, but a mob of angry four-year-old is out for revenge against you.

I wish Element Electronics' so-called "smart" TV wasn't so stupid.

Someone cybernetically engineers a bio-tech interface cyborg technology and implements it into the Element "smart" tv, and it becomes self-aware and now has logic and reasoning skills. The TV then also costs much resources to survive, as it now has more basic needs to have ability and consciousness. As a result, being that the TV has it's own reasoning and purpose aside from any outer influence of any other person, the TV decides it now has a reason to also be self-defensive about it's own survival, and being that it costs more resources than the average human for functionality, it starts consuming the planet in a desperate attempt at existing at any cost, all human life is erased from existence from being snuffed out by the new hyper-intelligent self-aware device/person.

I wish I could at some point finally find the time to finish my .qst file and complete a quest that is fun to play.

Granted, but then your computer does the same thing as the TV did.

I wish I had known that my PlayStation 2 was not compatible with the Element TV before I went ahead and bought the smegging thing.

Granted, but you can never get a refund. Ever.

I with for a pop-tart.

Granted, but you out it in a faulty toaster and it gets burned completely black. And it was the last Pop-Tart of your life.

I wish you weren't actually right about me not being able to get a refund on that TV. I lost the receipt and the store wehre I bought it won't take returns on electronics without a receipt.

Granted, but they give you the refund in Turkish Lira and no banks will exchange it for US currency.

I wish I didn't have to work until 11 PM.

Granted, you now work at 11:01 PM.

I wish to never have to work again.

Granted, you get fired from your job and nobody else will hire you.

I wish my shift at work ended at 8:00 PM. I don't care if it starts three hours earlier.

Granted, you now work until 8 pm, and start your next shift at 9pm the same day.

I wish that the Wii U had been handled better.

Granted, but as a result the price was much higher than you could ever hope to afford.

I wish the postal service actually delivered mail directly to our door instead of a bank of mailboxes at the end of the street.

Granted, but you no longer get any mail. Ever.

I wish I had more free time.

Granted, you have all the free time you want since you were fired from your job a few posts ago.

I wish for more coffee flavor choices at the local store, without the price being affected. and the flavors are ones I like.

Granted, but now drinking coffee makes you violently sick.

I wish the neighbor's dog would stop barking for no reason.

Granted, but now your cat inexplicably starts barking for no reason.

I wish I could find that YouTube vieo I started watching and never finished. It seem to have disappeared on me.