I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

Granted, but you are unable to find an actual NES console on which to play them.

I wish my neighbors wouldn't play their stereo so loud.

Granted, they instead start pounding on your door very loudly every night around midnight...

I wish for a perfect healthy body...

Granted, but then you fall down an open manhole and break every bone in your perfect healthy body.

I wish for a brand-new Wii U.

Granted, then you drop it down the same manhole you made me fall into (MINE, now!)...

I wish I had not fallen into an open manhole (Owies!!!)

Granted, instead you jumped over it, right into the path of a speeding bus.

I wish I had a nice, cold, bottle of Sprite.

Granted, but I laced it with arsenic because you got me hit by a bus... Bye!

I wish [MENTION=60919]TheDarkOne[/MENTION] was not so darn dark!!

Granted, I'm 1/1000th of a shade lighter.

I wish for everything that's ever been stolen from me to be returned, in the same condition it was in when I last had it.

Granted, but it's so much stuff that it all crushes you when it all returns... (Ouch!)

I wish I could have infinite energy to do everything I want to do...

Granted, but you have so much energy you can't sit still for more than 20 seconds.

I wish True Blood had lasted a few more seasons.

Granted, but it sucked like a vampire on a feeding frenzy...

I wish I knew how [MENTION=60919]TheDarkOne[/MENTION] granted my wish after getting crushed by all of his returned stuff...

Granted, the same way you could play a Wii U down in the sewer with every bone in your body broken.

I wish I had some fresh salmon.

Granted, but it's 9 Lives (MEOW?!?)

I wish for vegan chocolate truffles...

Granted, but you eat too many and get sick.

I wish for fresh strawberries.

Granted, but they're GMO berries, and they gradually turn you into a giant strawberry... Ummm... You look DELICIOUS!!

I wish I could resist eating [MENTION=60919]TheDarkOne[/MENTION], as he is now a giant strawberry...

Granted, just as you are about to take a big bite, I turn back into a human. I look down at you with your mouth wide open about to bite me and say "I suppose there is a logical explanation for this?"

I wish there were some real Final Fantasy games for the 3DS besides the Theaterhythm games.

Granted,but just as they're released, your 3DS breaks and you can't play them...

I wish I owned both Theatrhythm games...

Granted, but then your 3DS breaks and you also cannot play them.

I wish I was as smart as Sheldon Cooper (but still with my own personality).

Granted, you are fictionally as smart as Sheldon Cooper (as he is a fictional character...), and you still have your own personality(ies)...

I wish I had unlimited wishes...

Granted, but then you get amnesia and forget you have them.

I wish to live forever.

Granted, but you have to watch everyone else around you die. You're so lonely... (Sowwy!)

I wish... I wish... (STUPID amnesia!) I wish I could remember how to make wishes...

Granted, but then you discover that your unlimited wishes were taken back because you didn't use them for so long (so sorry).

I wish I could communicate with cats.

Granted, "Meow, Rawr, & Hiss" is your full vocabulary now... Have fun!!

I wish for Santa Claus to give me $10,000,000... (NOT stolen, & NOT counterfeit, & NOT Monopoly or any other board game money...)

Granted, but Santa Claus doesn't really exist. You'll get your $10,000,000 from him if and when he ever does...

I wish my cats could speak and understand English.

Granted, your cats can speak and understand English, but you still only speak Feline...

I wish for World Peace (NOT a dream, I don't die and not be able to enjoy it, and it lasts forever...)

Granted, but the world blows up two days later and therefore it is total peace that would last forever. Oh, and you didn't die in the process, so you're just floating in space.

I wish Final Fantasy VI would be remade for the 3DS and released in North America, in English, and without anything happening to my 3DS that would make it unplayable.

Granted, but the game is so expensive that you die while trying to save up for it...

I wish I was not floating in space after the world blew up...

Granted, you get assimilated by the Borg.

I wish I didn't die trying to save up for that game.

Granted, welcome to the Borg...

I wish I was not Borg, I like to have thoughts of my own...

Granted, you break free of the Borg collective, but they send drones to kill you. Nice knowing you....

I wish I wasn't one of the drones that was sent to kill you.

Granted,the whole Borg mess was a dream... We're both alive, but you're still stuck speaking only Feline...

I wish to be multilingual...