I Wish... You Were A Frog

Granted. It gets a mile to the gallon.

I wish I weren't so tired all the time.

Granted, but you'll become a zombie.

I wish Mondays were days off.

Granted. You now have to work Sundays.

I wish for a sunny day tomorrow.

Granted, but a snow storm hits Great Britain for 2 months after that, followed by a Canadian blizzard.

I wish some people would think twice before speaking.

Granted, but everybody does it and now nobody says anything.

*Incidentally, I'd love a bit of snow. We never get it on the coast. 🙄

I wish I could play the guitar as well as Beldaran.

Granted, but then guitar becomes obsolete and no one plays it.

I wish I had time to read all the books I've been meaning to read.

Granted. Time freezes for everyone but you, and by the time you've finished, you'll have aged 5 years in 5 seconds.

I wish I were rich and famous.

*And I'll be able to read a whole collection of books in 5 seconds? Sweet.*

Granted, but because of inflation, your money wouldn't be worth a thing and fame becomes notoriety.

I wish someone didn't eat all the ice cream.

Granted. Now you can eat it and feel sick all night.

I wish I could control the weather.

Granted, but only hot weather.

I random people didn't puff their smoke in my face.

Granted. They do it to little kids instead.

I wish I was just a little bit taller.

Granted, but the average height of the rest of the guys becomes 6 feet 5.

I wish I could go to Six Flags soon.

Granted, but you have to take me with you.

I wish I could build a theme park that's better then all the other theme parks in the world put together, and has a higher safety record, too.

Granted, but it goes bankrupt.

I wish somebody would do my english HW for me. And good. No half ass work.

Granted, but the teacher never asks for it.

I wish I had a nice bottle of Root Beer right about now.

Granted, but its a glass bottle and you've got butterfingers.

I wish teachers didn't ask students to write out pages upon pages of shit only to forget to collect it or collect it but not check it.

Granted, but now instead of writing papers of shit, you have to write novels of shit. Have fun

I wish I was a paraplegic(out of ideas)

granted, but you also suffer from brain damage

i wish life was a game.

Granted. You always lose.

I wish I had a nice, cushy job and earned loads of money

Granted, but work is declared illegal and you'll be thrown in jail.

I wish creeps would recognize themselves when they look in the mirror.

Granted, but they recognize that they don't care and act even creepier.

um...

I wish people weren't so forgetful...

granted, but all people die.

I wish I posted a I wish two posts above this one

Granted, but it sucked.

I wish I didn't have to 'dress for seccess' tomorrow.

Granted, but you'd end up dressing up everyday for the rest of your life.

I wish the hurricane season was shorter and less damaging.

Granted, tornado season all year long!

I wish I owned a suit

Granted, but you'd have to wear a tie to bed too.

I wish someone wasn't leaving.

Granted. You are.

I wish The Minnesota Timberwolves didn't suck

granted, but they never play against the Spurs.

i wish i played pro football.

Granted, but you suffer a neck injury during your first game.

I wish Darth Vader could come over to my house so we could kick it, discuss the state of the Empire, and drink apple juice together.