I Wish... You Were A Frog

Granted. But Walt Whitman sucks, so now you do too.

I wish I knew what I was supposed to be focused on.

Granted, but what you're focusing on is something that will end up killing you somehow.

I wish this topic was This or That

Granted. But you vision will become un-focused. You will then have to wear glasses like that of the professor on futurama.

I wish that was 1 and 1/4th inches taller.

OK... thank you Machiavelli.

Granted, but you also weigh 300 pounds more.

I wish this topic was This or That

Granted. But then This or That would turn into this topic.

I wish that there was a real life mute button that only I can use to shut people up.

Granted, but you can't unmute.

I wish I was a lesbian girl(running out of ideas)

Granted. But your become a very ugly one.

I wish I never ran out of ideas.

granted. but you cannot find anyone to listen to them.

i wish i could express my feelings better.

Granted, but then everyone thinks you're gay for being so expressive.

I wish I were Jack Black's best friend.

Granted. But then you'd have to change your first name.

I wish I could read books by just looking at the cover; it saves a lot of time.

Granted, but the experience gives you such a horrendous headache, that you discontinue the practice.

I wish I could become a toaster and throw nuclear slime at all the purple monster babies.

Granted. But these purple monster babies have skin that absorb nuclear slime and shoot it back out at it's sender.

I wish that I had an unlimited supply of cherry coke.

Granted, Mr. No Teeth and super-diabetes.

I wish masturbation made you more intelligent.

Granted, but you lose your hands in an accident.

I wish I could just do my homework and stop procrastinating.

Granted, but you still fail the test.

I wish it was January.

Granted. But the sudden change of temperature (it was 91 degrees today!) causes all of the oceans algae to die. Congratulations. You just killed the ocean.

I wish that I would win the lottery.

Granted, but its only a $2.00 lottery.

I wish I was a PRETTY lesbian girl

Granted. But you have to let me watch you have sex whenever you do it.

I wish I was a rich porn baron who drove a ferrari and made porn films for a living.

Beldaran wrote:Granted. But you have to let me watch you have sex whenever you do it.

Granted. You do gay porn.

I wish I had 5 arms

Granted, but you also have 3 legs.

I wish I had a magic ball.

Granted, but it has a mind of it's own and you can never tell if it's lying to you.

I wish that I didn't lose my earing this morning.

Granted. You lost the other one.

I wish the Braves would win the world series.

Granted. but the yankees challenged them to a rematch and the braves lost.

I wish I could find anything I'v ever lost.

Granted. However, it will take you 10 minutes to find each individual thing, and you will continue to lose things every 9 minutes.

I wish I was a fish. :waggle:

Granted, but your alergic to water :waggle:

I wish that whenever I wanted to check the weather, it would be on tv as soon as I turned it on so that I would not have to wait.

Granted, but nothing is ever on TV except your local weather.

I wish I could sing well.

Granted, but you're now deaf.

I wish I lived in Kenya

Granted, but you get mauled by a lion.

I wish I could control time.

Granted but only in one second incriments ten years apart.

I wish I knew how to swim.

Granted, but you lose the ability to navigate and get stuck in the middle of the ocean.

i wish i had the Family Guy Season 3 dvd