I Wish... You Were A Frog

Granted, but your dvd player is broken.

I wish that it doesn't rain for the rest of the week.

granted, but the world blows up instead.

I wish the world would never blow up

Granted, but you spontaneosly combust.

I wish that the word "abbreviation" was shorter. (running out of ideas...)

Granted, but the alphabet becomes 26 letters longer.

I wish there wasn't poverty in the world.

Granted, but middle-class is now equal to poverty and upper-class is now equal to middle-class.

I wish I lived in the country

Granted, but you'd live there as a hermit.

I wish there were no hypocrits in the world.

Granted, but governments everywhere are thrown into disarray as all politicians suddenly disappear.

I wish I had a job.

Granted.

I wish I had a magic wand that actually works.

Granted, but it only has one spell: "Make Beldaran Have Instant Orgasm".

I wish I had that magic wand too.

granted, but you are unable to have real sex.

i wish i had a time machine and could travel back and forth into the future.

Granted, but the only point in time you can travel to is the end of the universe.

I wish my cat weren't so hungry all the time.

granted, but your cat dies.

i wish I could stop eating junk food.

Granted, but you're allergic to every other type of food.

I wish I was all powerful, with no limits to my power.

Granted, but your power will destroy you.

I wish I wasn't a *responsible* person.

Granted, but you become a crack whore.

I wish I had magic pants that no matter how many times you reached into the right front pocket, there was a twenty dollar bill in there.

Granted, but in your right pocket is acid.

I wish Varina wasn't so good at football.

Granted. Varina now owns you at Baseball instead.

I wish I could have Linkin Park's next three studio albums right now.

Uh, granted. Since that's so awful by itself, I don't need to add anything.

I wish Linkin Park didn't exist.

Granted, but they have taken all rock music with them.

I wish there was only one language in the world.

Granted, but it's sounds really irritating and is hideously complicated to learn.

I wish that when I die, I'm going to go to Heaven

Granted, but Heaven takes the form of your personal hell.

I wish I could wake up one day speaking all the languages of the world.

Granted, but you suddenly becomes Mute.

I wish I were never tired.

Granted, but no one would lend you toothpicks for your eyelids.

I wish there was a unified font color for all.

Granted. But only for this post!

I wish the world would disarm every single nuclear bomb.

Granted, but it you cant see it against the background.

I wish *thinks back to YCOPI* that nobody would ever post as the same time as someone else.

Granted, but things would be too quiet for comfort.

I wish my IM didn't act up all the time.

Granted, but nobody ever talks to you ever again.

I wish I had enough money to fly over and actually meet some of you guys.

Granted, you can't find anyone who wants to see you.

I wish that I got a new computer.

Granted, but it's a brand new Pentium I.

I wish I had a jet plane.

Granted, but fuel costs more then the plane itself.

I wish I was Superman. No, wait... Spider-Man. No... Ah, sod it. A superhero. With DECENT superpowers. Like flight. And Stength. And stuff. Yeah.