I Wish... You Were A Frog

Granted, but he no longer screws up his speeches, and whenever you speak, well... Lol...

I wish I didn't have ADD.

Granted. You have ADHD.

I wish I had a faster connection.

Granted. you are now trapped in the internet, instantly going to sites without the aid of a server.

I wish Al quieda's intelligence dropped by 300%, and they knocked on my door asking if "this is a cave" so I could beat them up and take pictures of them wetting themselves, which I would post on the internet for all patriots to see.

Granted, but everyone would believe them to be fakes, and you'd be locked up for it.

I wish I were able to visit every theme park in the world.

Granted, but you don't get to go on any of the rides.

I wish I could turn back the clock for some people.

Granted, but they end up turning out worse because of it.

I wish pizza was free.

Granted, but they decide to stop making it worldwide.

I wish it was Sunday everyday.

Granted, but you have to go to church everyday.

I wish for world peace.

Granted. A facist regime takes over and murders everyone. But there is no more war.

I wish I was a famous author.

Granted, but now your an ugly old lady who does nothing but write.

I wish my skin was blue.

Granted. However, your glasses fall off and a library bookshelf falls on you in your own privately-funded mansion. 😛

I wish that a large bird would descend from the skies and peck my brains out.

(Heh. I look forward to your response. >:-P)

Granted, but then the birds poops on a hot young lady.

*Next!

I wish I could know everything

Granted, but you lose the abilty to speak or write or communicate in any way, so no one benefits from your knowledge. Gradually the truth drives you mad.

I wish that I could have sex with Elizabeth Hurley.

Granted, but she just had a sex change.

I wish I had 3 green boxes

Granted, but they're sealed shut and you can never open them.

I wish I had cancer. (Let's see you reply to THAT!)

Granted.

I wish this thread would go on forever until the end of the universe.

Granted, but the eventual massive size of the thread pulls the universe into itself, ending the universe.

I wish people didn't eat all my food

Granted, but your mouth would be glued shut.

I wish I could make a wish with no consequences attached to it.

Granted. But your wishes stop coming true.

I wish upon a star...

Granted, but you stop seeing the Milky Way.

I wish I had an infinite supply of Mountain Dew.

Granted, but you die of caffeine poisoning.

I wish I had a magic pop machine that had infinite cans of pop and cost no money and the pop was a secret health serum that improved your health and also I had lots of money and random supermodels would come over and take fully clothed showers with me, followed by kinky sex with loud music playing and then I become king of america.

Granted, but only for the pop machine and king of America because the wish machine got jammed.

I wish I could paint and draw like an artist.

Granted, but you are only able to draw pictures of me.

I wish I had four arms.

Granted, even if I don't want to imagine why for. BUT they'll tied all the time.

I wish I had time to play all day.

Me Too

YCOPI you like pronouncing "YCOPI" as "WHY COPY" instead of saying all the words.

Wrong thread, Bel. Try again.

lol god damn it. I'm an idiot.

I wish I wasn't an idiot.

Granted, but if you were not an idiot to begin with, you're cursed.

I wish I didn't have to go soon.

Granted, but you end up doing nothing.

I wish I was married to Erica Campbell

Granted, but you discover she's a drag queen.

I wish I could write like Walt Whitman.