I Wish... You Were A Frog

Granted, but you just spent the last 90 minutes downloading updates for all of the worst games in existence.

I wish these wishes were bold and italic like this.

Granted, but all the wishes are shrunk down to microscopic size.[SIZE="1"] No, much smaller than this.[/SIZE]

I wish school was more exciting...and didn't involve me dying. (I refuse to post in italics!)

Granted, but it's now utterly pointless.

I wish my PC weren't so crap!

Granted. Instead of a crappy PC, you now have a Macintosh, circa 1996. Ha!

I wish I knew how to play the piano.

Granted, but you go deaf.

I wish I had more crisps. I'm hungry.

Granted. Now you have high cholesterol.

I wish I were a trick shooting gunfighter, Revolver Ocelot style. Only without the crazy arm.

Granted, but you keep getting challenged and eventually you get shot in the back, paralysing you.

I wish I had more blank DVDs.

Granted, but you can't actually burn anything onto any of them.

I wish I had a computer capable of running WoW.

Granted, you can go pick it up right now if you wish, it's right under the Titanic.

I wish people would stop posting in this topic.

granted, but they make 3 more just like it.

I wish people would stop trying to kill this thread!

Granted, they kill the entire site.

I wish people'd stop calling me lazy!

Granted, they now start calling you much ruder things.

I wish I hadn't accidentally cut my finger the other day. I've had to put a plaster on it and I can't type properly.

Granted, you accidentaly cut your hand off.

I wish my parents would get off my case about my room.

Granted, but they get on your case about the rest of the house.

I wish I hadn't blown all my money in a big shopping spree on Friday.

Granted, but that money now goes to me.

I wish the next person that answers would admit that I am better than that next person.

granted, you are better...at being stupid.

I wish I could turn into hyper sonic whenever I wanted to...uber pwnage anyone?

Granted, however the rest of your life is taken up with saving the world and fighting bad guys, so no more free time. Being a hero's not that easy ...

I wish I lived in England.

granted, but you have to be tony blair's personal secretary

* personally, koopa, I'd rather be fighting bad guys and saving the world than what I'm doing now.

I wish I didn't have this stupid wine project. IT'S GONNA DRIVE ME INSANE!!!

Granted. All the wine's gone, but you drunk it so you go insane anyway.

On a related note, I wish Tony Blair would ... leave.

Granted.

...what? He's fucked up our country. Nuke the sodding asshole.

I wish I'd gotten more sleep last night.

Granted, but you oversleep so you can't sleep tonight.

I wish I wasn't going through one of my hyper mental moments right now. *twitch twitch* hee hee

Granted, but you spend the rest of your life feeling depressed.

I wish my parents woun't keep getting on my back about getting a job. I swear to god, I am trying!

Hmm. Granted, but they don't like the job you get, and get on your back again.

I wish I could go to the movies today.

Granted, but they ran out of popcorn.

I wish I could play guitar like Eddie Van Halen.

Granted, but Rock suddenly goes out of style and now you're just a jerk with a guitar.

I wish I could do something decent with my hair.

Granted. You shave it off for charity benefitting cancer children. Which is good, but you're still bald, and thus have a 50% chance of either becoming a night club bouncer, gay, or both.

I wish I could have gotten some sleep today before I leave for work in 15 minutes. Already been up for 12 hours, going to be up for at least 12 more.

Granted, but now you can never sleep again.

I wish I had some sweeties. I've got a craving.

granted, but now you have cavities and heve to pey the local dentist $500. And he's not too steady with a drill...

I wish I could actually use a Halberd properly. I've been practicing with a large rake, and it's not easy...I've taken many a spill.

Granted, but they're outlawed!

I wish I had a platinum credit card

Granted, but now it is extremely sharp on the edges and can cut through your wallet.

I wish nothing.