Make A Wish, At A Price

Granted, but sense I had ceased to exists, I can't really do anything about it.

I wish I existed again....

Granted, but you only exist as an amoeba in a petri dish.

I wish for eternal peace of mind.

Granted, but getting that requires that you live in cave at the top of a mountain with little to no human contact and live on goat meat.

I wish I could access the Veldt. I don't understand why I can't.

Granted, but once you do, you are never able to access any of the other forums again, ever.

I wish blue was green.

Granted, but now green is plaid.

I wish I wasn't an amoeba.

Granted, you're now a paramecium.

I wish I could afford a better laptop.

Granted, but you have to give me your old one with no software changes. You can keep that mouse, though.

I wish Sega still made consoles. I would have liked the see where they went after the Dreamcast.

Granted, they created the Sega Genesis CD Dreamcast Master System Gear, a console/handheld hybrid system with specs on par with the Nintendo Switch, as well as mimicing its concepts. Howevver nobody ever gets one because SCALPERS buy them all and are never able to sell them because they are greedy fucks.

I wish I was human again.

Granted, the lab where you have been living finally manages to restore you to human form. You walk outside and are promptly hit by a drunk driver and killed instantly.

I wish the first Soul Calibur game had been made for other consoles besides the Dreamcast.

Granted, but the only consoles it gets released on are the Atari 2600 an Commodore 64.

I wish I was alive again.

Granted, but you're an amoeba again.

I wish my shoulder would stop hurting.

Granted, but it falls off (it just pops off, like a Lego person's arm can pop outta the socket)

I wish was a living human again and not immediatly killed afterwards.

Granted, you aren't killed, just so badly injured that you're in the ICU.

I wish my friend and gaming buddy Kevin wasn't sick.

Granted, he's dead. And YOU'RE sick.

I wish I wasn't sick for real. But at least I have a sweet boyfriend to take care of me 😊

Granted, you are nursed back to health by your BF who dresses in a slutty female nurse outfit of the worst kind possible. Also you don't know where he got that ballgag...Oh right, something actually bad...he gets sick the next day.

I wsh for to revocer from the ICU

Granted, you revocer, whatever that is, but you don't recover.

I wish my boyfriend doesn't get sick from taking care of me.

Granted, but he loses his sense of humor forever. If he didn't have one already, he gets one but its set to permanent bad pun mode.

I wish to recover from the ICU (Intensive Care Unit)

Granted, but it takes 3 years.

I wish my boyfriend still has his sense of humor, that's part what I love about him.

Awww....you're sweet, [MENTION=61623]PinkFairy[/MENTION]

Granted, but you lose yours instead (sorry, but I had to make it bad somehow).

I wish to change my schedule to where I could spend more time with my girlfriend.

Granted, you suffer a horrific injury that makes it impossible for you to do your job anymore. Now you have lots of free time.

I wish that never happens for real.

Granted, but you have nightmares of of it for eternity.

I wish for Pokemon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum to get a remake.

Granted, it's remade for the Atari Lynx.

I wish Atari had made some better consoles in the 90's.

Granted, but the games for it are nearly impossible to find, and when you do find them, they are super expensive.

I wish the old Nintendo DSi could still connect to the internet.

Granted, but yours inexplicably shuts itself off every time you try to sign on.

I wish there were less expensive sneakers in my size.

Granted, but they're poorly made and fall apart in a week.

I wish I could figure out Resident Evil DC.

Granted, but then it gets so easy that playing ut becomes boring.

I wish I could beat Chrono Trigger DS without cheats. It's the final battle with Lavos that always does me in.

Granted, but the only ending you can ever get is the Developer's Ending.

I wish for a spoon.

Granted, it's a cheap plastic spoon from a grade school cafeteria.

I wish for some hot chocolate with marshmallows.

Granted, but then you accidentally spill it in the sink.

I wish for a Whatchamacallit chocolate bar.

Granted, but somehow a rat butt got into the bar and there are bits of it mixed into it EVERYWHERE.

I wish for a knife.