My Hill

I disable the power to your electric fence by cutting the power lines, then--using wire-cutters--I cut through the fence and push you out, claiming the hill.

I protect the hill by baiting the ground around it with delicious pancake breakfasts.

My hill.

I strap on my big boots and stomp through the pancake buffet up to the top of the hill and push CJC right off.
I dig a moat around the hill; filling it with LAVA. Real bad guy style.

I raise my flag and declare "This is my hill now."

I use my super jump boots to jump over your moat and land right behind you, giving you a nice shove so that you tumble down the hill, right into the lava. I cover the hill with an impenetrable dome just like the one that covers Chester's Mill.

My hill

Doh! ninjaed...

I borrow Deadpool's teleporter and teleport through the dome.

I surround the hill with a 10 foot tall, 5 foot thick wall of solid steel

I use an acetylene torch to burn a hole through the wall.

I set up a laser grid which is powered by stored solar power (so no power lines to cut) that covers the entire hill and blocks teleportation.

My hill.

I put mirrors on the sides of a refrigerator box and walk through the lasers hidden inside my box, while the mirrors reflect the lasers back to their emitters and destroy them.

I engulf the hill in a tiny black hole - the event horizon is just on the edge of the hill and because I am inside it, I cannot be pushed out. I also wear an anti-gravity belt so the immense forces do not crush me.

I reverse your black hole into a white hole, trapping you inside it while the hill is on the outside.

I encase the hill in the center of a tesseract. Good luck finding a way through that.

My hill.

I casually remind you that the tesseract is infact, an object of fiction - and does not exist. So I just stroll on over and punt ya off muh hill.

A nice freshly painted white picket fence surrounds this hill now. And the gate is totally LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE!

I reach over the top of the fence and unlock it.

I surround the hill with a 10 meter tall, 10 meter thick wall of diamond.

And on the subject of fictional stuff, I used Deadpool's teleporter, which is fictional, in an earlier hill take over attempt.

I use a diamond-tipped circular saw to cut a hole through your diamond wall, then chase you off the hill.

I hire a physicist and mathematician to prove that a tesseract can, in fact, exist, and so I again place the hill in the center of one.

My hill.

If you are mortal, the tesseract would disintegrate you within seconds of your picking it up, bye! I then surround the hill with a piranha filled moat. MY hill...

I throw a side of beef into the moat, and while your piranha are occupied with that, I swim across the moat. I then ascend the hill and uppercut you Mortal Kombat-style, sending you flying from the hill.

I get a legion of deadly and well-armed ninja to guard the hill.

My hill.

I send up a cloud of poisonous gas to eradicate your legion of "deadly" and "well armed" ninja. When it clears, I boot you from the hill and set up a 30 foot tall electrified fence that is powered by solar energy reserves, as well as four packs of wolves. My hill...

I get in a helicopter and fly over your fence and wolves, landing right on top of the hill.

I set up automatic machine gun turrets with infra-red targeting and motion sensors to blast anyone who tries to climb the hill.

I resurrect the ninja legion that I bumped off a couple of posts back and send them up to take the fire from your machine gun turrets, then I kick you down the hill and take it over by coating most of the hill with ice so that everyone who climbs it will slide off... MY hill...

I climb the hill with a flamethrower, melting your ice. Too bad you get in the path of the flamethrower. Oh, well.

I surround the hill with a dimensioal vortex so the anyone who starts coming up the hill will find themselves walking down it on the other side (and turning around and going back will produce the same result).

My hill.

An "dimensioal" vortex does not exist... I climb to the top of the hill and send you flying from it.

I then cover the hill with blades and thorns and shards of glass, shredding anyone foolhardy enough to try to climb MY hill...

I come up the hill wearing full plate mail. I then push you off the hill into all your sharp stuff.

I set up massive speakers to blast One Direction "music" whenever anyone gets close.

I set off a nuclear explosion within the ionosphere above the hill to halt all electronics. The music stops. So I aim a big ol' magnet at you, which draws your platemail onto it.

Neat, this is my hill now. So I bring a couple Chain-Chomps along and brick 'em all over the place.

I put on a Sledghammer Suit (from Super Mario Bros. 3) and throw hammers at your Chain Chomps, taking them out easily. I then throw one at you that knocks you from the hill.

I set up a wall of fire that surrounds the hill. Just past that is a fifty-meter wide pit filled with poison-tipped spikes, and on the other side of that is a ring of whirling blades. And I stand at the top of the hill with a fully-loaded .44 Magnum and plenty of extra ammo.

My hill.

Space station cannon the whole thing. Once I confirm all trace of your defenses are gone, I take the hill and deploy my defenses.
I create a trench that is a mile wide, and 5 miles deep around the hill. 1 foot from the edge, I build a wall of spikes that jut in all directions that is 1 mile high, and 10 feet thick.
There are auto-turrets that shoot exploding bunnies at intruders outside the wall from the top, lining the entire top of the wall. Lastly, I build a house of diamond around myself.

My hill.

I was killed in my last attempt to capture the hill. So I just float my ghostly ass on through all that meta game, and spook you out.

Legends now tell of the spooky ass ghost that haunts the hill. My hill, of course.

That hill is haunted. I go find a new hill. Or rather, I cause an avalanche by clapping near a mountain and MAKE a new hill.

My hill.

Your hill is not the original hill, so nobody tries to take it from you.

I call my Ghostbuster buddies to get rid of Ultima's ghost. I keep the diamond bunker for myself, and I recruit a team of highly trained Special Forces soldiers armed to the teeth and equipped with bulletproof body armor and gas masks and I use my dark wizard powers to grant them magical defenses against anything else.

My hill.

I teleport a miniature black hole above the hill, sucking the mercs and the other defenses into it. Before the hill itself is sucked in I teleport it back to its original area.

I rebuild my house of diamond, line the perimeter with exploding bunny cannons, and hire Deathstroke to patrol the area.

My hill.

I hack into your network system and reprogram your bunny cannons to attack anyone besides me (which includes Deathtroke). Once that is taken care of, I use a diamond cutting laser to open your diamond house and decapitate you with a scissor-slash of the twin katana I brought with me.

I set up particle disintegration pylons around the perimeter of the hill so that anyone walking between them will become atomic dust. Oh, and they cover the entire hill so no going over them. And anyone trying to dig under them will have contend with my subterranian monstrous worms.

My hill.

It's been months and nobody has tried to take the hill. I guess I win.

I buy the hill from you in exchange for seeing the straightest shota.

You never set up any defenses so I easily take back the hill.

As before, I set up particle disintegration pylons around the perimeter of the hill so that anyone walking between them will become atomic dust. They cover the entire hill so no one can over them. And if anyone tries to dig under them, they will have to contend with my subterranian monstrous worms.

My hill.