Babelfuck

This one's pretty good.

Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.
If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,
How many pickled peppers did Peter Piper pick?

v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v

The player of pipeau of Peter selected the transmission of oats marinierten the pepper,
emitting oats of which is of marinierten to player of pipeau the selected pepper Peter.
If the selected player who emits oats marinierten the pepper of pipeau of Peter,
the pepper that the player of pipeau of Peter chooses it selected?

What? The player of Peter's pipeau? I don't know about these ideas that are being promoted in our tongue twisters.

And now I present to you, living proof that nursery rhymes are NOT the same around the world:

Sing a song of sixpence, a pocket full of rye;
Four and twenty blackbirds baked in a pie.
When the pie was opened, they all began to sing.
Wasn't that a dainty dish to set before the King?

v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v

Songs a song of the Sixpencestuecks, a purse of the mountain ranges they completely;
Four and twenty merlons the cook with the furnace in a cake of the meat have instructd.
When the cake of the meat was opened, it had begun to sing whole number.
Wasn ' t he one of good taste before the ordered king who fixes only flagstone?

Man, oh, man, do I wish that translation ended with "brimstone." You'd be hearing it from the angry parents by now: "Satan wrote our nursery rhymes! The devil's in our nursery rhymes!"

Even the simple ones don't stay together.

One, two, buckle my shoe, three, four, shut the door, five, six, pick up sticks, seven, eight, lay them straight.

v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v . v

, two, the ice-slide of the ways, three, four, sluices the door, five, seises, restorations nonupdated posts, sieves, eight, are extended stop him directly.

(Nine, ten, don't do it again; eleven, twelve, go kiss yourself!)

Dang, I wish I'd been exposed to nursery rhymes like that as a kid. That gives me an idea...

Hickory dickory dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse ran down.
Hickory dickory dock.

Translates to...

The washbasin of the river, the one of the hard nut, the rat dickory
is, worked to the expensive outpost of the arsenal of the pulse of the
detonation. The arsenal of the pulse of the detonation is fixed
inside, the rat, of which the deep shutdowns one were executed.
Washbasin of the river dickory of hard nut.

Um....right.

I think I'll try a weird poem I wrote, "Statues:"

Staring like a mob of zombies,
Sheer blankness of expression.
Solemn, vacant minds
With brains in full regression.
Are these the great stone giants,
Easter Island's noble protectors?
Or college philosophy students
Quite bored by todays's lecture?

It becomes:

Like total of zombis of the care, empty target of the premises of the
printed matter determined. Serious and empty alcohol with the brains
in the complete safeguard. Are those the great giants of the rock, the
protection of nobleman of the console of passover? Or they were
participant of the category of the code of the complete long
philosophy of the university of the lobby of the conference of aujourd
'?

I think I like the original version of my poem (Just so you know, I'm not dissing philosophy in general, but an uncharacteristically boring teacher I had.)

By the way, "Armageddon Games"
translates to "Games of Armageddon." Wow, that actually makes sense.

Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the cauldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and toe of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog,
Adder's fork and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and howlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble.

becomes...

The network of a tail swampy, in the hornada one of the great boiler
and the cooks of the form with the furnace; Eye of r� of the extremity
and newt, that wools of the Klopfers and the language of the dog, of
that the cramp of the hole of howlet and the machine of the addition
of hidden man v, piedino of the lucertola and the wing, for an
enchantment of the efficient difficulty, like hornada of the bubble of
hell and the bubble.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand;
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree,
And stood awhile in thought.

And, as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came whiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

becomes...

to "Beware Jabberwock, my son! The Kiefer, that one that bites,
group of the examinaci�n of the fact, that they intercept! It makes
the examinaci�n to the protection of the bird of Jubjub and prevented
Bandersnatch!" frumious; Examinaci�n de F�z of the relative
lamierina, that one that is to the vorpal retirement; _ manxome much
enemy of the time, observ of t inside ignited -- therefore firm tree
of est Tumtum and during a continuous thought of certain time. And,
like in uffish that came est�ve arrested, Jabberwock, with the eyes of
the flame, thought, whiffling of the wood of the tulgey and burbled,
when to come! , two! , two! And further on and vorpal the pagination
the Snicker Brechenkruste was! To the left it died and to the relative
title it belonged, in common after galumphing.

Snicker Brechenkruste was really vorpal the pagination? I'm not sure what a pagination is, but I feel very worried nonetheless.

Continuing yours,

to "Beware Jabberwock, my son! The Kiefer, that one that bites,
group of the examinaci�n of the fact, that they intercept! It makes
the examinaci�n to the protection of the bird of Jubjub and prevented
Bandersnatch!" frumious; Examinaci�n de F�z of the relative
lamierina, that one that is to the vorpal retirement; _ manxome much
enemy of the time, observ of t inside ignited -- therefore firm tree
of est Tumtum and during a continuous thought of certain time. And,
like in uffish that came est�ve arrested, Jabberwock, with the eyes of
the flame, thought, whiffling of the wood of the tulgey and burbled,
when to come! , two! , two! And further on and vorpal the pagination
the Snicker Brechenkruste was! To the left it died and to the relative
title it belonged, in common after galumphing.

"The Jabberwock take care my son! Under this intercepting of them, group of examinaci3on that and fact of kiefer and water! It with the Jubjub in protection of the bird of the Bandersnatch which it closes the n multi examinaci3on which it will make! "frumious; The lamierina which is related, in vorpal seclusion Examinaci3ond U F4ez that; _manxome Hour vast quantity, the t Anui observ-- American Eastern standard time Tumtum which ignites and the tree which while thinking which hour is firm in like that reason. And, inside the est4eve all uffish which is arrested, fire and thought, the tulgey and vice- writing vice- writing sound me in the eye of the whiffling of the tree the Jabberwock, in order unyielding spirit when! 2! 2! If and it developed above, the vorpal pagination was the snicker Brechenkruste,! It died in the left and in the subject which is related elastometer after doing, inside joint ownership Ji, it belonged.

What worries me is it has started to use a bit of 1337-5p34|<