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Worst piece of mail ever.

26 replies · 5,000 views · Started 21 September 2008

So in November I get the joy of fulfilling my civic duty. Jury Duty. Good to know that I'm the only person I know that has ever gotten one of these.

They're going to pay me $8 a day for the first three days and 17 cents a mile. The place is a good 30 minutes away too, ugh. I'm totally using the Unstable Income card, because its not a lie. I still have to show up for the first day though, something I seriously do not want to do.

I got out of jury duty a couple years ago. Just told them that unless they wanted to pay me $68 a day rather than the $25, there was just no possible way I could afford to go - I have a baby to take care and lots of bills to pay.

You can totally take my place. I have to call this number when I'm done filling out the little survey asking if I live in PA, which is where they sent it to. [shrug] Bleh, I really don't want to go.

When I got called in, I was informed that I wasn't getting any money or payment unless I stayed after the first day or was on a Capitol case (the kind that last weeks/months). No gas reimbursement either way. What are you complaining about?

Anyway, HAVE FUN!!!1111

Beldaran wrote:Getting out of jury duty is easy. Just say crazy stuff in the pre-trial interviews.

lol
If your employer does not reimburse you for jury duty, that should be an immediate out. It is where I live, anyway. It was the last question on the survey. It also asked if it would cause an economic hardship since my employer wouldn't reimburse me. Well, duh. 🙄

They may require a letter from your employer for proof though.

I've gotten out of jury duty twice that way. If it doesn't work, then fake Tourette's in the pre-trial interviews...

Yeah, or subtly indicate that black people are always guilty, or that Jesus tells you whether to vote innocent or guilty by speaking to you in your dreams.

Beldaran wrote:Yeah, or subtly indicate that black people are always guilty, or that Jesus tells you whether to vote innocent or guilty by speaking to you in your dreams.

Careful-- that might put you on the short list. Know thy prosecutor.

Beldaran wrote:Ok, then claim that you make your jury decision purely based on flipping a coin. 😊

Yea anyway you can make it sound like you wont give them due processing they will drop you. Either that or say you cant financially afford to take that many days off work.

Beldaran wrote:Ok, then claim that you make your jury decision purely based on flipping a coin. 😊

It's especially effective if half your face also happens to be horribly disfigured.

I got a summons this summer, but my group number was high enough that I never had to go in. Nice when it works out that way.

I'm 25 and haven't been selected for jury duty... yet. I know it'll happen eventually, but I'm glad it hasn't happened yet.

Now, now, you guys, don't get all excit--... shit, I totally should have done that. And I also should have boned that Jackie chick...

*Sigh* I need to go back to college. Not for the education, of course.

No, you don't get to skip finals. They contacted me about four or five times in a row, and I got off each time because I was still taking College courses and couldn't spare 2-3 weeks. Then they'd mail me again as soon as the semester was over.

Moral of the story?
If you're ever required to stand trial for a crime in America, you are judged by a jury of your "peers"...twelve idiots who couldn't get out of jury duty.

Great.

Yes, you are judged by twelve sour people who don't want to be a part of proceedings that are centered around you. Not the best odds.

Tell them that you believe in jury nullification; it'll scare the prosecutor shitless and you won't come across looking like a racist/religious nut.

Zaphod Q. IX wrote:Moral of the story?
If you're ever required to stand trial for a crime in America, you are judged by a jury of your "peers"...twelve idiots who couldn't get out of jury duty.

Epic win. XD

And that bit about jury nullification... :P I never knew that... Good info.

My dad got out of jury duty once because he personally knew the defendant. Turned out, it was a malpractice case against a doctor from the hospital my dad used to work at. Really great moment - the guy walks into the courtroom, he and my dad wave at each other, and bam, free ticket home.