
That's my dog, Tasha (picture was taken in May). She's a German Shepard/Collie mix, and she turns 19 years old this month.
Despite her age, she was always pretty spunky. Like most people, she would have her off days, but that's normal.
We got her 13 years ago, shortly after Thanksgiving. Our dog, Curly, had died the morning of Thanksgiving, so we went out to get another dog to try and fill the empty hole in our hearts from the passing of our family friend. I was 10 years old, my sister was 3.
Around the beginning of summer, my mom talked to her vet to see what we should do with her. Her vet said that if she wasn't having accidents, growling or biting at people, to just give her some Tylenol or ibuprofen for her arthritis. Things were looking up and we were hoping she would die peacefully here at home, that's what we all wanted. Unfortunately, for the past week or so, she hasn't been doing well. Tasha has been having accidents on the back porch, and this morning my mom found her laying in a puddle of urine and feces. Mom tried to clean her up and help her outside, but Tasha growled and bared her teeth at her attempts. So we've decided that it's time to have her put to sleep.
It may be ridiculous, I don't know, but I've been crying about this all day. It's embarrassing to be sitting at work and just randomly burst into tears, but no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't control it. Tasha is my puppy, she is like my best friend. I don't want her to go, but I don't want her to suffer, either. This is the hardest thing I've ever gone through. It feels like she's been around forever, and now by the time I get off work at noon tomorrow, she'll be gone forever... I can't stop thinking about it, trying to imagine what my life will be like without her. She's always been there. She used to sleep with me when I was sad. The night I found out I was pregnant, she laid in bed with me all night, not moving at all, with her nose under my chin while I cried myself to sleep. She'd sleep with me when it stormed (she was scared). She loves the snow.
It hurts. It's like losing your best friend. My dog is leaving and there's nothing I can do about it. All I can do is cry...
I love you Tasha.