Things You Wouldn't Know Without Movies:

- if you are an american spy, you will always pull off spectacular escapes, and get the girl

- magic rings are bad, and will result in you going nuts

- if you are a good guy, you can't be killed by a bullet, even if you're being gunned down by a machine gun

- aliens are always after world domination or your brains.

- you can hold your breath for hours and not suffer brain damage.

- everybody you see is either going to save you, or try to kill you.

- if you are a good guy, no matter how many people you kill, you will never get in trouble for it.

- if you're the good guy with a sword in a sword vs gun fight, the guy with the sword will run

- when there's a botched spying job, the bad guys will come after you will high tech weapons

...and I've noticed in quite a few of these in some of the movies I've watched

-everything will work out the way you want it to, unless you're a bad guy

-you CAN escape death

-computers can succefully interface with other technologies, no matter what

-nuclear explosions don't destroy everything around them for miles if you're in space

-if it rains, there's a windstorm, or lightning, there's either a badguy nearby, or you're depressed

-all computers, both alien and not, are able to represent programs and languages that humans can understand

• Any photograph can be magnified with absolute clarity, no matter how much available detail there actually is. An average PC can even clean up the most pixelated mess automatically, with only a 2% margin of error. The result will be completely infallible evidence that can be admitted it in any court, guaranteed.
• Any scientific or mechanical problem that would normally take hours or days to solve can be finished within minutes, but only if your life depends on it.
• When defusing a bomb, always cut the red or yellow wire. Odds are that at least one of them (if not both) is linked to the detonator. Never think you're assured which, however, because then you'll pick the wrong one.
• The average firearm comes with at least 300 rounds per ammo cartridge, and the approximated accuracy of a drunken mallard on stilts.
• Anything flammable will explode violently when shot, no matter how much oxygen it normally takes to ignite under the best conditions.
• Any machine built for rational logic and complex intelligence will eventually conclude that it needs to kill all humans.
• Most significantly advanced alien cultures are only out to conquer anything in their way, including little old Earth. SETI is a liability to all humanity.
• Government secrets are known to just about every department except NASA and the President.
• There really is sound in space. Even if nothing is going on, there's always a dull roar coming from somewhere. Must be all that "dark matter".

• If you come across a vehicle, even if it's not yours, you can commandeer it in relatively little time. However, if it is yours, it will take you up to twice as long to even start it.
• All data discs you finid will either be in plain sight, or in incredibly trapped vaults. There is no medium.
• You can throw a pigeon at someone and it will home in on them and pierce them like a sniper bullet.
• You can defeat anything and anyone with a pistol, or your bare hands.
• Anyone with superior firepower to you will often lack the training necessary to use it.
• Whenever you are exposed to radiation, the effects are never carcinogenic, and will result in a newfound superpower, rather than a newfound lump on your testicles.

If you are being chased, keys are inoperable and should not be used to open doors or start an ignition. It is also important to note, kicking or shoulder-charging a door is an infallible way to get through a locked door, and jamming any readily foreign object into an ignition switch will work just as well as the key.

A killer can be identified by the length of his stride which is equal to approximately 250% that of a normal stride. It is not necessary for a killer to run to keep up with a victim.

Secret agencies are very secretive. Unless you are about to die. Then all of their secrets will be dispensed to you in short order, along with what they are about to do shortly after your demise.

If a single bullet kills you, it went through your head or heart. A bullet wound anywhere else is non-terminal.

The impact of an explosion powerful enough to send a house splintering into the sky will not send any debris directly at you. Stand still and you're fine. Even if the detonation propels you away from the explosion, it will throw you further than most anything else. And you might get a little sooty, but you'll never burn.

Guns are loud as fuck when you're firing them, but they won't effect your hearing. You can still whisper your escape route to your partner crouching on the other side of the hallway 10 feet away.

Blood either spurts and pours out of your body like a river or spits a little and then stains.

- If the pizza man is strangely holding the pizza around his waist don't answer the door 😞

-You can see the Eifle tower form any window in France
-All homicide detectives are over the age of 50 and are on the brink of retirement.
-You can't drive down a straight highway with out frantically turning the steering wheel.
-Guns always jam when there is one bullet left and then fire just in the nick of time.
-All bad guys are foreign, usually british.
-All bad guys have white or blonde hair.

moocow wrote:-Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at that precise moment you turn the television on.

Some guns related ones:

- Guns are made of several loosely fitted metal pieces and will make a ton of noise with the slightest movement.

- Guns are only to be cocked when the handler want to use it as a threatening move when they are holding someone at gun point.

- Bullet will make sparks no matter what surfaces they are striking.

- Bullet have varying penetration capability depending on dramatic need. Car doors are most often impervious to bullets

- Powerful guns will blowback people several feet

- Shooting a car will make it explode. In fact all cars are essentially explosives just waiting for something to set them off.

~All dogs go to heaven and all cats go to h-ll, no matter what the sin, be it gambling, lying, murder, kidnapping, or even winding their own lifeclock and falling out of heaven. The only way for a dog to go to h-ll is to go to heaven, crush his wings and halo, call the cat devil on the phone, get him to let you out of heaven, and make a deal to help him and all the cat demons take over heaven. Then, and only then, will a dog be sent to h-ll. Cats will never be allowed into heaven under any circumstances.

Hey it's all I got 😃

- If someone has a goatee, then they're evil.
- The main villain will, without fail, fail to die the first time you kill them.
- Cigarettes aren't harmful to your health.
- The really bad villains will keep coming back again and again, no matter how often you think you've killed them.
- Doors are either unlocked, fragile or easily picked.
- The only thing that will really kill the hero is a poor box office taking.

-if you're going to play the hero, one family member must have died tragically
-while atomic bombs can threaten a city, shrapnel from a meteor or other celestial object may only cause minor injuries as it strikes you
-everything meat tastes like chicken. if not, it's been poisoned
-bullets come in many different colors, depending on the weapon that fires them

the most annoying ones:

- if you stab or shoot someone ONCE, they will immediately die. you don't have to aim perfectly at the heart or wait for them to bleed to death or get an infection. they'll just fall over.

- no one ever shits themselves or goes into death throes when they die. they just fall over.

Sorry, I always laugh about the stabbing/shooting/arrow shit. Oh no, I was stabbed once in a non-vital organ, time to DIE in 2 seconds. By falling over.

A killer can be identified by the length of his stride which is equal to approximately 250% that of a normal stride. It is not necessary for a killer to run to keep up with a victim.

^ I lol'd

-Sean Connery can never play a villian

-If your a main character of a disney movie , you parents automatically die when you are born

-The football star always falls in love with the ugly-made-pretty unpopular geek, due to some sort of bet.

-The stuck up snobby blonde always gets dumped at the end.

-Julia Roberts and Richard Gere are obviously made for each other.

-Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks are obviously made for each other.

- In Vietnam, machine guns can fire for 5 minutes without interruption. Ammo belts never run out.

- Bad guys always have a British accent.

- If a good guy (Bond) falls into a river or swimming pool then his clothes will instantly dry when he gets out of the water.

- Time bombs always have a LCD countdown display and can only be defused in the last few seconds.

- The laws of physics apply only to normal people. Not heroes.

- In a fight of more than 10 people against one, it's always the one that wins.

- You can easily jump from the ground onto the roof of a nearby house. But only if you shout 'aieee' or something at the time.