Here's another one for you guys to chew on.
In a podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."
At a proctologist's office:
"To expedite your visit, please back in."
On a plumber's truck:
"We repair what your husband fixed."
On another plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."
On a church billboard:
"Seven days without God makes one weak."
At a tire shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."
On an electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."
In a non-smoking area:
"If we see smoke, we will assume you are on fire and take appropriate action."
On a maternity room door:
"Push, Push, Push."
On a taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."
At an optometrist's office:
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."
At a car dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet —miss a car payment."
In a veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"
At the electric company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment. However, if you don't, you will be."
In a restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry. Come on in and get fed up."
In the front yard of a funeral home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a propane filling station:
"Thank heaven for little grills."