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Wife 1.0 (Got this as an E-mail, thought you guys might like it)

16 replies · 2,635 views · Started 22 November 2005

Brasel 22 Nov 2005, 04:02

Dear Tech Support:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0. I soon noticed
that the new program began unexpected child processing that took up a
lot of space and valuable resources. In addition, Wife 1.0 installed
itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system
activity. Applications such as Poker Night 10.3, Football 5.0, Hunting
and Fishing 7.5, and Racing 3.6 I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the
background while attempting to run my favorite applications. I'm
thinking about going back to Girlfriend 7.0, but the uninstall doesn't
work on Wife 1.0. Please help!

Thanks,
Troubled User.. (KEEP READING)

_____________________________________
REPLY:
Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that men complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 7.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is
just a Utilities and Entertainment program. Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING
SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!! It is also
impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 7.0. It is
impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once
installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 7.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed to not
allow this. Look in your Wife 1.0 manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child
Support. I recommend that you keep Wife 1.0 and work on improving the
situation. I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because
ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before the system
will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance.
Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean and Sweep
3.0, Cook It 1.5 and Do Bills 4.2.

However, be very careful how you use these programs. Improper use will
cause the system to launch the program Nag Nag 9.5. Once this happens,
the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase
additional software. I recommend Flowers 2.1 and Diamonds 5.0 !

WARNING!!! DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short
Skirt 3.3. This application is no t supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause
irreversible damage to the operating system

ONeilcool 22 Nov 2005, 04:11

is there any upgrades after Wife 1.0? and i heard there is a program to uninstall Wife 1.0 called Divorce 3.5 it works quite well

bigjoe 22 Nov 2005, 04:26

ONeilcool wrote:is there any upgrades after Wife 1.0? and i heard there is a program to uninstall Wife 1.0 called Divorce 3.5 it works quite well

Or , you can go with Murder 4.8. A lot cheaper than Divorce 3.5, just dont let the guys at the office know you're using it.

ONeilcool 22 Nov 2005, 04:28

ya but i heard murder 4.8 gives you a nasty Trojan Police virus and it can put you whole system on lockdown

*b* 22 Nov 2005, 06:55

Anthony wrote:I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to
alleviate software augmentation.

I just about wet my pants when I read that part. oh man, that's funny

Tygore 22 Nov 2005, 07:34

I heard that he Mormons came up with a way to partition the hard drive and get multiple copies running on one system. Sounds pretty neat.

(Apologies to Jigglysaint and any other Mormons who may stumble across this. Sorry, I couldn't resist.)

Darth Marsden 22 Nov 2005, 09:43

I hear that a bunch of people have somehow found a way to have several copies of Girlfriend 5.0 running on the same system as Wife 1.0. Something about 'Ghost Drives'. I wouldn't know, I'm perfectly content with Girlfriend 1.0.

(That is pretty hilarious, Anthony. Nice find.)

Prrkitty 22 Nov 2005, 17:30

There's many versions of this particular joke... but I have to admit - this was the funniest I've seen!

I really liked the "Yes Dear" upgrade 😉

😊 Thanks Tony!!

rocksfan13 22 Nov 2005, 18:17

Help! I have become victim to said OS. No other upgrades or programs seem to reset nag nag 9.5.

I am in desperate need of assistance! 😞 😊

Should I fdisk and repartition hard drive? :laughing:

Aegix Drakan 22 Nov 2005, 19:01

OH MY GOSH! ROFLMAO :rofl:

That was the funniest thing I have heard in a long while! You've just made my day Anthony! BTW, I really wasn't especting you to be running THAT OS Rocksfan!

Personally, I happen to be using a student type PC, and am using Lonewolf.exe 3.30 as my OS. There are a few copies of Female aquiantances 0.1 sitting on my PC though. Main program I am running is Gaming 10.9, which is only interruped occasionally by Parental controls 3.0.

(grins) I am so sending this to everyone I know.

[edit] Oh, i just remembered, if Said OS activates the "make life a living nightmare" virus, (possibly because you installed "secretary with short skirt 3.0) it might be a good Idea to use the oldest program that has been sitting on your computer all these years: "sneak off when nobody's looking and leave the country 1.0". the life corporation holds no responsibility for anything bad that happens when said program is activated. Side effect may include the activation of: "Angry wife with frying pan 2.10" Use at your own risk!

Archibaldo 22 Nov 2005, 19:16

The only problem with Wife 1.0 is that it eventually self installs Kids 6.3 which in turn upgrade to Rebellious Teenager 4.9 and fries your hard drive.

AlexMax 28 Nov 2005, 13:56

Remember kids, upgrading to Wife 1.0 requires that you split your system resources with her 50%, which she takes with her in the event of uninstallation.

Choose wisely.

rocksfan13 03 Feb 2006, 18:39

Unless your PC came preloaded with prenump 4.2 on it. Then you can just start over with girlfriend 1.0 without losing performance.

BTW. My OS is still stuck in the nag nag 9.0 loop!

:scared: