This is one of the most difficult things I've ever had to write. I have betrayed my real friends to find the favor of those who I had thought were my friends, and had been betrayed by the same. Waking nightmare does not even begin to approach what has been going on in my head for the past week or two. Not a day nor night has passed, that I have not thought about all of the recent incidents at HaB. Not a day nor night has passed, that I have not wanted to craft this heartfelt public apology. Not a day nor night has passed, ... that I have not re-analyzed the meaning of "taking the internet too seriously," as I have hurt real people, internet or not.
For the past months, I have been associating myself with Glenn the great. I had been speaking with him, and listening to his plans to harrass AGN. I had been sitting right there next to him, thinking of him as a brilliant and misunderstood person with a talent for programming and web development, despite the warnings of an entire community. I should have realized that that was my first mistake; to disregard the labelling of the entirety of AGN and more to Glenn. It is my own fault that I am far too trusting and docile an individual to regard the warnings of an entire community regarding this person. I was a fool to have been by his side. We should all learn to know who our true friends are. Trust is a crucial element in the lives of every man and woman on this Earth. Without the proper use and orientation of this truth, we are no better than I was in the recent month. I am only glad that I was able to sever all ties with the fiend. I will not willingly subject myself or anyone I know to his foolish whims ever again. I am happy to have left all that behind. I am still at fault for my wrongdoings though. Nothing that I say can change that.
...
And now, I have one person in particular who I must apologize to. I know that no apology I can make can truly restore whatever respect you had once had for me, Breaker, and I understand that; but I still wish to make amends for what I have done, as I wouldn't be able to stand not doing so. I regret my actions more than I can tell you all. Although it had gone against my better judgement, I had done it anyway, and am thoroughly shocked and ashamed of myself for it. The things I had done, ... unthinkable to men with intact logic and reason. There is no real reason to have done what I had done, and I am still trying to figure out what the purpose of such a thing was. "Stupid" comes to mind in droves, followed by "Pointless."
Although I am glad to have severed my ties with Glenn and his forum, I still must make amends for my actions toward Breaker, and I am more than willing to do anything it takes to restore everything to its state before my period of time spent with Glenn. Again, there is no logical reason for anyone to do anything drastic (or even lesser so) toward this person. Breaker does nothing but reinforce AGN's infrastructure, add content to the site, ensure its safety and stability, and create a gathering point for community activity. For that, we should all be immensely grateful for his company. Cursed be those who should ever doubt such a thing; and cursed be to myself for doubting it for however long.
I must also apologize for the creation of a puppet "Breaker" acount that had been made. I suppose it was a creation of boredom and a certain perverted creativity rather than malice, but it was a mockery nevertheless. Even worse, I had done Breaker a great disservice by posting his private FTP information. Such a thing is unthinkable. I doubt I could come up with a proper apology for that if I tried. I'm sure I'll think of a way. I can't let a thing like that go. I'd be surprised if Breaker did.
... Now, there's something about having time to think about your actions, desires, and thoughts, that really puts things into perspective. I am so glad to have had this opportunity to make (at least partial) amends for my deeds, as it really shows you just what you are fighting to keep. I have loved AGN since I had joined. There are so many wonderful people to converse with, to share ideas with, ... so much to do, so much to see; the Think Tank, the lively discussions in GD, ... Zelda Classic, ... I could never imagine having never been a part of it all. To compromise all of that is such a strange thought, that to think I could have done something that even I can't believe what I have done.
With that said, I can only hope that you will all sense my sincerity, and look upon me favorably despite the unconscienable wrongs I have committed against the AGN that we all know and love. Please know that if I had truly desired to commit those wrongs, I would not be here apologizing for those actions. I would far rather be burned alive than to betray your trust again.
Thank you all for your time, it is greatly appreciated. Best wishes to you all.
[center]Subtract from my reputation
Go on. You know you want to. I deserve it.[/center]