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How to watch LotR: Return of the King

11 replies · 3,585 views · Started 21 November 2003

Ganonator 21 Nov 2003, 01:14

For those of you planning on seeing the third LOTR movie at the theater her are some survival tips.
1. Stand up halfway through the movie and yell loudly, "Wait... where the hell is Harry Potter?"
2. Block the entrance to the theater while screaming: "YOU SHALL NOT PASS!" - After the movie, say "Lucas could have done it better."
3. At some point during the movie, stand up and shout: "I must go! Middle Earth needs me!" and run and try to jump into the screen. After bouncing off, return quietly to your seat.
4. Play a drinking game where you have to take a sip every time someone says: "The Ring."
5. Point and laugh whenever someone dies.
6. Ask the nearest ring-nut if he thinks Gandalf went to Hogwarts
7. Finish off every one of Elrond's lines with "Mr. Anderson."
8. When Aragorn is crowned king, stand up and at the top of your lungs sing, "And I did it.... MY way...!"
9. At the end, complain that Gollum was offensive to Ethiopians
10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.
12. Dress up as old ladies and reenact "The Battle of Helms Deep" Monty Python style.
13. When Denethor lights the fire, shout "Barbecue!"
14. Ask people around you who they think is the next "Terminator" sent from the Middle Earth of the future to assassinate Frodo Baggins
15. In TTT when the Ents decide to march to war, stand up and shout "RUN FOREST, RUN!"
16. Every time someone kills an Orc, yell: "That's what I'm Tolkien about!" See how long it takes before you get kicked out of the theatre.
17. During a wide shot of a battle, inquire, "Where's Waldo?"
18. Talk loudly about how you heard that there is a single frame of a nude Elf hidden somewhere in the movie.
19. Start an Orc sing-a-long.
20. Come to the premiere dressed as Frankenfurter and wander around looking terribly confused.

Now who's ready for some hobbit action? :naughty:

theplustwo 21 Nov 2003, 01:19

Originally posted by Ganonator
11. When Shelob appears, pinch the guy in front of you on the back of the neck.

Ha ha! That's what I'm Tolkien about!

Lilith 21 Nov 2003, 01:31

LOL, that's great...my friend Lauren and I talked like Gollum for the whole second movie, and whispered "in bed" after anything Frodo and Sam said to each other...and made "oh god yes" faces anytime Aragorn or Legolas did something cool.

Dechipher 21 Nov 2003, 02:02

I doubt he came up with these. These are usually not a single persons, but a collaboration.

I like 14, 15, and 17 the best.

ShadowTiger 21 Nov 2003, 03:17

10. Talk like Gollum all through the movie. At the end, bite off someone's finger and fall down the stairs.
:rofl: I think I'm gonna try this. 😉 .. seems so random. 🙄

Rainman 21 Nov 2003, 04:02

Originally posted by Britannianhero4
:rofl: I think I'm gonna try this. 😉 .. seems so random. 🙄

Actually it's not. That's the point. Have you read the book? :eyebrow:

Zaggarum 21 Nov 2003, 04:13

God these are funny. Reminds me of my best friend yelling out during Star Wars Episode II and say "GO YODA as he fought Dooku. That was humiliating 😱 Think about it. the entire audiace looks up at you and gives looks like this :eyebrow:. Had nightmares for weeks.

Ganonator 21 Nov 2003, 05:18

Originally posted by Kirby of Doom
Did [you] come up with these?

Unfortunatly not. I guess it was my rebuttal (yes, Atma, I learned something today :tongue: ) for all of the happy Prrkitty jokes we get everyday.

J.J. Maxx 21 Nov 2003, 14:26

21. Every time Frodo and Sam come to any type of chasm yell, 'JUST HOPP-IT!' really loud and sit down, take off your shoes and begin sniffing them extremely loudly.

:thumbsup: