I'm my brothers Best man for his wedding on Saturday. I wrote up my toast for the reception. Let me know what you think.
First of all, I want to thank everyone for coming today, to celebrate Jeremy and Amy’s love for each other. I want to thank Amy’s parents, Jeremy and I’s parents, the groomsmen and bridesmaids, and everyone else who helped put together this special day.
I should probably introduce myself. I am Jordan, Jeremy’s youngest brother and his best man. I was a bit surprised when Jeremy asked me to be his best man, but once I heard that all his friends had skipped the country, I quickly figured it out.
So far I think I’m going pretty good at this “best man” thing. I got the groom to the church, on time and sober, and only lost the rings for a couple hours. And now, I have to make a fool out of myself by making a toast. So far I seem to be doing a good job at that as well.
Before I start the traditional character assassination of the groom, I think we all agree that Amy looks absolutely gorgeous. Jeremy…boy did you get lucky. You found someone who’s beautiful, funny, charming, caring and loving. And Amy, you found someone who’s…who’s…you found Jeremy. Who said marriage was a partnership of equals anyways.
Jeremy was born July 20th, 1973 in Mount Vernon Ohio. A day forever known at Knox Community Hospital as “Monkey Birth Friday”.
Jeremy started out a bit slow. When he was 2, he made the common misconception of mistaking a sandbox for a swimming pool, then getting naked and trying to backstroke through it.
He’s has always been a businessman. He knows just how to treat the competition. When our sister Jill arrived, he took the initiative of biting her forehead. This began a long trail of “accidents” that continue to this day.
Eventually, our young hero aged into a teenager. In which, Jeremy had a great impact upon Justin’s and my life. By observing Jeremy during this time, we were able to avoid some truly terrible haircuts down the road.
During high school, Jeremy was a member of the basketball team, and of the marching band. He played poorly in both.
After turning down generous offers from Harvard and Yale, our prodigy choose to attended the other beacon of education…Ohio University. Though his school record claim he attended 4 years, he still only remembers about 6 months of it.
Then, finally, one day, finally, he met Amy. And boy, did she whip him into shape. Honestly, Jeremy now knows what a kitchen is, and learned that showering gets rid of that “funky smell” that’s been following him around for the past 10 years.
And now for the serious note. I spent a long time going through love poem books, trying to find the words to describe Jeremy and Amy’s love. But I never found anything that fit. And…I know why. What Jeremy and Amy have can’t be put into words. And that’s what makes it so special. Love can’t be seen, or heard, or even defined. It just is. And, love is the greatest gift that you could ever give each other.
And now, here you are. Married. So, Jeremy, I’ll give you best piece of advice I know. “Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, but snore and you sleep alone.”
So now, if you all will join me in a toast. To Jeremy and Amy, may your happiness last forever.