I was just taking a stroll down memory lane this evening and came across one of my finest moments circa 5 years ago when I came up with the concept of an AGN Variety Show simply titled "AGNerds".
The premise was to have the most prominent AGN members performing ridiculous adventures in front of a live studio audience.
A script for the first episode was written and posted in this topic: http://armageddongames.net/showthrea...around-bitches
...with the posts of interest being:
Part 1: http://armageddongames.net/showthrea...l=1#post774610
Part 2: http://armageddongames.net/showthrea...l=1#post775273
Part 3: http://armageddongames.net/showthrea...l=1#post775388
I had some very well thought out ideas for the second episode (which were alluded to in the 3rd link), which never came to fruition either due to lack of time, being banned, or some combination of the two, I forget.
Anywho, I've had over 5 years to flesh the ideas out and so I'd really like to get the ball rolling again.
For those of you who may have missed it......
Announcer: Grab a snack and don't change that dial! Up next we're re-airing the pilot episode of.......
"AGNerds"!!!!!!
-The opening starts to play, with some cheesy radical surfer style music, lots of crazy camera action, featuring various AGNerd antics. This goes on for a little while, until you hear a record rapping noise as the music cuts.
-War Lord steps onto the scene in full wigger garb, backwards hat, and microphone. The camera zooms out a bit to accomodate him.
-Gangsta rap music starts playing as he starts to rap about caps and cops as Moocow dances, and Goat is in the background squatting and crossing his arms, over and over again.
-Someone in the audience starts to boo.
-The music cuts, and the camera changes to the back of the audience, where we see Lightningz standing up in his seat saying....
Lightningz: u suk, worlord! be quite
-We see Breaker, dressed in a red Power Ranger outfit, walk up, grab Lightningz, and then drag him off the set.
*****Camera goes back to War Lord.*******
War Lord: Alright homies, it's time to do this.
-Goat nods.
War Lord: We're about to have 2007's AGN Convention! We've finally sold enough Premium Memberships to rent out the Ohio State Fairgrounds for a whole day!
War Lord: What do you niggas think?
-The audience cheers and hollars.
War Lord: Everything is going to be there. Can you say Poker? Can you say Beer? Can you say Wii?
-Audience cheers.
War Lord: Well, to be specific, we really only raised enough to pay my way. Unfortunately, you all will have to pay your own way in. But we'll have a lot of fun! Come on!
-War Lord waves his arm in a "come here" motion.
******* Transition to Ohio State Fair ***********
-It's a bright, sunny day outdoors at the Ohio State Fairgrounds. We see a line of AGNerds at the toll booth, handing over large wads of cash, getting their hands stamped, and walking into the park, where they all start to congregate on the grass in a nearby open area.
-In this scene, we can see War Lord, Goat, Glitch, Biggiy, Moocow, Goki, Ganonator, Archibaldo, Master Ghaleon, Cyberkitten, Dechipher, MrCow, AMaster, and Daarkseid. Some of them are playing together on their Nintendo DSs.
War Lord: Good to see most of my bitches are here! We just need 3 more people, and we'll have enough people to attempt to set a new record for piling people into my ride!
Biggiy: Who are we missing?
Glitch: Starkist is still supposed to get here.
War Lord: Damn, we're still going to need two more....
-Starkist is seen walking onto the scene, holding hands with two unknown males who appear to be in their late teens.
Goki: G'day mate! Who's with ya?
Starkist: Hope you don't mind me bringing along my two new boyfriends. Meet Harvey..... and Talyn.
AMaster: They're gay! Ewwwwwww!
-Ganonator walks over to AMaster, kicks him, grabs his nipple, and twists. AMaster cries out in pain.
********** Transition to a rickety fence in an overgrown area on the outskirts of the fairgrounds **********
-Here we see Lightningz and ZeldaFan500 creeping up to the fence. They are both holding PDAs.
Lightningz: k, were here
ZeldaFan: What r we doing again?
Lightningz: get reveng on AGN for baning us
ZeldaFan: What r we going to do?
Lightningz: sneek in convenshun. they got zc source on disk in clubhose. u spy on worlord. and frends. pda has internet. send pm on agn forms when coast cleer. i chek, go in cubhouse, taik source
ZeldaFan: i sure hope u know what ur doing......
********* Transition to War Lord's car **********
-War Lord's lowrider is packed with people. Everyone but Dechipher is packed in the car.
War Lord: Almost there! One more for a new record! We can do it, bitches. Squeeze in Dech!
-Dechipher examines a few doors, trying to find a place to squeeze in. He places a foot inbetween Ganonator and AMaster, and tries to force his way in.
-Hacking and coughing is heard from somewhere inside the car.
Daarkseid: Can't.......breathe...... asthma....... attt......
Glitch: Ghaleon, I told you not to eat those Carnival Beans!
-Ghaleon is seen with a doleful look on his face.
Moocow: He'll die!
War Lord: Alright niggas, out of my wheels, fast....
-The car shakes, and shakes, and no one can get out. They are stuck.
******** Transition to a treetop. The car is seen a few dozen yards away. **********
-ZeldaFan is in the treetops with binoculars. He grabs his PDA and starts typing a private message on AGN.
ZeldaFan>>>>> War Lord and all his friends are stuck in their car. They can't get out. You have time. Move.
Lightningz>>>>>> shur? how u knwo?
ZeldaFan>>>>>>>> I'm hiding up in a tree just a few hundred feet from War Lord's car.
Lightningz>>>>>> u bee seen?
ZeldaFan>>>>>> No, it's a good tree. Biggest one at the park. Lots of branches. Good for hiding.
Lightningz>>>>>>>> i taik source. keep lookowt
*********** Transition to AGN Clubhouse **********
-Lightningz is seen sneaking very stealthily into the clubhouse. It has a big banner colored in markers that says "AGN Convention 2007". He looks around, and finds a desk. He opens the drawers and starts fumbling around.
Lightningz: Ahahaaaaaa!!
-Lightningz pulls out a CD ROM labeled Zelda Classic v 2.4 Source (Win/Linux). He places it on the desk, and pulls out his PDA.
Lightningz >>>>>>> i find source. we leeve.
<submit>
-Lightningz stares at his PDA for a few moments
Lightninz: dam slow servur. i gonna offur worlord hosting. i got 200 survers. fiber optik
-Lightningz stares at it a bit longer.
-Footsteps are heard
Lightning: fastr... fast....
-Here we see Breaker stride quickly into the room in his red power ranger outfit. He walks without hesitation towards Lightningz.
-Lightningz turns, cries out, and starts to run, but stumbles a bit.
-Breaker is too fast. He reaches out, grabs Lightningz by the back of his coat, easily lifts him off the ground, and carries him out of the clubhouse.
-Lightningz is wailing and thrashing his legs, struggling to no avail to break free.
-Breaker pulls out a pair of handcuffs, shoves Lightningz on the ground, steps on his neck, and cuffs his hands together as Lightningz squirms on the ground, his yelps muffled in the dirt.
-Breaker then proceeds to carry Lightningz off the screen like he's carrying a bag of trash.
*********** Cut to the large open area from the beginning of the fair scene ****************
-We see that all the AGNerds are gathered around a cattle cart that is now parked in the grass, hooked up to the back of War Lord's car. ZeldaFan is already in it, locked inside.
-Breaker opens the cart. ZeldaFan tries to dash out, Breaker kicks him back in, and throws Lightningz on top of him, quickly slamming the door shut and relocking it.
Lightningz: u got cot too?
-ZeldaFan's lip is trembling.
War Lord: They thought they could steal the source. We've called the FBI, and they'll be here any minute now.
Lightningz: how u know my plan? it too good to be fail.
-A loud swoosh is heard, along with a familiar tune from Zelda: Wind Waker.
-Dark Nation flies onto the scene riding a magical flying carpet.
Dark Nation: I think I can answer that!
AMaster: DARK NATION!!!!!!!
-AMaster drops to the ground and bows, as most of the AGNerds kneel in respect.
Dark Nation: *chuckle* *chuckle* They shouldn't have been so foolish as to be discussing their plans on AGN's Private Message system. I just recently coded a hack with my l33t programming skills allowing me to read all AGN members' private messages.
Dark Nation: Let that be a lesson to you all. Never say anything in PM that you don't want the whole world knowing, or at least the Admins!
-Everyone has a look of awe on their face.
Dark Nation: And with that being said, I am off. Much work to do, many custom enemies to code!
Dark Nation: Squaddalah!!!
-With Dark Nation's command, the carpet takes off into their air, and sails out of sight, once again with a whoosh, and a familiar Wind Waker tune.
-Ooohs and aaahs are heard from the crowd.
Glitch: Time to punish these fuckers.
********* Camera cuts to Master Ghaleon, as he mouths down a spoonful of beans ********
-We see ZeldaFan and Lightningz, tied to the ground, as Master Ghaleon squats down right above their faces and smiles.
********** Freeze Frame ********
-Directed by Glenn the Great
********** Roll Credits ********
********** Audience Applauding as Credits Roll *********
***** (c) Glenn Corps. 2007
Reply With Quote
