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Thread: I don't believe the 18th century actually happened

  1. #1
    Patra Beldaran's Avatar
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    I don't believe the 18th century actually happened

    I hate to get political, but for years I’ve become increasingly convinced of a global conspiracy. I’m being completely honest here, but after years of research and journaling and anguished thought, I’ve decided to start speaking out.


    I don’t believe the 18th century actually happened.


    I have come to realize that in the late 1600’s, the merchant princes and bankers were part of a secret society of ultra-wealthy conspirators who deeply resented their subservience to royalty and other institutions of the state, and they put together a daring plan to take over the world. It was the last time in history, before the explosion of science and communication technology, that there would be such a perfect confluence of printed media tightly controlled by big companies, widespread illiteracy, concentrated centers of education, draconian debtor laws, and extremely common premature death that they could wipe the slate clean on history, and educate a new generation of unquestioning children with the doctrine that it was suddenly the 1800’s.


    I have come to the terrifying conclusion that all of the history from the years 1700 – 1800 was cobbled together by a secret society of highly ambitious, maniacal rich people. They controlled enough royal debt, all the printing presses, bought off an already hilariously corrupt church (installing a new Pope in the process, loyal to the bankers), ran the entire world through a brutal system of colonies, and ruled over a highly illiterate population which received any information from the big printing presses this secret society ultimately controlled.


    Their objective was to create a nation ruled by businessmen. Through propaganda, threats, bribes, murder, and the tightly controlled printing of books, they convinced people in the year 1700 that it was actually the year 1800, that thirteen colonies of the British Empire, controlled primarily by wealthy bankers and landowners, had somehow won a war against the most terrifying military power on the globe and established a country where there were no kings, no popes, no caliphates, and no historical culture except the one they invented in the so-called history books they printed and delivered to schoolhouses across the globe.


    I can’t put it any other way, my friends, but I’m willing to stand up and be the lone voice in a world controlled by the stifling influence of this relentless conspiracy. The 18th century did not happen! It was all a hoax. The men in charge of this conspiracy knew that they stood upon the precipice of a disaster. They knew that in only a few short years, there would be cameras and newspapers and telegraphs and phones and smaller, more affordable printing presses. They knew that questioning history would become impossible in only a few short decades. They knew that as lifespans increased, it would be more and more difficult to explain away the death of a 35 year old lawyer who refused to go along with their schemes. They knew the colonial system was on the verge of collapse, so they would be unable to force the native populations of the globe to modify their calendars. The enslavement of Africans couldn’t last much longer, so it was their last chance to dictate unto the helpless and the uneducated what year it really was!


    So they burned a few barns, fired some muskets into a few neighborhoods, played a theater of war between a handful of a farmers and a few squadrons of Royal British marines who were all soon to be bribed off to paradises in the Indian colonies, and they rewrote history.
    The divine right of kings was supplanted by the divine right of money, and now the colossus stands astride our globe! The glass towers of the secret kings of the Earth glitter in the sun, the shining, polluting, all-consuming legacy of wealth created by the most brilliant scam in history.
    I will be writing more about this in the future. I am passionate about history, and passionate about the truth. I know that by posting this, my life will be in danger. I know that I may disappear at any moment because of these bold words, and when I do, you will know why! They won’t be able to tolerate my dissenting voice for long, but before they get me, I must cry out in the wilderness; I must cry out that we have been fooled and robbed of one hundred years of history by the maniacal money men of the past. These snakes, these merchant princes, bankers, and ultra-elite hucksters of modern history… they have corrupted history itself by completely splicing their existence into a timeline which is now poisoned.
    People of Earth, I have hard words for you to hear. You must know the truth!

    And the TRUTH is that right now, it is the year 1915!

    The truth shall set us free!


    More on this to come, as I compile my research and bring this to light as best I am able, before I am silenced by Adam Smith’s “invisible hand”.
    I will be posting updates on my website at http://www.magnusvonblack.com. Thank you.

  2. #2
    Username Kaiser SUCCESSOR's Avatar
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    If this is satire of radical leftism it is gold. Considering the OP I am going ahead and assuming he has gone from passionately misguided to batshit crazy.

  3. #3
    The Time-Loop Continues ZC Developer
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    At first I didn't know what to think about it, so I had to ask someone else what I should think. After seeing various sources like the media and internet are backing it up I am now totally convinced.

    If you will excuse me, I have to go set my clocks back 100 years now.
    This post contains the official Gleeok seal of approval. Look for these and other posts in an area near you.

  4. #4
    A Cryptic Wizard TheDarkOne's Avatar
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    The year is nothing but a number. The measurement of time is a man-made concept, and whose idea was it to start numbering the years, anyway?
    Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons, for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.

  5. #5
    Here lies mero. Died by his own dumbassitude.
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    @Beldaran

    Looks like lik i nee to update the matrix repository then. You hav shown undeniable proof.

    Salutes fellow subroutine and welcom to the crazy club. Here is your membership card.

  6. #6
    Patra Beldaran's Avatar
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    68 comments, everyone hates me! =)

    https://www.reddit.com/r/conspiracy/...tury_happened/

  7. #7
    How many licks to get to the center Chris Miller's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Beldaran View Post
    I bestow upon you the title of Mr. Burns.

    Download Lands of Serenity today! You will be knocked comatose by its sheer awesomeness.
    The Titan's Quest, best played in the bathroom as the excitement can be somewhat...overwhelming.





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  8. #8
    Quest Builder Anarchy_Balsac's Avatar
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    You should have said 10th Century. Europe was still crawling out of the Dark Ages circa 900, and Asia was still in a perpetual state of war. Then there's South America, which was still doing the whole Human Sacrifice thing................................You could have done a lot more with that.

  9. #9
    Username Kaiser SUCCESSOR's Avatar
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    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Phantom_time_hypothesis

    OMG this is legit crazy! I guess I shouldn't be surprised.

  10. #10
    Here lies mero. Died by his own dumbassitude.
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    Everyon put on a tinfoil ha before reading the above. You might be brainwashed by aliens.

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