I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but they are triple the price.

I wish I didn't dislke habanero peppers (it's not the spiciness, it's the actual taste)

[mrz84]

Granted, you now love them, but they taste like ass.

I wish for spamware, computer viruses and other similar computer problems to no longer exist.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, computers no longer exist.

I wish I could figure out how I'm on this nonexistent computer.

[mrz84]

Granted,, because I went on an epic quest to return computers to existence. The final price I had to pay is that all knowledge of it occuring was erased from everyone's memories except for mine.

I wish for a burrito.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's worse than the kind you get from 7-Eleven.

I wish I could have free food (anything I want) for the next year.

[mrz84]

Granted, its literal poop. And the only one that qualifies for the free food.

I wish that humanity wasn't a bunch of jerks.

[TheDarkOne]

I said "anything I want." So any food would qualify.

Granted, now they're murderous psychopaths and they all are targeting you.

I wish you had read my last wish fore carefully.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but since you said "fore" instead of "more," he can do so at the front end of a boar.

I wish you'd be more careful aboat spelling.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, as soon as you do the same, Miss "front end of a boar."

I wish the grammar police would knock it the you-know-what off.

[mrz84]

Granted, in their place is the Fashion Police.

I wish for a better postal service.