Funny story. My sister just visited some place in Virginia (somewhere near the beach) and she was all freaked out and scared by the fact that almost everybody she saw was severely overweight or obese. Apparently deep fried foods and fast food culture over there is the way of life. Tax dollars well spent.
You got a Papa Murphy's near you? If you get an XL you should be able to make at least 4 calzones from it.