Oh man, I just had... well, a series of really weird dreams, but I also had a semi-normal dream where for some reason I found myself having to take care of a baby. Nothing too horrible, it wasn't like, "OMG there's this crying thing and I have no idea how to take care of it," because after all, growing up the oldest of eight, whether you want to or not, you inevitably end up learning at least a thing or two about taking care of babies. I will say, though, calll me a cynic, but I remember in my dream thinking, "Geez, it's gonna be forever before this thing learns how to talk." I woke up thankful I didn't have to change any diapers or anything, but it made me think of something that I guess had kinda been in the back of my mind for a while - that, as a guy, I basically get a free pass on the whole "baby-shaming" issue, as I think I'll call it. What I mean is, and I've seen this firsthand, is how women are basically expected to start having children at some point, and women who choose not to have children are practically harassed by society for making the wrong choice. It's not always taken from a negative angle, in fact, people who do it often think they're being quite positive, but it's still there.

It's just like, it seems like all women are expected to have children, and women who don't have children may not be exactly straight out told that they're wrong, but certainly there seems to be the implication. As in, a woman without children may be asked when she plans to have kids, rather than if. Or, if she expresses a desire to not have children, "Oh just wait, you'll change your mind!" And just in general, there seems to be this whole notion that a woman's life is pointless and empty unless she chooses to have children. At the same time, though, there doesn't seem to be that kind of pressure on men. I've never had anyone tell me I'm wrong for not wanting children, and no other guys I've known have been subject to that pressure. Which actually, that seems kind of odd to me - having a baby is a two-person process, generally speaking. If it were really about how babies are so great, you'd expect men and women to be pressured equally, but to me, that almost kind of proves that it's more about putting women in their place (yeah, I know it's mostly women who do this kind of thing, but that doesn't change the fact - it's still someone else deciding for you based on your gender what your role in society should be ).

Anyway, just wanted to rant, because this has been on my mind for a while, and it really irks me, and that dream just kinda reminded me of the whole issue.