...well, that was the worst nights sleep I've had in ages, but an audience awaits...

[Darth is running through the town, avoiding old people as he does. Suddenly, the alarm goes up - he's been spotted! He ducks into an alley and wonders how they saw him. Then he looks down - he's wearing a blue 'dragon' shirt. Cursing his luck, he climbs up the fire escape and makes for the roof as several elderly guards find him. They try to climb up the fire escape as well, but fail miserably. One falls down and creams about needing another hip replacement, while another has a heart attack. Darth watches with a smile, then jumps to the next roof. He's lost them.]

[CUT TO the drive-in. Everyone in the encampment is asleep now, except for Beldaran, who's talking to his Grandad on the other side of the fence.]

Beldaran: Jesus Christ Grandad, look at this! It's WW2 all over again!
Grandad: Don't you lecture me about WW2, Billy! I killed more Japs than you've killed them whatsit zombie thingies on your computermabobs!
Beldaran: Well actually, that's pretty unlikely. I've played a lot of zombie games. But look, this has gone way too far! You seriously need to stop this now!
Grandad: Or what? What are you gonna do, Billy? Cry about it? Complain? You can't stop us, Billy-boy! No-one can!

[Beldaran's Grandad turns and leaves. Very slowly. Beldaran just rolls his eyes and sits down on the ground against the fence. He mumbles something about Dead Rising being a good game and settles down to sleep.

CUT TO rooftop. Darth is looking over the town with a futuristic pair of binoculars (even though they're actually from the past) when he spots something. Zoom in to his view - it's a Country Kitchen Buffet. Back to Darth - he's got an idea, but before he can take it any further, he hears something behind him. He turns round and sees AtmaWeapon pointing a gun at him]

AtmaWeapon: Don't move!

[Darth holds out his hand and the gun flies from AtmaWeapon. He catches it, unloads the clip, shoots the round in the chamber into the air and then tosses the gun back to AtmaWeapon.]

AtmaWeapon: Oh, hey Darth.
Darth: Hey. What are you doing up here?
AtmaWeapon: [Moves next to Darth] Evading the old guys. You know LightningZ tried to take them on by himself?
Darth: Really? How'd that work out?
AtmaWeapon: Ah, he charged in screaming about his 'l33t hakzor skillz' and stuff, but they shot him down before he even got close.
Darth: Sounds familiar. Did that stop him?
AtmaWeapon: Nope. Did it again half an hour later. Same thing happened again.
Darth: Heh. Bloody script kiddies. ...actually, we could use that.
AtmaWeapon: What, seriously? You are joking, right? LightningZ actually being useful?
Darth: Well, I've got an idea. Lemme show you. The old people have blockades here [He points to the south side of town, where a wall has been erected] and here He points to the west side, another wall]. The old ladies are keeping watch in towers around the perimeter, and the leaders along with Beldaran's Grandfather are most likely in the Mayor's office. Right?
AtmaWeapon: Yeah, sounds about right.
Darth: Now loath as I am to admit it, there's too many of them for me to go on another killing spree without at least getting blood on my shirt, which I really don't wanna do becasue I love this shirt. So our only solution is to cut off their life force.
AtmaWeapon: And how do we do that?
Darth: Simple. I sneak into town and shut down their food supply. [He points to one particular building and hands the binoculars over to AtmaWeapon, who looks through them.]
AtmaWeapon: Country Kitchen Buffet?
Darth: Yep. You take that place out, and old people won't know what to do.
AtmaWeapon: That's quite possibly the stupidest thing I've heard you say since 'I didn't like The Godfather'.
Darth: What? I honestly didn't care for it!
AtmaWeapon: How can you say that? It's a perfect movie!
Darth: That's what everyone always says, but I just can't...
AtmaWeapon: Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino... You never see - Robert Duvall, for Christ's sake!
Darth: I know, I know. Fine actors, I just did not like the movie.
AtmaWeapon: Well... why not?
Darth: Hmm?
AtmaWeapon: Why didn't you like it?
Darth: I just couldn't get into it.
AtmaWeapon: Ok, you gotta explain that. Why couldn't you get into it?
Darth: [Slight Pause]...it insists upon itself.
AtmaWeapon: What! It has a valid point to make! It's insistant by its very nature!
Darth: It... it takes forever getting in, you spend like six hours, and then... I just can't finish it. Never even seen the ending.
AtmaWeapon: You've never seen the ending?
Darth: Never seen the ending.
AtmaWeapon: Well how the hell can you say you didn't like it if you haven't even given it a chance?
Darth: Look, I have tried on THREE occasions. I get to the scene where the guys are in the easy chairs...
AtmaWeapon: I know the one, great scene.
Darth: It's not a great... I have absolutely no idea what they're saying! It's like they're speaking a whole different language! THAT'S where I zone out - I just completely loose interest at that point.
AtmaWeapon: They're speaking Italian! It's a language of subtlety, for the love of God!
Darth: I love Steven Seagal films. That is my answer to that statement.
AtmaWeapon: [Beat] Yeah, I like him too.

[The two are silent for a minute. After a while, Darth takes back the binoculars and scans the town again. He finds what he's looking for and turns back to AtmaWeapon.]

Darth: Ok. Looks like LightningZ is gearing up for another attack. Here's the plan. While the script kiddie is busy being blasted away by the old folks, we'll sneak into town. Since they'll all be distracted, it shouldn't be a big problem, but it'll probably be a good idea if we stick to the rooftops as much as possible.
AtmaWeapon: Yeah, that's pretty sensible.
Darth: While everyone's focused on the little brat being blown away, we need to sneak into the Mayor's office and steal some of the explosives the old people have stashed. Once we have them, we head for Country Kitchen Buffet and blow it up.
AtmaWeapon: ...or we could just lock it up from the inside.

[Darth looks straight at him. If looks could kill, there'd be nothing but a bloody carcass on the floor.]

AtmaWeapon: Fine, we'll blow it up. What is it with you and random destruction, anyway?
Darth: For the love of God, I'm a freakin' Sith Lord! Hopeless!

...I'm gonna grab a shower. The story continues afterwards...