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Thread: Agn teach me....

  1. #1
    クールな男
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    MasterSwordUltima's Avatar
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    Agn teach me....

    So a month after my wedding, my darling wife calls me up because she's not feeling well. I come home to a great big smile on her face, telling me she's pregnant. I'm gonna be a dad, AGN, holy shit.

    So give me advice guys. I need to know all the tips and tricks!

    -----

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    Sir Anthony Brasel's Avatar
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    Congrats man. That's exciting. I don't have anything to add because I don't have kids.
    Talga Vassternich -- Deserve Victory

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    birb Tim's Avatar
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    Congrats! Make sure to drink plenty of rich chocolaty Ovaltine!

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    Its your boi, Guzma! mrz84's Avatar
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    Grats MSU!

    In semi-related news, one of my younger brothers is also gonna be a father (making me an uncle, I found out recently and haven't gotten around to making a thread yet...at least I don't remember mentioning it yet here...)
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    Username Kaiser SUCCESSOR's Avatar
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    Push her down some stairs.

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    The Artist Once Known As Old-Skool QDB Manager
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    Don't spend so much time earning money for them that that's all you are to your child. Revel in what you have created, love them, and they will turn out great.

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    Username Kaiser SUCCESSOR's Avatar
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    OH! So, not those kind of suggestions...

    Beat them and beat them often!

    Just kidding. Nothing is going to prepare you. Just look into what you should expect to minimize surprises. Most of all what to expect during the delivery. Doctors are lazy and prejudice bastards who will try to push you into easy solutions that aren't often needed like C-Section. You may even consider having the birth outside of a hospital. My daughter was born at home(intentionally). Instead of spending 20-40hours (or more) at the hospital we spent them at home where it is comfortable and there is plenty of food!

    You can have sex all the way up until her water breaks. Don't let her tell you any different! Be supportive of her and loving and make sure she gets off her ass! Being big, lazy and pregnant might seems like a good idea to her in the third trimester or so but 10(or 20 as my ex knows)hours of active labor will make her regret it. And who gets blamed? The guy who knocked her up! It's a marathon. You gotta train for it. Mostly being the man in the pregnancy is all about being supportive and keeping it exciting instead of, "Oh shit WTF is happening!!!!"

    As for being a dad... You're going to be scared shitless. Once you start shitting again you'll still have no idea what your doing. Babies are easy. Just give them the love and attention and nourishment they need and learn to not cringe constantly at loud(very loud) crying and you'll be fine. And buy a shotgun. If it's a girl you'll need it and if it's a boy he'll want to play with it when they're older.

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    Wizrobe erm2003's Avatar
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    Congrats man! I am very excited for you!

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    Gibdo
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    Talk to your baby. Often. Even when they're very young and it doesn't seem like they register much other than needing to shit/piss or eat, what's really happening from their perspective is sensory overload. They're sucking that shit up immensely and it's your job to make sense of the world for her. Name things, have one-sided conversations with her, sing to her, and for god's sake please please read to her. It's a sad sad world when you can walk up to 20 strangers and have 15 of them tell you that they don't read for fun.
    "In a democracy, majority rules. The majority of people are stupid. You do the math."

  10. #10
    Keese
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    Quote Originally Posted by SUCCESSOR View Post
    You can have sex all the way up until her water breaks. Don't let her tell you any different! Be supportive of her and loving and make sure she gets off her ass! Being big, lazy and pregnant might seems like a good idea to her in the third trimester or so but 10(or 20 as my ex knows)hours of active labor will make her regret it. And who gets blamed? The guy who knocked her up! It's a marathon. You gotta train for it. Mostly being the man in the pregnancy is all about being supportive and keeping it exciting instead of, "Oh shit WTF is happening!!!!"

    Lol!! Well it depends on the woman and pregnancy. Babies are all different shapes and sizes and mom chemistry does all kinds of crazy stuff. Some girls exercise and function totally normally, or feel BETTER, others are sick as heck. Also, underlying medical problems (like thyroid problems) that may have been mild before can pop up, allergies can change, etc. That can be a good thing, since otherwise they wouldn't be diagnosed until later. Basically, sometimes hospital birth is totally unnecessary and can be really harmful to a natural pregnancy. Other times a woman may need lots of medical care. Not to scare you but one of my old friends died in childbirth a few months ago. Bad stuff still happens a lot, the point is to pay lots of attention to the individual pregnancy and do whatever you feel is best. Some labor lasts 3 hours, some lasts 3 days. Have her ask all the women in her family what their childbirth experience was like. In my family there's been a lot of quick labors, like 3-6 hours, so being aware of that will help me not have a highway baby lol. You should research a lot about childbirth, even if you plan on doing it at home, so you know if you have to go to the doctor and you also know what to yell to the doctor about if he's doing something wrong. I also worked in childbirth malpractice too so when I have kids I will def hospital it up, but I know exactly what to scream about if the doctor does something I don't like lol.

    The baby is going to keep you up at all hours for a few weeks, which you should prepare for, then after that you'll be fine, and you'll have a cute baby who does cute baby stuff. Congrats.

    And yeah read to your damn baby, even if they don't like reading in the end, it's a good basic parenting skill everyone should do.

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