I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

[mrz84]

Granted, but as a side effect you need to use the bathroom every 30 minutes.

I wish for a notebook.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's used and all the pages are completely covered on both sides with indelible ink.
(Or did you mean a notebook computer?)

I wish you were clearer about what kind of notebook you meant.

[PinkFairy]

Gramted, but he sends the clarification via e-mail and it goes to your span folder, and since you akwas empty it without even looking, you never see it.

I wish spring would come sooner.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it only lasts for a day amd goes straight into blazing hot summer.

[mrz84]

You didn't make a wish so you get nothing.

I wish for a tuna fish sandwich.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Granted, but instead of being poisoned like you probably expected, you go simply become paranoid about having been poisoned when you weren't, and end up in a mental institution.

I wish we could break the light barrier.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, bit then you have to glue it back together.

I wish people knew that exceeding the speed of light is prerequisite for getting a job as a Domino's delivery driver.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Granted, but then no one is around to deliver pizzas.

I wish orange juice tasted purple.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then purple juice tastes orange.

I wish someone hadn't named a fruit after a color.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Granted, but they name fruits after private parts instead.

I wish good habenero peppers were easier to find in stores.