And then...

[Dechipher]

So I woke up this morning and realized that I brought a woman home with me. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much. Well, whatever. I looked at my clock. It was already noon! I had to be at work in thirty minutes. I go to get up when the mystery gal sits up...and it's a drag queen (and not a very good one.) I open my mouth to say...something, but then -

[Masamune]

It's chick-dick is ginormous. It began to swell and grow to an unfathomable girth of elephant like magnitudes until then..

[Dechipher]

...my girlfriend walked in. Except there was something different about her. She was zombified! A crossdressing boy-scout was the least of my worries right now. Clearly there was a global outbreak of some mega virus. I reached into my closet and brought out my baseball bat. I went to head out the door and start busting up some zombies, but then -

[The_Amaster]

I realized "what am I doing? I shouldn't be fighting the zombies...I should be turning them into my own personal army!".
I subdued three of the Zombies with the bat and some rope, and then prepared to begin my whats-left-of-the-brainwashing to follow me, but then...

[Dechipher]

I heard a repeating beeping noise. The microwave was going off! I forgot about the burrito I'd put in there (in between my girlfriend walking in and me fighting the zombies). I pull out the tasty goodness, when all of a sudden -

[Beldaran]

My penis exploded. Ouch.

[Din]

Then I realized that the RV home I was in was rolling downhill... I then felt I sharp BUMP! The zombies flew everywhere, so I gave the zombies a hand, (I really literally gave them their hands back so they could find their parts) when I noticed the bump I hit... I couldn't believe it... it was... IT WAS... Fat Albert. He spoke to me, and his last words were... "Hey, hey, hey!" Then he gagged. That was when I realized I...