Pineconn is...

[Dechipher]

We have this thing called Private Messages.

Threads are made with a purpose for more than just one person, generally.

I'm not saying your thread was out of place, just that if you don't want people to reply with what they think, don't post it.

[Pineconn lolz]

No, i'm fine with people replying with what they think. Thats half the fun.

[Pineconn]

Yeah, this is kind of the most interesting thing that happened to me this weekend, at least. And that's pretty big, considering I picked up branches from my yard, went for a wheeze-inducing bike ride, went turkey hunting, push-mowed my lawn, went turkey hunting again, and then spread gravel and mulch along a mile long trail.

So, yeah. I might as well give the background info about this whole thing. I checked out Wikipedia the other day, and I saw that the Wii was that day's featured article. I clicked on it and noticed that somebody replaced the word "Wii" with "The Dirty Sanchez". (Interestingly, in about 15 minutes, it was fixed.) The next day at school, I mentioned this, and he and someone else decided that The Dirty Sanchez was a funny nickname to call someone. Hence this. Yeah, pretty uninteresting.

[Glenn the Great]

Put it in your custom title.

[Dechipher]

Put it in your custom title.

And be a tool...

[Fabiano the Spy]

Haha, this has been a funny little thread. I'm kind of suprised it hasn't been closed (I'm not saying it should be in any way), but as stated above, it has been entertaining.

[Darth Marsden]

Oh my god, I've just had the best idea EVARS!

[AGN Cafe, day, school hall. Everyone's sitting around, having a good time et al. Amaster42, biggiy05 and Pineconn are relaxing on a Friends-style couch while Darth Marsden is leaning on the couch from behind, sharing an encounter with them]
Darth: Ok, so I was just standing there, and the guy walks up to me and says 'How's your arm, bitch?', and I tell him 'Yeah, it's still a little sore', so he just whacks it, right? But nothing happens! And he's standing there like 'What? You told me...' and I say 'Yeah, but I'm a Sith Lord, remember? We tend to lie a lot' and they're STILL cleaning his guts off the roof. God, that was a fun afternoon.
[As he's talking, Dechipher comes up to him]
Dechipher: [Taps Darth's shoulder] Hey Darth, I have to take you to the War Lord's office.
Darth: What? I didn't do it, it was the one-armed bandit!
Dechipher: Look, I've just been instructed to bring you to War Lord's office.
Darth: Oh, for the love of a good woman who doesn't have herpes and/or genital warts! I'm in the middle of something!
Dechipher: Come on man, I'm just doin' my job.
Darth: [Taunting him] I'm juh duh duh duhhh! I don't care if you're just doing your job, I'm busy! The man's just gonna have to wait!
War Lord: [Stepping out of his office] Darth, get in here before I ban you for being an asshole!
Darth: [Everyone looks at him] Oh, thanks. Bitch.
War Lord: NOW!
Darth: I'm coming, I'm coming.

[War Lord's office, moments later. Darth and Dechipher enter the room, where War Lord and MottZilla are waiting. Darth flumps down into the empty chair and waves his hand in front of War Lord]

Darth: Darth didn't do anything. He doesn't need to be banned. He deserves an animated avatar. He deserves to be respected and feared. Etcetera.
MottZilla: Knock it off Darth.
Darth: [Puts the hand down] Eh, worth a try.
MottZilla: It didn't work the first time, what makes you think it'll work the 57th time?
Dechipher: I think Darth deserves an animated avatar.
Darth: [Looking at Dechipher] I wasn't even aiming at you!
Dechipher: Darth wasn't even aiming at me.
Darth: Ah, sod it.
Dechipher: Darth sods it.
Darth, MottZilla and War Lord SHUT UP!
War Lord: [Pauses to make sure Dechipher has shut up, then addresses Darth] Darth, the reason we called you in here is because I think it's time you tried out being the General Discussion forum moderator.
Darth: The GD mod? Me?
Dechipher: I would just like to say that I am firmly against this.
War Lord: Duly noted. Now get on with it.
MottZilla: ...fine. Ahem. You need to watch for bad behavior, and make sure anyone in the threads is either behaving or has a season pass.
War Lord: Right. If anyone doesn't, you have the authority to warn them and inform me.
Darth: [Incredulous] Auth- authoritah?
Dechipher: Darth has authoritah.
Darth: Not now.
MottZilla: Now Darth, being the GD moderator is a big responsibility. You need to take the job seriously, and for god's sake don't abuse the power.
Darth: [Wearing an innocent smile] Me?

[A montage. First scene is the GD halls. Darth pops up dressed as Dog the Bounty Hunter. He walks around and strikes a few poses. He pockets a can of Bear Spray into its holster, makes sure he has handcuffs, then checks his newly grown goatee. Next, he pretends he's driving a real car. Back in the, he walks into view and strikes one more dramatic pose, then the POV changes and he's walking towards the camera. One more scene has him turning the steering wheel of an SUV. Over all of this, there's a funky song playing with the following lyrics:]
Darth: There's fear and darkness all around you
The criminals are on the run
No use in not having your season pass
I'll take you to the owner 'cause I'm the Dawg
I am the Dawg, the big bad Dawg
The GD Moderator!

[When the song finishes he's in the SUV. He grins until a hand appears and knocks on the driver's window]

Car Salesman: [Opening the door] Hey you, get outta there.
Darth: That's cool. I'm done making my video anyways.

He picks up the video camera from the front of the SUV and leaves. The video shoot resumes at GD. Darth is on the job when he turns around and sees someone else in the hall. He strikes a dramatic pose and yells]

Darth: Season pass! Show me your season pass!
Masamune: What?
Darth: [He shoves Masamune into the wall and whips out the Bear Spray] You know what this is? This is the mace that they use on bears, faggot! Now let me see your season pass!
Masamune: Ok, Ok - It's right here. [He reaches into his pocket and pulls it out to show him]
Darth: [Releasing the boy] All right, cool, brah. Go with Christ. [He turns right and walks away. Masamune isn't happy]
Masamune: What? You can't just push me up against the-
Darth: [Kicks masamune, who flies away and breaks through the opposite wall] Ha! [Marching on, he starts singing his song again] I am the Dawg, the big bad- Oh my God! [He sees a wad of paper on the floor, before running over to pick it up and check it out] What the sithspit is this?!

[New Members. The moderator, Prrkitty, is shown teaching them about shapes. She's drawn a circle and is now drawing a square]
Prrkitty: And so this shape with four sides is what, class?
Darth: [Bursts into the classroom. Everyone turns to see who it is. Darth walks up to Pineconn_lolz] Pineconn_lolz! You littering my hallway, brah?!
Prrkitty: Darth? What the hell are you doing?!
Darth: I found this in the GD hallway. [He unfolds the wad of paper - it's a drawing Pineconn_lolz has made of Prrkitty with hearts all around her. It looks like it was drawn by a two year old in crayon] Apparently your new charge Pineconn_lolz has a crush on you. [Pineconn_lolz looks around nervously] You got a crush on your mod, brah?! Keep it out of my hallway! Go with Christ. Here you go. [He hands the drawing to Prrkitty and heads for the door]
Prrkitty: Darth, was that really necessary?
Darth: Hey! I don't tell you how to run your section, don't tell me how to run mine! [Leaves, closing the door behind him]
Fabiano the Spy: lolz has a crush on Kitty!
New Members: lolz has a crush on Kitty! [The group laughs]
PrrKitty: Alright, that's enough, guys! [The group keep on chatting] Ok, you know what? Everyone dismissed. We'll meet back here tomorrow. [B][Everybody starts to leave, including Pineconn_lolz][/I] Actually, Pineconn_lolz, could you stay just a few minutes, please? [He does so. After a minute, only him and PrrKitty are left. She moves towards him] Listen, Pineconn_lolz, I'm very flattered by all of your love notes, but I need to be clear. See, there've been a lot of female moderators on the news lately who have been having relationships with young male newbies and, people might get the wrong idea, even though... I do admire you. You are so smart and gifted. So mature for your age.
Pineconn_lolz: [In a baby-like voice] I don't like Mason.
PrrKitty: You listen, and you really care about what I have to say. You make me feel things I've never... [She reaches out to Pineconn_lolz and touches his right hand] felt before. [She and Pineconn_lolz hold hands, but she lets go and leaves her seat] Dammit, this is crazy. I'm your moderator. How can we be having these feelings for each other? [She turns around and faces him] You're so mysterious, and I can't... and I can't...

[She begins to swoon. A montage follows to REO Speedwagon's Can't Fight This Feeling Anymore. She and Pineconn_lolz rub noses as a heart frames them. Their shadows rush up and hug each other, then twirl around together as hearts pulsate outward. They hold hands again. She takes him out to dinner and chatters away. She takes him out to ice-skate at a skating rink. She takes him out to a dinner picnic before a setting sun - they share wine and cheese. She takes him out for a ride on a duck boat - she does the driving. She has an artist draw a picture of them. They hop onto a merry-go-round and get on horses - she blows a kiss at him there. She takes him home and watches TV with him. Finally, the scene ends with the two of them under the covers - looks like she was having some fun]

PrrKitty: That was unbelievable. I've never felt like such a woman before. They'll say our love is wrong, but we can't let anybody know; they'll never understand. [She rolls to her right and starts massaging Pineconn_lolz tenderly] We were meant to be, I know it. How else could sex be that incredible? [She lays back down]
Pineconn_lolz: I made a nuno.

[The boy's room in General Discussion. bigjoe rushes in and towards the urinal. Once in place, he sets his season pass down next to the sink and does his business]
bigjoe: Hey there, Mr. Wiener, whattaya know? Do ya need to tinkle tinkle? [Falsetto] Yes I do think so.
Darth: [Bursts into the restroom. bigjoe is startled] Hands?! Let me see those hands!
bigjoe: Backs off] Haaaah!
Darth: [Advances] Where's your pass?! Show me your season pass, brah!
bigjoe: [Looks around frantically for it] It's, it's... I just had it! [Keeps looking, but Darth grabs him]
Darth: I knew it! [He slams bigjoe's head against a toilet stall, then tosses him to the floor, cuffs him, and escorts him out of the restroom. Focus briefly on the hall pass, by the sink where bigjoe left it, before cutting to the waiting room outside War Lord's office. Darth and bigjoe wait on the bench outside. bigjoe's fly is still undone, revealing his polka-dot underwear]
Darth: Look, brah, I had to bring you in, but I don't have any hard feelin's against you all right?
bigjoe: Wha?
Darth: Here, you need a smoke, brah?
bigjoe: Uhh, Ok. [Darth puts a cigarette into bigjoe' mouth, then lights it for him]
Darth: You've gotta give yourself over to Christ, brah.
bigjoe: I do? [Coughs. He's clearly not a smoker]
Darth: Jesus is Lord. You can go one direction in life, or you just walk around the hallways without a season pass. Or you can see the light, brah. [bigjoe coughs some more]

...I AM TEH GENIUS!
More soon. Trust me, it gets better and betta!

[Fabiano the Spy]

Wow. That's simply the best piece of art I've read, Darth :)

However, I must say that we need to cut you back from South Park

[Dechipher]

At least you spelled my name right, even if you did make me into a whiney bitch...

[ZTC]

Darth, that was the best post of this thread. Kudos