I don't know if this has been posted before but it's good enough to post again if it was... :)
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When Grandma goes to court: Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi grandma a question if they aren't prepared for the answer.
In a trial, a Southern small-town prosecuting attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman, to the stand. He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
She responded, "Why, yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly, you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife and you manipulate people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big shot when really you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything more then a two-bit paper pusher. So... yes, I do know you."
The lawyer was stunned. Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
She again replied, "Why yes do know him. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster. He's lazy, bigoted and he has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his wife with three different woman. One of them was your wife. Yes, I do know him."
The defense attorney nearly died.
The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench and in a very quiet voice said, "If either of you idiots asks her if she knows me, I'll personally send both of you to the electric chair."