The Great AGN Oracle

[AlexMax]

I basically stole this idea from The Internet Oracle, but I've decided to start my first Forum Games thread ever with this.

This isn't a 'game' per se, as it is a source of entertainment and a chance to show off your writing skill.

It goes like this. You can do one of two things. In this thread, you can either ask a question, or you can answer it.

Question

* Try to adress the oracle by name. Such as "Oh great Oracle" or "Oh most wise Oracle". You don't have to...but whats the fun in not doing it?
* Ask your question
* Don't 'respond' to an oracle's answer. The gods smite those who question the oracles' wisdom.

Answer

This is where the fun begins...

* Assume yourself to be an oracle. Roleplay. Be imaginitive.
* You can answer ANYONE's question. You can even answer a question that another oracle has already answered.
* Quote whoever you answer, to avoid confusion.
* Answer one person at a time, again to avoid confusion (don't multiquote and answer multiple questions)
* Your answer must be as witty as you can possibly make it. This is the important part. It's the whole point of the oracle idea.
* Optionally, you may want to request penance for giving your answer. Such requests go at the very end of your answer. Something like "You owe the Oracle a *insert item here*" would do nicely.

Here is an example, taken from the origional Internet Oracle

The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was:
Oh Oracle, who is the wisest of all the great things in the world...

Can I have a puppy for my birthday?

And in response, thus spake the Oracle:
Well, yeah. But to keep from freaking out everybody why not just have cake like all the other kids. . .

You owe the Oracle a lobster dinner.

If someone will ask the first couple of questions, I might answer the first one or two just to get everyone in the mood. Remember, anyone can ask and anyone can answer.

[cyberkiller6276]

Humor me, O Great and wise Oracle...

Where can I get the best cell phone service?

[AlexMax]

Originally posted by cyberkiller6276
Humor me, O Great and wise Oracle...

Where can I get the best cell phone service?

And in response, thus spake the oracle...

This is a rather tricky question to answer, mortal. However, after some research, I have found your answer, thanks in part to the oracle's cell phone manual.

In short, your signal operates on radio waves. It is maintained by a wireless network of your choice and it depends on the stregnth of the wireless radio signal.

Most cell phones have a signal stregnth meter on them. This will let you know how big the signal is. In order to get the best cell phone service, walk around until the signal stregnth meter goes up. Also, I know many fellow lesser deities that have cell phones who get blanked out in the middle of buildings, so if you are getting no service, that's probably the reason. Move near a window, that should probably fix it.

In conclusion, hte best cell phone service is wherever the signal stregnth meter is highest.

You owe the Oracle a new cell phone with a better game of Snake and a "Cruel Angel Thesis" ringtone.

*click*

CALL TIME 4:23

NO SERVICE

[carrot red]

O Greatest Oracle of all times, please head my pleas and grant rest to my tormented soul...

Will Breaker make a theme in blue shades or a blue main page to rest my eyes and give hope to my browsing?

[AlexMax]

Originally posted by carrot red
O Greatest Oracle of all times, please head my pleas and grant rest to my tormented soul...

Will Breaker make a theme in blue shades or a blue main page to rest my eyes and give hope to my browsing?

And in response, thus spake the oracle...

It is very unlikely, my dear, that Breaker will make a theme in blue shades. This is due to the fact that Breaker does not own a pair of blue shades.

[14:15] <AlexMax> Do you own any pairs of blue shades?
[14:16] <Breaker> ??
[14:16] <Breaker> no

However, it seems much more likely that he will make a main page, as I have seen with my own eyes some designs that he has in the works. As for if they are blue, that is not something that a mortal can know until the day the theme is released, and as for the question of if it will "rest your eyes and give hope to your browsing", that will be for you alone to judge.

Speaking of which, why are your eyes so weary? Perhaps a pair of blue shades might do you some good.

You owe the oracle a pair of black shades. And a bottle of SPF 50 sunblock.

[Tsukuru]

Oh wise Oracle, to whom I come crawling only in pitiful askance...

How much longer will Armageddon Games be around to quench the thirsts of our browsing pleasures?

[Dracula]

Originally posted by Tsukuru
Oh wise Oracle, to whom I come crawling only in pitiful askance...

How much longer will Armageddon Games be around to quench the thirsts of our browsing pleasures?

Quote the Oracle...
The day EVERY SINGLE member has lost their virginity... It'll be a while, TRUST ME... Now, please, give me 20 bucks and a metaball sub, DEAL?

[Ultra22Lemming]

Oh awesome Oracle, who is leader of all things great and small ...

When will the Earth and Sun crash into eachother?

[Dracula]

Originally posted by Ultra22Lemming
Oh awesome Oracle, who is leader of all things great and small ...

When will the Earth and Sun crash into eachother?

And the Great Oracle said unto the Lemming...
Young Lemming, the earth and sun shall collide right after Venus and before Mars... Don't worry, everyone will be long gone, even when hundreds of miles away from the suns firey surface... Sweet dreams