Get Cool. (The 1st AGN West Side Story reference?)

[theplustwo]

No, I am not starting a cult. Or a group of any kind for that matter. It's just a bunch of ideas that I think could improove AGN somewhat. It's the:

NEW 12 step program to save AGN: (Okay, so it's not exactly going down in flames... no pun intended)

Step One: Follow the Rules.

Read Glenn the Great's AGN Member Handbook. Read it again.

Step Two: Use smilies, don't abuse smilies.

If you are happy, use a smiling face,
If you are being a wise-ass, use this:
If you are super-happy, use this:
but if you are mad, don't do this:

:angry: :angry: :angry: :angry:

That is just another form of spam.

Step Three: Get Cool.

Always assume innocence until guilt is proven.

Use your best judgment in any given situation.

Type, Preview, Repeat. Do it.

Don't hesitate to correct someone’s mistake, but do it without grilling them to a fine crisp.

Include some humor in every post. (especially in Word Association.) Also, Post in coherent english, it's helpful.

Don't enter a thread, post 'shouldn't this be in *suchandsuch*? and not actually write anything.

Don't post that you have a certain amount of posts left until you reach some 'watershed' number.

If you make criticism, make it constructive. Nothing good has ever followed the words 'Not to be mean, but...'

Have fun, but not at the detriment of anyone else's.

Step Four: Let the mods do their job

There aren't several levels of authority for nothing, you don't have to criticize mods for being too strict, or lenient, just let the powers at be work it out. Go ahead and report any faulty posts, but don't start a thread saying a certain staff member sux0rs.

Step Five: Use the Newbie Resources

If you have a question, however mundane, your first step should be the wonderful Newbie Central, and then the New Members Forum. If it isn't covered in either place, don't hesitate to post in the Newbie Forum, but please make sure the topic hasn’t already been covered. (Just count the 'how to put pic in sig' threads in the newbie forum).

Step Six: Jeff Goldblum's voice: There's no step six!

Well, that pretty much wraps it up, my plan to 'save' AGN. It certainly doesn't cover everything, but I have tried to make plain most of the things that I have seen people getting heated about recently, and some of them are lessons, that I have learned the hard way. If you have any good additions, feel free.

Oh, I almost forgot, don't turn every thread into a 'KTC is useless,' or 'AGN sucks and is too political now' flame war.

[Jemsee]

Looks like a plan to me.
I'm no political scientist but It seems there a lot of "vote for me" and "down with so-and-so or this-and-that".
I read through some of it but most is beyond me.

It there is no rule 6, then here is 5.5
AGN = Arguing Gets you Nowhere.

[theplustwo]

If you didn't get the Jeff Goldblum thing, it was from an Apple ad a while back:

Step One: Plug in (a hand plugs the power cord into a wall-socket)

Step Two: Connect (a hand plugs the phone line into a wall-socket)

Step Three: There's no step three!

Its one of the worst cases of over-simplization I have ever seen.

[The Silent Assassin]

Step 1: Get off your ass (and computer).
Step 2: Go outside
Step 3: Talk to ACTUAL PEOPLE...IN PERSON (WOW! THE DO EXIST MA!)
Step 4: Meet something called a...FEMALE! (WHOA)
Step 5: Go to a tribal ritual called a "party".
Step 6: Drink the traditional ceremonial beverage of choice (Jack Daniel's, Beer, Vodka, etc...)
Step 7: Pick up one of these rare speciments called a female (the ones with two big round humps on their chest)
Step 8: Talk low. Talk slow. And don't say much. (Good policy)
Step 9: You might end up with this female in a place known as a BEDROOM with a BED.
Step 10: Something "fun" may occur (various activities involving places you didn't knew existed on your own body...yes that "11th" finger does have a function other than pissing)
Step 11: WOW! I did something I only saw on the internet before!
Step 12: Repeat steps 1-11 every weekend and sometimes during the week.

Good job! You've just taken your first step into a much larger world.

[theplustwo]

Woah, TSA, that changed my life! SWEET!

But are you sure you want to be recommending an illegal activity? (lots of members are under 18! )

[Toolie]

Originally posted by fmehmobile
Woah, TSA, that changed my life! SWEET!

But are you sure you want to be recommending an illegal activity? (lots of members are under 18! )

And ALOT of people under the age of 18/21 drink.

[Daarkseid]

Originally posted by The Silent Assassin
Step 1: Get off your ass (and computer).
Step 2: Go outside
Step 3: Talk to ACTUAL PEOPLE...IN PERSON (WOW! THE DO EXIST MA!)
Step 4: Meet something called a...FEMALE! (WHOA)
Step 5: Go to a tribal ritual called a "party".
Step 6: Drink the traditional ceremonial beverage of choice (Jack Daniel's, Beer, Vodka, etc...)
Step 7: Pick up one of these rare speciments called a female (the ones with two big round humps on their chest)
Step 8: Talk low. Talk slow. And don't say much. (Good policy)
Step 9: You might end up with this female in a place known as a BEDROOM with a BED.
Step 10: Something "fun" may occur (various activities involving places you didn't knew existed on your own body...yes that "11th" finger does have a function other than pissing)
Step 11: WOW! I did something I only saw on the internet before!
Step 12: Repeat steps 1-11 every weekend and sometimes during the week.

Good job! You've just taken your first step into a much larger world.

I've been stuck on part 4 for years now, and part 5 seems completely impossible for someone such as I.

[theplustwo]

Toolie, I was refering to TSA 'telling' everyone to get laid, not drink (yes, I know the legal drinking age is 21)

Plus I was kidding!! note the placement of the smilie.