I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

Granted, but the chili is made from mystery meat. ;)

I wish for a spoon.

Granted, but it's jabbed into your eye.

I wish I could go to Red Lobster for dinner at least once a month.

Granted, but you always have the runs after eating there.

I wish for a potato (what could go wrong?)

Okay, but you get shot!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPV6MUDH_Eg

I wish for 10 tails.

Granted, but they are tied together in a noose that is used to hang you.

I wish that this current wish which I am wishing now does not, never had, and never will have a downword side effect of ANY sort.

Granted, but now you killed the thread.

Just kidding, you taste the color blue now.

I wish that I had a plush toy of Isabelle from Animal Crossing New Leaf.

Granted, but in the process you lose every other possession you own.

I wish for the weather here to be about 73 degrees Fahrenheit year-round.

Granted, but the only article of clothing to exist for the rest of eternity are Eskimo parkas.

I wish my smart phone was good enough to play the upcoming Fire Emblem Heroes game.

Granted, but the only version of it compatible with your phone is in Swahili.

i wish for a nice, heavy blanket.

Granted, but its made from pure asbestos.

I wish for turkey on rye.