anyone else get physically uncomfortable with decade-past posts?

I spent about an hour pawing through old posts I'd made, and posts I'd made as kamikaze cow, like in 2002.

It was pretty goddamn weird. Calls up a lot of.... whatever awkwardness and nostalgia is when it's together. I was just looking through for a horrid tileset I tried to put together by hand at some point (which of course I couldn't find) and the whole thing was just surreal.

I know and recall in my memory, I was quite obnoxious years back. It's not something I have trouble admitting. I'm still a dick, but I'd like to think wit replaced lazily screeching faggot.... mostly, but some of it's still just hard to believe came out of me.

A lot of it was super-ritilin-funtime, which clearly made me far, far more socially inept, and you know, the whole "ZOMG INTERNET I'M ANONYMOUSE" magic.

Still though, it was weird.
Thought I'd share that.

Anyone else have some of that going on, 12 year old self frozen in time posts hanging around the internet, and such?

Yes. Very.

Back then I was still a teenager with autism, acting (probably) younger than he was. Today, well... aspergers isn't something that goes away, but at least I'm mature, and can talk about it without someone else making an ass of themselves.

I was also really bitter and vile about criticism. I don't think I got over that, I just stopped making quests. That was bad.

I'm more or less at peace with having said some stupid things in the past, especially if it really is that far back. We're all human, and all make mistakes. And in our youth, we show the world how much we have to learn, if we don't, it can not know to teach us.

Not really but knowing some of our members off-line belied anonymity for me. I am intense enough off-line that it never made sense to act out.

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Originally Posted by Mercy

Not really but knowing some of our members off-line belied anonymity for me. I am intense enough off-line that it never made sense to act out.

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Indeed! It was pretty dark for me as a kid, didn't really make a lot of friends. I had uh, the one. That I played super smash bros with. Later, he banged my fiance a bunch, it was a whole thing.

Things really evened out for me following highschool. Made a lot of friends, had my share of stupid drama, now I only have a couple, but they are really, really good folks. But yeah, dark times lead to weird internetting. I wouldn't want to apply myself to other people, but it does make me wonder sometimes. "Is that guy screaming nigger in youtube comments everywhere because he just has no friends?"
Well probably, but maybe not the same boat.

I feel the same way about some posts that I have made in the past, especially at PureZC. I've made some pretty nonsensical posts here and there back in the day and I feel as if I was another person. This comes with maturity and I am somewhat comfortable with the posts I have contributed with the communities I have been with. (Some posts are stupid/ridiculous, but some are serious.)

I find it entertaining to say the least. Especially my threads where I either sicked anime girls by the thousands on Dragon Omega or did the Anime/Game Crossover RPGs (which btw, the third and final one I did was loosely based on an actual story I'm working on...though the thread never finished on its own really)

Posting style definitely changes with the evolution of the personality. It can also be your own psychologist, to a degree. What kind of person did you want to be seen as, for example, when you made a given post?

I remember back in my early years here (and everywhere else, ... ... ... geez.) every other anything that I typed was one of those anime-style kawaii things, because it matched my actual feelings at the time. I didn't have the "depressive" part of manic-depressive, or it was broken or something, and I just posted around like I was on crack all the time. That was mostly around people that I felt I could learn something from. Back then, every single thing on the internet was totally new and interesting. What a maddening world it is for a newbie, huh?

I prefer to pretend that my ancient posts do not exist... along with the glaring embarrassment they carry with them.

...Old posts? :o

What old posts? :3

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Originally Posted by ShadowTiger

Posting style definitely changes with the evolution of the personality. It can also be your own psychologist, to a degree. What kind of person did you want to be seen as, for example, when you made a given post?

I remember back in my early years here (and everywhere else, ... ... ... geez.) every other anything that I typed was one of those anime-style kawaii things, because it matched my actual feelings at the time. I didn't have the "depressive" part of manic-depressive, or it was broken or something, and I just posted around like I was on crack all the time. That was mostly around people that I felt I could learn something from. Back then, every single thing on the internet was totally new and interesting. What a maddening world it is for a newbie, huh?

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Something about the :kawaii: smiley infecting signatures and such.

Sometimes. Sometimes I get physically uncomfortable with things I've said a day ago.

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Quote:

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Originally Posted by ShadowTiger

Posting style definitely changes with the evolution of the personality. It can also be your own psychologist, to a degree. What kind of person did you want to be seen as, for example, when you made a given post?

I remember back in my early years here (and everywhere else, ... ... ... geez.) every other anything that I typed was one of those anime-style kawaii things, because it matched my actual feelings at the time. I didn't have the "depressive" part of manic-depressive, or it was broken or something, and I just posted around like I was on crack all the time. That was mostly around people that I felt I could learn something from. Back then, every single thing on the internet was totally new and interesting. What a maddening world it is for a newbie, huh?

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*pounces*

I remember on IRC talking about a time when I was just drawn to you. :) I guess I moved on from that, but I still remember it and smile. *clings to BH4*