Hey ho all. I've been gone for a while, and have only recently kinda come back, so I figured you might want to know what's been going on with your resident Dark Lord of the Sith.
The short story is I got a job.
The long version is a nice little story that'll keep you entertained for years to come and is something you can tell the kids as a bedtime treat.*
It begins a few months ago when I got a job at the local Body Shop offices through a recruitment agency (who have done squat diddle for me since then, but that's a while other kettle of fish). That particular job was essentially me updating spreadsheets for two weeks, and was not much fun at all, however I did get some lifts home from my Uncle, who also works at the office, although in the Global IT department. Are you keeping up at the back there? Good.
A few days after I finish work, my old friend from college Peter hits me up on MSN and asks 'Did you work at the Body Shop?'. When I reply yes, it turns out that he also works there, covering someone on Maternity leave, and in fact sits opposite my uncle. Small world indeed.
Flash forward to mid-September. I get a call from my Uncle, who informs me that my friend Peter is being transferred to a different department and they need a replacement pronto. I'm already on the system, my Uncle knows I'm available on short notice and beleives that I would be a person for the job, so asks me if I'm interested. I say 'Sure, why not?' and he gets back in touch with his manager, who tells him 'So get a CV!'. This gets back to me, and I have to run to the PC and get one typed up, 'cause I lost the last one in the Grand Reformat of '06.
Somehow the CV (in all its glory) gets to my Uncle's boss, who looks at it and says 'Ok, let's get him in for an interview'. So they do - that very Friday afternoon. My uncle has to take a break, drive over and pick me up, which was 'fun'. Anyway, I get there, we go through the interview, I somehow manage to convince them I'm not a complete loser and they offer me the job. I start at the Global Service Desk (It's a big fancy way of saying Internal Tech Support') on Monday.
And that's the story of how I got the job. but wait! It's not over! The fun continues, as I'm replacing Peter, but he has to train me, since having an untrained monkey loose on the phones probably wouldn't help anyone. So an arrangement is made. Peter will spend the mornings training me, and after lunch he goes over to his new boring job. Glee.
After two weeks, he abandons me for his new totally uninteresting role. My Uncle is off all over the place installing new software, and the other guy on the department - let's call him Craig, since that's his name - actually wants to switch departments, 'cause he's had enough and he'll quit if he isn't given the chance to do something more interesting. So he gets an interview and is transferred, meaning Peter now has to move back to replace HIM. So now it's me (the n00b), Peter (the guy who knows stuff) and my Uncle (if he's around) taking and solving technical calls from people all over the place.
Meanwhile, we're replacing our old call logging software (It's called Touchpaper - if you've heard of it, you share my pain) with a newer, flashier version. That's generally a good thing, right? Well, not for us - it sucks.
We're the Beta testers, if you will, and it's not the most stable of software. My Uncle, who is the Touchpaper 'expert', for lack of a better word, is constantly solving peoples problems with the software and getting in touch with the guys who created the software. The software often crashes without warning. If it doesn't, it's uber-slow and takes an age to create a new 'call', or to find an old one. And when you've got people on the phone, that's not particularly helpful.
In addition, my shifts are a little manic. One week I've be doing 7:45 to 3:45, and the next I'll be on 10:15 to 6:15. And the first week I had my early shift, my parents were on holiday and I had to walk the 30 minute hike to the offices in the cold. And then, because it was so early and they hadn't given me a card, I had to wait for someone else to show up to let me in at all.
So, in short - it's been a wee bit hectic, and sometimes I'll get a query that's way over my head, but I'm doing okay. Learning as I go, but hanging in there and trying not to piss off people I've left on my stack for three days too much. But hey, apparently I'm good with people, so that's nice. You never really know until someone emails you saying 'Thanks for being such a star'.
And that, dear people, is why I haven't been here. 'cause by the time I get back from work, that last thing I want to do is spend another minute sat in front of a PC dealing with people I really couldn't give two fingers shaped like a V about. (Kidding. You guys are great and I miss the random babble that brings a smile to my face.) Anyway, normal service resumes February 1st, since my contract ends in January and there is no way in hell I am extending it further.
Oh, and Monica - this also explains why I've not been on MSN and have been unable to chat to you about Doctor Who. Bad timing, huh? Sorry hun. PM me and I'm sure we can work something out, 'cause I'd love to know what you think of Mr Tennant.
* - Not actually true, and if you do tell this story to any children you may have, there is something very wrong with you.
