Make A Wish, At A Price

Granted, but you can only ever have your least favorite toppings on it.

I wish for a nice cup of coffee

Granted, but you'll have to wait 83 years for it.

I wish I could get over this stupid cold.

Granted, you now have the flu instead.

I wish for a android phone with internal memory greater than 16 GB that isn't expensive.

Granted, it has 16.01 GB of memory.

I wish to be completely healthy for the next 50 years.

Granted, but then you die.

I wish for a sandwich.

Granted, here's spoiled bologna and stale cheese with expired mayo on moldy bread. Enjoy.

I wish my old PS2 was compatible with my modern TV.

Granted, but then your modern TV breaks.

I wish my toenails would stop growing, I hate clipping them.

Granted, your feet fall off.

I wish for an egg sandwich.

Granted, but it's a raw egg (still in the shell) between two slices of bread.

I wish for my toenails to stop growing but I get to keep my feet.

Granted, but then your fingernails start growing uncontrollably.

I wiish I didn't drink so much soda.