And then...

So I woke up this morning and realized that I brought a woman home with me. Maybe I shouldn't have drank so much. Well, whatever. I looked at my clock. It was already noon! I had to be at work in thirty minutes. I go to get up when the mystery gal sits up...and it's a drag queen (and not a very good one.) I open my mouth to say...something, but then -

It's chick-dick is ginormous. It began to swell and grow to an unfathomable girth of elephant like magnitudes until then..

...my girlfriend walked in. Except there was something different about her. She was zombified! A crossdressing boy-scout was the least of my worries right now. Clearly there was a global outbreak of some mega virus. I reached into my closet and brought out my baseball bat. I went to head out the door and start busting up some zombies, but then -

I realized "what am I doing? I shouldn't be fighting the zombies...I should be turning them into my own personal army!".
I subdued three of the Zombies with the bat and some rope, and then prepared to begin my whats-left-of-the-brainwashing to follow me, but then...

I heard a repeating beeping noise. The microwave was going off! I forgot about the burrito I'd put in there (in between my girlfriend walking in and me fighting the zombies). I pull out the tasty goodness, when all of a sudden -

My penis exploded. Ouch.

Then I realized that the RV home I was in was rolling downhill... I then felt I sharp BUMP! The zombies flew everywhere, so I gave the zombies a hand, (I really literally gave them their hands back so they could find their parts) when I noticed the bump I hit... I couldn't believe it... it was... IT WAS... Fat Albert. He spoke to me, and his last words were... "Hey, hey, hey!" Then he gagged. That was when I realized I...