Make A Wish, At A Price

[TheDarkOne]

I think everyone knows how to play this game, but if not, here it is: One person will make a wish, then the next person will find a way to turn that wish against them, then make a wish of their own. For example:

TOM: I wish I had some soda.
DICK: Granted, but it's flat. I wish for more days off.
HARRY: Granted, you get fired. I wish for more money.

And so on. So I will start with this wish:

I wish I was able to pilot a helicopter.

[Tamamo]

Granted but on your first day you crash it into our house and kill our children. I was lucky and survived but divorce your murderous ass sue you for everything your worth and your now forced to work as maid servant at my mansion trying to win back my love after having a sex change...

Wow... that was long winded. I'm going to have way to much fun with this.

I wish more people on agn flirted with one another.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then someone you can't stand starts flirting with you and then it turns into stalking.

I wish my finger wasn't sprained.

[mrz84]

Granted, they fall off instead. I wish for some cheese.

[bigjoe]

Granted. The moon falls on your head.

I wish to be cast into the lower depths.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but when you get there you find you have to spend eternity with Justin Beiber.

I wish for a better cell phone.

[TheDarkOne]

I wish people were interested in this game :shrug:

[ZoriaRPG]

I wish people were interested in this game :shrug:

They are, but you cant see the replies. I wish the ZC source weren't so knackered.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then they reprogram the whole thing in Microsoft QBasic, with no REM lines whatsoever.

I wish I had a better cell phone.

[PinkFairy]

OK, but you accidentally drop it down a storm drain.

I wish laptop computers were cheaper.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, they are now 1 cent cheaper.

I wish my mouse worked better.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, your mouse now gets a job with someone else with higher pay and works better for them.

I wish laptops were cheap enough for me to afford.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but they're so cheap that every store you go to is sold out of them.

I wish I still had my old Logitech mouse.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, but your first Logitech mouse was a corded one and wasn't USB, so that's the one you have,

I wish I could find a store with affordable laptops that aren't sold out.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you find the location of such a store...in Mongolia.

I wish I had my old wireless USB Logitech mouse and it still worked perfectly.

[mrz84]

Granted, but it turns into a herring.

I wish that I had a sandwich right now.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the meat is spoiled and the bread in moldy,

I wish I could turn my wireless USB Logitech herring back into a mouse.

[mrz84]

Granted, but it reeks of herring and despite having a pro clean 10 times you can't remove the smell. Also it can now for whatever reason fart negative rainbows.

I wish for reality tv to cease to exist as it is all scripted anyway and doesn't do what its name advertises it does.

[PinkFairy]

Your wish is grant--

ERROR: Reality not found, Press F1 or Enter to retry.

[TheDarkOne]

*Presses Enter*

I wish mrz84 hadn't erased reality.

[mrz84]

Granted, but its replaced with a never ending episode of the Kardasians. Have fun with that.

I wish for some Doctor Pepper.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, there is now a doctor with the surname Pepper at your local hospital or other healthcare facility.

i wish I had a working charger for my computer (posting by phone is a pain in the donkey).

[mrz84]

Granted, but it is possessed by the guy who does the "Just do it" meme and has a volume of 11 on a stereo and he says it every second the computer is on/plugged in.

I wish for a SNES Classic edition.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but yours is possessed by the spirit of Whitney Houston and every time you turn it ob she starts belting out “I Will Always Love You” at the volume level of a guitar amp at it’s highest kevel, and it loops infinitely.

i wish for a laptop charger that works and does nothing other than what it is supposed to do.

[PinkFairy]

Done, the charger works fine, but there's a wiring problem with the outlet you plug it into and it starts an electrical fire the second you plug it in.

I wish people wouldn't get so mad at one another over things that are not the other person's fault.

[mrz84]

Granted, whenever someone does that, they turn into MLP pony version of themselves (because science has proven that Friendship is Magic) and they no longer have hostilities to each other....until some pony related disaster happens, like a spirit of chaos running amok or something. :shrug:

I wish scalpers weren't dicks about pricing the stuff the scalp.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, they still won't lower the price, but they're nice about it.

I wish I knew who decided certain words were "bad" and why.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you learn this information...but you can't tell anyone else ever or you will be killed.

I wish the people who do the "tagging" vandalism would all get caught and be forced to clean it using nothing but Q-Tips and their own saliva.

[mrz84]

Granted, but then they get medals for cleaning up the mess and are unjustly put on a pedastal as symbols of society.

I wish everything was free.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but that means there isn't enough to go around for everyone because, if it's free, people will take more than their fair share and not care about whether or not anyone else gets anything.

I wish the local grocery store had more options on the stuff I buy.

[mrz84]

Granted, but most of it is literal trash because they are leaving stuff until it is FAR past its best by/expiration date (whichever ya wanna call it)

I wish I never had to sleep again without any negative side affects to my personal well being

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you are placed (fully wake) into cryostasis indefinitely.

I wish Thursday has a better name. Thursday sounds really stuipid.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, now it's called [CENSORED]day.

I wish I wasn't so tired.

[mrz84]

Granted, but now you feel like you are under the influence of 20cc of coffee 24/7 andcan no longer sleep, no matter much you want to.

I wish it wasn't colder than Final Fantasy Shiva's .....everything outside where I live.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, it's one-half degree warmer than any part of Shiva.

I wish my girlfriend would read the manual and tutorial for her new phone instead of asking me how to do everything.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, but then you have to read it to her because she can't read that and work the phone at the same time.

I wish a certain boyfriend of mine would be more helpful since he knows how to work an iPhone and I don't.

[mrz84]

Granted, but he suddenlt has two left hands and two left feet. Because RAISINS!

I wish for an apple.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's an Apple IIc computer (without the built-in floppy disk drive) that is possessed by the ghost of Steve Jobs.

I wish I could get Pandora Premium for free.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but then you have to pay for previously free services.

I wish I could get that stupid Ice Ice Baby song to stop running through my head.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, instead you have the Barney song running through your head.

I wish I had a better computer mouse.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you have the mouse and it works..but the USB sensort for it doesn't work. But the mouse itself works.

I wish the snipers on eBay would stop outbidding me at the last minute.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, they outbid you right away, usually by about 50 bucks or more.

I wish Pink Fairy didn't buy so much stuff from Ebay.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, I buy it from Amazon instead.

I wish Amazon had better prices on the stuff I can't find on eBay.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's still too expensive.

I wish Monsanto and all their GMO "frankenfood" would disappear forever.

[mrz84]

Granted, but they now serve "Vampire-Twilight Edition" Food.

I wish for a cure to all illness, disease, etc (because being sick is the suck)

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you are dead. No more getting sick.

I wish I hadn't killed mrz84

[mrz84]

Granted, ut I return as the worst kind of vampire. A Twilight vampire.

I wish for some good Sloppy Joes.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but vampires can't stomach human food (real vampires like the ones on True Blood) so you can't eat any of them.

I wish the Twilight vampires would all get killed by the True Blood vampires.

[mrz84]

Granted, but I get resurrected as a Zombie Werewolf.

I wish for a cure for my condition.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, a silver bullet ought to do it.

I wish I had a silver bullet (and a gun to fire it from would also be handy).

[mrz84]

Granted, but you lose your hand in the resulting explosion.

I wish for a replacement hand for Dark One.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but I strangle you with it for making me lose it in the first place.

I wish mrz84 would stop making me lose body parts.

[mrz84]

Granted, instead you lose sanity points as time goes on, resulting in your perception of the world around you to warp into a dark spiral of insanity that only fuels the loss of more sanity points until you are a potato or you beat whatever the final boss is (yes I made THAT reference, have fun with that)

I wish for a remake of Ogre Battle: March of the Black Queen (SNES) on the Switch in similar style to the Secret of Mana remake the PS4 is getting.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the price for it is insanely high and, even if you could afford it, all the stores are sold out.

I wish I knew what that reference in your last post was.

[mrz84]

Granted, its Eternal Darkness for Gamecube. However this knowledge is immediately wiped from your mind, because there has to be a price for the wish.

I wish for an infinite battery for my android tablet.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted. you now have a infinitely dead battery.

I wish PinkFairy wasn't losing interest in this site.

[mrz84]

Granted, I wished for her to have forum access in the other wish thread, however that has no effect on her ctual ability to have interest in AGN.

I wish I had a better android tablet.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you drop it down a sewer grate, and there's a homicidal clown down there, too.

I wish I didn't feel sick.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you lose your legs and are wheelchair bound until we can get you awesome cybernetic replacements with jet boots and everything...in 50 years.

I wish that all evil clowns (which is most of them) would cease to exist.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but despite the memory being been erased from your mind by the CIA, you were once an evil clown, so you cease to exist as well.

I wish it wouldn't take 50 years to get those awesome cybernetic legs. I'll even give up the jet boots if it will shorten the time.

[mrz84]

Granted, but sense I had ceased to exists, I can't really do anything about it.

I wish I existed again....

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you only exist as an amoeba in a petri dish.

I wish for eternal peace of mind.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but getting that requires that you live in cave at the top of a mountain with little to no human contact and live on goat meat.

I wish I could access the Veldt. I don't understand why I can't.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but once you do, you are never able to access any of the other forums again, ever.

I wish blue was green.

[mrz84]

Granted, but now green is plaid.

I wish I wasn't an amoeba.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you're now a paramecium.

I wish I could afford a better laptop.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but you have to give me your old one with no software changes. You can keep that mouse, though.

I wish Sega still made consoles. I would have liked the see where they went after the Dreamcast.

[mrz84]

Granted, they created the Sega Genesis CD Dreamcast Master System Gear, a console/handheld hybrid system with specs on par with the Nintendo Switch, as well as mimicing its concepts. Howevver nobody ever gets one because SCALPERS buy them all and are never able to sell them because they are greedy fucks.

I wish I was human again.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, the lab where you have been living finally manages to restore you to human form. You walk outside and are promptly hit by a drunk driver and killed instantly.

I wish the first Soul Calibur game had been made for other consoles besides the Dreamcast.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the only consoles it gets released on are the Atari 2600 an Commodore 64.

I wish I was alive again.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you're an amoeba again.

I wish my shoulder would stop hurting.

[mrz84]

Granted, but it falls off (it just pops off, like a Lego person's arm can pop outta the socket)

I wish was a living human again and not immediatly killed afterwards.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you aren't killed, just so badly injured that you're in the ICU.

I wish my friend and gaming buddy Kevin wasn't sick.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, he's dead. And YOU'RE sick.

I wish I wasn't sick for real. But at least I have a sweet boyfriend to take care of me :)

[mrz84]

Granted, you are nursed back to health by your BF who dresses in a slutty female nurse outfit of the worst kind possible. Also you don't know where he got that ballgag...Oh right, something actually bad...he gets sick the next day.

I wsh for to revocer from the ICU

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you revocer, whatever that is, but you don't recover.

I wish my boyfriend doesn't get sick from taking care of me.

[mrz84]

Granted, but he loses his sense of humor forever. If he didn't have one already, he gets one but its set to permanent bad pun mode.

I wish to recover from the ICU (Intensive Care Unit)

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it takes 3 years.

I wish my boyfriend still has his sense of humor, that's part what I love about him.

[TheDarkOne]

Awww....you're sweet, PinkFairy

Granted, but you lose yours instead (sorry, but I had to make it bad somehow).

I wish to change my schedule to where I could spend more time with my girlfriend.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you suffer a horrific injury that makes it impossible for you to do your job anymore. Now you have lots of free time.

I wish that never happens for real.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you have nightmares of of it for eternity.

I wish for Pokemon Diamond/Pearl/Platinum to get a remake.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, it's remade for the Atari Lynx.

I wish Atari had made some better consoles in the 90's.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the games for it are nearly impossible to find, and when you do find them, they are super expensive.

I wish the old Nintendo DSi could still connect to the internet.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but yours inexplicably shuts itself off every time you try to sign on.

I wish there were less expensive sneakers in my size.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but they're poorly made and fall apart in a week.

I wish I could figure out Resident Evil DC.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but then it gets so easy that playing ut becomes boring.

I wish I could beat Chrono Trigger DS without cheats. It's the final battle with Lavos that always does me in.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the only ending you can ever get is the Developer's Ending.

I wish for a spoon.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, it's a cheap plastic spoon from a grade school cafeteria.

I wish for some hot chocolate with marshmallows.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then you accidentally spill it in the sink.

I wish for a Whatchamacallit chocolate bar.

[mrz84]

Granted, but somehow a rat butt got into the bar and there are bits of it mixed into it EVERYWHERE.

I wish for a knife.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted. but it came from the same place as the spoon Pink gave you.

I wish for a strong Brownian motion producer.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you get it in the form of a hot cup of tea and someone drinks ir

I wish I had an infinite improbability generator.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you make a miscalculation with the improbability factors and accidentally tusn yourself into banana fruitcake.

I wish the local grocery store was within walking distance.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the entrance is in your bathroom and thus you shall never bath in peace again.

I wish for a Hawaiian BBQ Pizza.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you have to travel to Hawaii to get it and on the way there, your plane crashes and there are no survivors.

I wish for a Big Mac.

[mrz84]

Granted, You get a Big (Little) Mac from Punch-Out

I wish for a soda.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Granted, but it's baking soda.

I wish for more wishes.

[TheDarkOne]

Wishing for more wishes is against the rules.

THE RULES:
1. You way not wish for more wishes. Attempting to do so will waste a wish.
2. You may not wish for someone to fall in love with you.
3. You may not wish someone dead.
4. You may not wish someone who has died back to life again.

I wish more people understood the rules of wishing.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Okay fine, I wish we COULD wish for more wishes then. ;)

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but that was your last wish.

Acrtualy, it's kind of a moot point, since there is no limit to the number of wishes you can make it this thread.

I wish I could afford to order a pizza.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you can only ever have your least favorite toppings on it.

I wish for a nice cup of coffee

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you'll have to wait 83 years for it.

I wish I could get over this stupid cold.

[mrz84]

Granted, you now have the flu instead.

I wish for a android phone with internal memory greater than 16 GB that isn't expensive.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, it has 16.01 GB of memory.

I wish to be completely healthy for the next 50 years.

[mrz84]

Granted, but then you die.

I wish for a sandwich.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, here's spoiled bologna and stale cheese with expired mayo on moldy bread. Enjoy.

I wish my old PS2 was compatible with my modern TV.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but then your modern TV breaks.

I wish my toenails would stop growing, I hate clipping them.

[mrz84]

Granted, your feet fall off.

I wish for an egg sandwich.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it's a raw egg (still in the shell) between two slices of bread.

I wish for my toenails to stop growing but I get to keep my feet.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then your fingernails start growing uncontrollably.

I wiish I didn't drink so much soda.

[Chris Miller]

Granted, but now you have an unquenchable thirst for pee instead.

I wish Sarah Jessica Parker would stop stalking me.

[Dimentio]

Granted, Sarah Jessica Parker changes her name to Seymour Jones Parkingson and continues to stalk you anyways.

I wish for a toasted Bacon and Egg Sandwich with a properly cooked, not undercooked nor overcooked egg nor bacon, with the toast not burned, with no chance of me dropping the sandwich afterwards but still being able to drop it if I wanted to, with all the ingredients uncontaminated of anything I might find disgusting, and eating the sandwich will grant me the power to rid the world of fake news.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but your dog snatches it out of your hands and eats it instead.

I wish I had the same powers as Superman but a cooler costume.

[Dimentio]

Granted, but the entire world is secretly made of kryptonite.

I wish for a

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but as you wished for nothing, you become nothingness and cease to exist.

I wish I could stabilize at X00547 by splitting my flight path tangentially across the summit vector of 9GX78 with a five-degree inertial correction.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you Michael Bay it so EXPLOSIONS EVERYWHERE!

I wish I was immune to all disease.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you are dead. No more diseases.

I wish I could hook the logic circuits of a Bambleweeny 57 sub-meson brain to an atomic vector plotter suspended in a strong Brownian motion producer.

[Downloader]

It kills you both physically and spiritually and replaces you with artificial intelligence.

I wish everyone would live forever.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but as a result the world becomes overcrowded with newly immortal humans.

I wish it wasn't getting so overcrowded with all these newly immortal humans.

[Downloader]

Granted, everyone is evacuated from Earth onto newly terraformed planets with populations of their own choosing and preference of how many people, who the residence are, etc. so every planet has world peace, except for that they all have to ride on a short bus to get there.

I wish for a banana split with other tropical fruits and nuts in it.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you develop a nut allergy and go into anaphylactic shock when you eat one of the nuts.

I wish I could find a both complete and accurate guide for the second quest of the original LoZ.

[Downloader]

Granted, but you have to trade your copy of the original LoZ for it.

I wish more people would view my twitch stream so I could become partner and make some money with it.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but none of them like it.

I wish I actually HAD a copy of the original LoZ, and the NES to play it. Ive been playing ZC for the last 8 years.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the NES didn't come with either controllers nor the wires needed to connect it to a TV.

I wish for a new microwave.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the NES didn't come with either controllers nor the wires needed to connect it to a TV.No problem, I know where I can get those things cheap.
I wish for a new microwave.Granted, but it's only 500 watts.

I wish I could order a pizza and get the kind I want, with the toppings I want, and nothing wrong with the pizza ior me that will prevent me from enjoying it, and nobody steals it from me.

[mrz84]

Granted, however after it is delivered, you trip and it falls topping side first onto the floor while the box is open.

I wish I wouldn't need to change my calender every time a new month occurs.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you now have a digital calendar that changes the month automatically. The downside is that it is also a portal to another galaxy and now aliens are taking over the Earth and killing hundred of thousands of people and enslaving the rest. But at least you don't have to change the month anymore.

I wiah Netflix would add new movies more frequently.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but they are all really bad and boring movies.

I wish I could shoot pink goo out of my armpits at will.

[TheDarkOne]

Umm...granted, but every time you do it makes your armpits smell real bad? I don't quite understand....

I wish I knew why you wished for something so weird.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you still cannot comprehend the true form of its attack (that's a reference...deal with it)

I wish for this sub-forum to get more activity.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but in the meantime you have to give me some form of reward for recognizing your EarthBound reference (a game I just recently completed. Really, it's a weird coincidence that you would make a reference to that game just days after I finished it).

I wish there were more weird coincidences like that.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it turns out that they were all planned. In fact, your entire life has all been a computer simulation and you are an experiment in artificial intelligence.

I wish for somebody to recognize THAT reference....

[mrz84]

Granted, but that person then disappears mysteriously for unknown reasons. And then there's a random explosion somewhere.

I wish that all games where like they were in the 80s and 90s (ie: full game at release, no dlc/microtransactions/etc)

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the graphics/sound/gameplay are also like they were in the 80's and 90's..

I wish the WiFi for the old DSi systems still worked.

[mrz84]

Granted, but your DSi's shoulder buttons don't work anymore and there is a crack on the top sceen.

I wish I could turn back time, that I could find a way.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then you get sued by Cher for plagiarism.

I wish bodily waste didn't smell so bad. Thais has to do with changing my niece's diapers when I babysit.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but now all your food you try to eat or beverage you try to drink smells the way body waste used to smell. And this only affects you.

I wish I had more time to post here. Working full-time sure does eat up one's free time.

[TheDarkOne]

Grantedm you lose your job. All the free time you want.

I wish I could reember what I was going to wish.

[Downloader]

Granted, but obviously you've used your wish up on remembering and that's it.
I wish for a new Porcha.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but nobody has invented anything called a "Porcha." You'll get one when and it ever exists.

I wish I could drive a stickshift (clutches and me are like oil and water)

[Chris Miller]

Granted, but you can now only drive an old rusty pickup truck with three on the tree and no A/C.

I wish I had a toilet seat warmer.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it malfunctions and gets so hot you get third dagree burns from it.

I wish to have that old old rusty pickup fully restored to pristine condition and with A/C installed.

[Chris Miller]

Granted, but it will only run on incredibly expensive 300-year-old scotch.

I wish I had a cold beer.

[Downloader]

https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=porcha

Granted, but the beer is so cold it is solid ice and the can can't be opened.


I wish for a new word game on Armageddongames.net

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but The Dark One messes up the game like he seems to keep doing on these other ones.

I wish I had known what "porcha"" meant. I thought it was just a misspelling of Porsche.

[Downloader]

Granted, but The Dark One messes up the game like he seems to keep dong on these other ones.

I wish I had known what "porcha"" meant. I thought it was just a misspelling of Posche.
Honestly, I did too at first, but Porcha passes spellcheck on my PC and Porche doesn't for some reason, so I just went with it.. No biggie. Porcha just came from a conversation we were having about cars and girls when we were kids. I'm actually surprised it caught on enough to be in any dictionary.

Anywho…

Granted, but now you're amongst the ranks of slang talking cronies in knowing such a non-arbitrary factoid.

I wish my gums would heal faster. (I just had major oral surgery this week on Monday.)

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, your gums are healed, but now everything else is sprained, broken, or bitten off by a pack of mad yaks.

I wish I had an infinite supply of incredibly expensive 300-year-old scotch to fuel my fully restored pickup.

[Downloader]

Granted, but now the whole Universe is comprised of only aged scotch, aside from you and your pickup, and there isn't any water or air or any other needed substances.

I wish for a higher paying career.

[ZoriaRPG]

Granted, but now the whole Universe is comprised of only aged scotch, aside from you and your pickup, and there isn't any water or air or any other needed substances.

I wish for a higher paying career.

(Emphasis, mine.)

If I had to choose a way for the Uinverse to die, that doesn't sound too bad.

Granted. Your new occupation is to perpetually fix guys.cpp (https://github.com/ArmageddonGames/ZeldaClassic/blob/2.55/src/guys.cpp).

I wish that this wish was a wish.

[ZoriaRPG]

Granted, but you can now only drive an old rusty pickup truck with three on the tree and no A/C.

I wish I had a toilet seat warmer.

As a footnote, this one isn't too bad, either. I routinely operate vehicles that are quite old, and neither the 'three on the tree' shifting, not the age would bother me. The deree of rust, perhaps, if it's rust-particles-holding-hands, but otherwise, if it has wheels, I'll drive it. I far prefer old mtors, with a carb, and points-based timing, and mechanical fuel delivery, to anything new. The ease of working on them is superb, compared to the insanity of computer-controlled injection.

I do prefer diesel, though, which of course requires injection, but old diesel is also mechanically delivered. At least, I understand all of that stuff. I can take it apart, rebuild it, put it back together, and it'll run.

[Downloader]

(Emphasis, mine.)

If I had to choose a way for the Uinverse to die, that doesn't sound too bad.

Granted. Your new occupation is to perpetually fix guys.cpp (https://github.com/ArmageddonGames/ZeldaClassic/blob/2.55/src/guys.cpp).

I wish that this wish was a wish.


Granted.
I wish I knew what is wrong with guys.cpp. (I really don't even know what that is.)

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you know what is wrong, but not how to fix it.

I wish I could have back all the money I've ever spent on arcade games. This includes money spent to buy tokens in the arcades where those were required. And I want it in large bills, not coins.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but you can only spend it in arcades.

I wish I could find an arcade with the classic arcade games I grew up with.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but there's a $500 entry fee, in cash, up front, no refunds.

I wish the remote for my TV worked right.

[mrz84]

Granted, but there's a $500 entry fee, in cash, up front, no refunds.

I wish the remote for my TV worked right.

Granted, but it works correctly for every TV EXCEPT yours.

I wish we were done with this bloody winter weather.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, welcome to 115 degrees. And all your fans and air conditioners break.

I wish it was 75 degrees year round where I live.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it's 75 degrees Kelvin.

I wish I could afford to order a pizza.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but they're out of every topping except pineapple and anchovies.

I wish all pizza places had stuffed crust like Pizza Hut does.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but all they stuff it with is liver and/or beets, and now Pizza Hut does, too.

I wish I could understand the reasoning behind putting pineapple on pizza.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it in order to gain this understanding, you have to eat a pizza with pineapple on it.

I wish certain people who shall remain nameless (they know who they are) would stop criticizing my choice of pizza toppings.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it would cost less to order one pizza with toppings on which everyone agrees.

I wish you didn't insist on getting one pizza with pineapple on it.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, I insist on getting TWO pizzas with pineapple and you're forced to either develop a taste for it or just pick it off the pizza.

I wish someone else would pay for pizza once in a while, then they can decide whether or not pineapple is on it.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but then putting pineapple on a pizza becomes socially unacceptable abd you are shunned by even your closest friends for getting pizza that way.

I wish for a new coffee mug.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's chipped and the handle is cracked.

I wish for 29 sweaters made of bologna to be shipped to a random person in Abu Dhabi who will trade them to a woman in Norway for the complete works of Douglas Adams in Portuguese and a Diet Cherry Coke.

[PinkFairy]

Sheesh...

Granted, but the diet cherry Coke is flat.

I wish the dog next door would stop barking incessantly.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but now every other dog in the neighborhood starts barking incessantly.

I wish Forum Games wasn't dead.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it comes back as a zombie and now your computer is trying to eat your brains.

I wish I didn't have to reset all my passwords because of some rhymes-with-ducking hacker.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, because your hacker had already been blocked from accessing this network. You're welcome.

I wish it wasn't so blazing hot.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you're in Antarctica.

I wish I hadn't bought a T-shirt for $18.00 that was the wrong size.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you paid $180 for the T-shirt that is the wrong size.

I wish I could find the memory card that has my Final Fantasy VII saved game on it.

[mrz84]

Granted, except it has a save from the first save point in game over your original save.

I wish to resurrect this thread...

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but I can't guarantee the next post.

I wish that I knew what I know now, when I was younger.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but in order to avoid causing any time paradoxes, you don’t do anything differently

I wish I hadn’t broken my arm.

[TheDarkOne]

EDIT —sorry, accidental double-post.

[mrz84]

Granted, you broke your leg instead

I wish 2021 has no problems...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but at 11:50 PM Dec 31st 2020 the Earth gets demolished in make way for a hyperspace bypass. So no problems.

I wish I had no injuries of any kind.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but now the thread is dead.

I wish this thread wasn’t dead.

[mrz84]

Granted, but by using my necromantic mod powers its a zombie. 2022 is gonna have a zombie apocalypse now.

I wish that my cat lost some weight.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but he (she?) gains it allback soon afterward.

I wish I could fall back asleep after waking up to use the bathroom.

[mrz84]

Granted, but only if a cat sleeps on your face.

I wish for peace and relaxation

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you’re im a coma.

I wish a cat sleeping or my face was not a requirement for my last wish.

[mrz84]

Granted, but I can only grant it if not in a coma...

I wish the world was a better place...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but only certain areas, and you’re not in one of them.

I wish I could figure out how to fix my roommate’s computer.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then he moves out. Oh, and the thread dies. There is no causal relationship between these two events.

I wish people still played this game.

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but you have to deal with me once in a blue moon.

I wish that blue moons were more frequent.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but now when it isn’t blue it goes through all the other six colors in the visible color spectrum.

I wish people realized there are seven colors in the visible spectrum, not six.

[mrz84]

Granted, but half the people become color blind as a result

I wish my cat would stop knocking stuff off my table when he wants anything from me...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted now he also does it even if he doesn’t want anything from you.

I wish to not be one of those color-blind people.