The Neverending Cheat

[TheDarkOne]

Here is how this works. A "secret cheat" for a nonexistent game is started, and the next poster continues it with another cheat, and so on. For example...

POST 1: To warp past the ninja assassin in the third stage, hold Select and press Square when you...
POST 2: ...jump to the platform with three crates, Break the crate on the left to find...
POST 3: ...a secret tunnel leading to a room with four chests. Open chest 3 and then 2 to get...

...and so on. Get the idea? Continue on from the above example.

[CJC]

...open the dance menu. Input the Truffle Shuffle, then...

[TheDarkOne]

...make sure you have at least 4 potions. When the merchant appears, sell him four potions and he will give you the...

[mrz84]

...the Secret of Infinite Tacos which is required to complete...

[TheDarkOne]

...the taco truck minigame with a perfect score. This will gain you the title of Master Chef, which proves useful when you...

[CJC]

...are forced to eat the Incredibly Spicy Peppers in the Ancient Ruins. Normally you would black out and wake up in the prison, but with the Master Chef title equipped you instead...

[TheDarkOne]

...wake up just outside the prison cell, without having to break out of it. However, you still have to sneak past the unbeatable guard. The easiest way to do this is...

[bigjoe]

... hit Leisure Suit Larry up on the codec frequency 141.89. After listening to a long and drawn out explanation on how to get out of Lefty's, you must..

[Jaydeadone]

.....open the alchemy menu, combine the malatov cocktail with the rubber sex doll and any and all skooma you might be carrying. This combination will create....

[TheDarkOne]

...a rubber launcher of exploding skooma crystals. But this weapon has limited uses, so save it until you fight the six-headed dragon, but remember that he is immune to...

[CJC]

...lightning, so make sure not to electrify the floor when...

[TheDarkOne]

...you attack, but the dragon's main weakness can be exploited if you have the...

[rock_nog]

...jug of milk, because as we all know dragons can't resist dairy products, but they are lactose intolerant. Now weakened, you can finish the dragon off by...

[TheDarkOne]

...hitting him with a Blue Hadoken. However, Ken is the only one who can perform the Blue Hadoken, and the only way to unlock him as a playable character is...

[mrz84]

...defeat Dan Hibiki with a pot pie of +5 hilarity that you obtain by...

[bigjoe]

...scrubbing all the floors in Hyrule, for King Harkinian. Before doing the floor scrubbing quest, you must complete the...

[Binx]

...Cloister of Maggots to receive the arsenic for the poison bread you will feed to the king after scrubbing his floors, in revenge. Then you must travel to...

[TheDarkOne]

...Port Llast, where you will be giving the quest to kill all the werewolves, but you can only find the main werewolf if you have obtained the...

[Binx]

... Legendary Dog Food Can of Merossa. Upon seeing the enchanted, neverending supply of food, the head werewolf becomes your slave, which is really good, because you'll need him to...

[TheDarkOne]

...defeat the wizard Marcos, whose main weakness is a fear of wolves. But when you are fighting him, be sure to steal the Mask Of Kuathor, which gives you the power to...

[Binx]

...control the minds all of the wizard's followers, and force them to hold down the wizard while you torture him for information about...

[bigjoe]

...the flying weiner dogs of Xappamappamamatui. After borrowing a boat from Captain Neckbeard..

[rock_nog]

...you sail to the remote island of Xappamappamamatui to capture the flying weiner dogs. Using a net, you ensnare the dogs, so that you can...

[TheDarkOne]

...feed them to customers at the local Der Weineschnitzel (though actual wienerschnitzel has nothing to do with hot dogs). If you can successfully feed 100 customers in a row, you'll be rewarded with...

[CJC]

...the Kaizo difficulty level being unlocked. Wait three seconds, and then press A. Then...

[TheDarkOne]

...the game will restart, but you will have everything you had up to that point, except for plot-central items such as the...

[superstarashad]

...Wand of Pirateology. With this you can...

[TheDarkOne]

...summon the pirate ship to transport you to one of five locations. However, you first have to unlock these locations, which can only be done by...

[Tamamo]

...deafeating tiamat with flare , dont got flare. turn th dmn game off an fo buy an easier game or just use break. with this complete head back to the temple of chaos...

[TheDarkOne]

...where you will fight the giant Martha Stewart robot, but she can easily be defeated if you have the Blue Sword, which will cause the robot to malfunction if hit three consecutive times. When this occurs, hold Select and press Circle six times before the robot explodes. What this will do...

[TheDarkOne]

...is cause this thread to die.

[mrz84]

However, if you defeated the secret Phoenix boss and obtained one of its feathers, it might cause it to revive! Which unlocks...

[TheDarkOne]

...the bonus level. If you can collect at least 75 silver tokens within the time limit, you will receive the...

[Dimentio]

...The Legendary Bacon Stick TM, which...

[TheDarkOne]

...gives you Bacon Power, which in addition to repelling angry birds, also gives you the ability to...

[bigjoe]

..date Lafawnduh from Napoleon Dynamite. When out on the date with Lafawnduh,you are presented with three dialogue options, if you...

[Dimentio]

...Choose a 4th option, you unlock...

[Chris Miller]

...Kim Kardashian's bra hook. What did you do to deserve having her inflicted on you? Better gtfo, but the only door...

[TheDarkOne]

...that will lead to freedom requires a password, which you will only know if you have the Book Of Passage, and to acquire that, you must...

[mrz84]

...must perform a lengthy (but oddly humorous) fetch-quest for the Knights Who Say Ni involving a shrubbery and a herring (among other things). Once you do that...

[Dimentio]

...You enter the door, are ripped apart by space-time, and become the final boss of the now unlocked secret New Game Ultra mode.

[bigjoe]

.. however, because the player chooses not to fight the last boss but goes instead to fight some silly would be secret boss, never thinking to end the game, you are forced to dwindle at the end of the New Game Ultra mode, until..

[TheDarkOne]

...you hold Select and press Circle six times, then keep holding Circle on the sixth press, release Select, and then press and hold Square, then release Circle and press it twice more, then release Square. If this is done correctly, it will...

[bigjoe]

...slow the speed of light slightly, allowing you to compress time and re-enact Final Fantasy 8 on a metaphysical level. However, Xenogears gets mad at you for cheating on it, and...

[TheDarkOne]

...erases all your game saves. But if you had a save where your total play time contains the number 6, this save won't be erased. It will start you at the very last boss with all the strongest equipment and 99 of all healing items. Before fighting the boss, make sure you are equipped with...

[bigjoe]

..The board game Scattergories, as this will trigger a memory he's not comfortable with, he will unleash his ultimate attack, the finger flit on the side of your arm, which will do a whopping 0.0000001 damage. Frustrated by how pitiful a last boss he is, your party refuses to fight him, making a vow never to speak to him again, unless..

[TheDarkOne]

...you cast the Ultima spell, but be warned that if you cast this, it will cause massive overkill damage, making it impossible to get his item drop, which is...

[mrz84]

...a piece of cheese so delicious, that it...

[TheDarkOne]

...will restore you completely, and also make you gain five levels. However, if you don't eat it, you can trade it later for an optional but extremely useful item, the...

[bigjoe]

..the Ezredank of Glarzare. However, not knowing what an Ezredank is, you force yourself to Comstankulate a Glerbizordior. This incalculable move causes you to regurgitate the piece of cheeze,lose 500,000 levels, be unborn, and become nothingness...

[TheDarkOne]

...unless you remembered to Phungerwhoop your Acabanawatoppishon, which will reverse the nothingness and take you the land of Nirvana, where you will meet Dave Grohl. If you talk to him twice, he will give you a guitar pick, which you can use to...

[Dimentio]

...Unlock the Shrek's Onion Chestplate, the Sanic's Fast Boots, the Mountain Dew Dorito Leggings, and the Helm of Koridai, each obtained by luring the 4 weakest enemies in the game to the 4 corners of the earth and killing them with the guitar pick. Wearing this full set of meme armor will not only give you Over 9000 Defense and You Cannot Understand the True Form of your Attack, but it also gives you the top secret skill "Divide by Zero", which, when used...

[TheDarkOne]

...will unravel the fabric of reality, drawing all your enemies until a void of obvlivion. But, to avoid being drawn into it yourself, you need to be wearing the Amulet Of Mathematics, which will restore the fabric of reality by proving that you can't divide by zero. You can only get this Amulet if you...

[TheDarkOne]

...let this thread die. I guess that means everyone else has the amulet.