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View Full Version : I made a satisfying reddit comment



Beldaran
03-12-2015, 01:24 AM
I basically hate American culture, and I made a funny reddit comment (http://www.reddit.com/r/UpliftingNews/comments/2yqy77/gamestop_donates_50000_to_family_of_philly_cop/cpca5cq?context=3) about it. It was refreshing as fuck to write, I hope you will enjoy reading it.

Thank you,

Beldaran a.k.a. /u/magnus_von_black

Gleeok
03-12-2015, 01:43 AM
I'm not seeing it. :/

SUCCESSOR
03-12-2015, 05:07 AM
next time take a snapshot.

ctrl-alt-delete
03-12-2015, 01:25 PM
His comment wasn't uplifting.

Beldaran
03-12-2015, 04:09 PM
Some humorless cunt deleted it. There was a discussion about the joys of visiting old game stores in the 90's, before big box stores put everyone out of business. I replied with the following:

---------------
I totally agree. Corporate culture has sucked the fun out of practically everything. There used to be a family owned game store in my town. I loved visiting those nice people and buying their cool games, but they were driven out of business by Suits McShareholder and his pornographic obsession with SALES SALES SALES, GROWTH GROWTH GROWTH. That type of behavior has made the economy richer, and the world poorer.
Thank you for reading this comment by Magnus Von Black Would you like to sign up for our exclusive Magnus Von Black card? It comes with 99% off your purchase, which brings the grotesquely huge regular price down to an astoundingly normal amount. It also allows us to track all of your shopping habits because we are best friends now, and we also track your pooping habits. Would you like to sign up for a paid protection plan? You see, we just spent an hour convincing you that this is the greatest product ever, and so you bought it, but honestly it's a total piece of shit and it will break the second you get home. You should get our paid protection plan. It's only twice as expensive as the object itself. Also, you void the warranty if you use the object, but you can bring it in and have it fixed by our Nerd Squad. All they require is a key to your house, your e-mail passwords, and naked pictures of your wife (a friend's wife will work, if you are single or gay.) Thank you for shopping at SuperMonoCulture! We hope to see you again, and if you are unemployed, we have a coal mine under the store that you can work in for minimum wage and you will even get pee breaks as long as you sign up customers for our Platinum Super Debt Ridden Consumer Plastic Shit Card. Thank you, come again.

Chris Miller
03-12-2015, 04:22 PM
I would like to apply for an MvB card. I'll put SUCCESSOR up as collateral.

Beldaran
03-12-2015, 05:10 PM
I'll put SUCCESSOR up as collateral.

Yeah, well, SUCCESSOR hates me for some reason, so I'm not interested. However, if you could collect one of your farts in a jar, I would consider that to be worth slightly more. :pbbbt:

Chris Miller
03-12-2015, 05:18 PM
The jar fart's in the mail.

Brasel
03-12-2015, 08:22 PM
I'm lucky enough that I have a locally owned mom and pop game store near me. Literally ran by an old dude, his wife, and their son. It's a huge antique store with a crapload of retro and new games. I always take my business there before hitting up Gamestop.

SUCCESSOR
03-12-2015, 11:35 PM
http://armageddongames.net/attachment.php?attachmentid=173&d=1426217720

Tim
03-13-2015, 02:56 PM
This makes my peepee demonstrate good posture... For a banana.

Beldaran
03-14-2015, 01:09 AM
Yes, SUCCESSOR, I am butthurt because a random person on the internet dislikes me. Ouch, my butt.

Chris Miller
03-15-2015, 10:09 PM
That's no problem that can't be solved by:
http://sjmv.org/Campus/Class/scinventors/bandaid/box1.jpg

SUCCESSOR
03-17-2015, 05:43 PM
Yes, SUCCESSOR, I am butthurt because a random person on the internet dislikes me. Ouch, my butt.

The fact that you assume I dislike you and make a degrading joke at my expense confirms thy butthurt.

http://static.gamespot.com/uploads/original/792/7922233/2402403-3544010122-Have%2B.jpg

Beldaran
03-21-2015, 07:23 PM
[applies the cream]

I can't feel any difference. I guess I assume you don't like me because of your confrontational and mostly insulting behavior. I will try to get over the random-internet-stranger antipathy though. I feel like there is light at the end of the long dark tunnel of being disliked by a random, faceless person on the internet.

rock_nog
03-22-2015, 05:32 PM
Let's face it, Beldaran, no one likes you. We tolerate you, yes, maybe even love you, but no one actually likes you.

Chris Miller
03-22-2015, 08:09 PM
[applies the cream]

I can't feel any difference. I guess I assume you don't like me because of your confrontational and mostly insulting behavior. I will try to get over the random-internet-stranger antipathy though. I feel like there is light at the end of the long dark tunnel of being disliked by a random, faceless person on the internet.

Wrong cream. That one is for the [ahem] in SUCCESSOR's [ahem].

SUCCESSOR
03-22-2015, 10:26 PM
[applies the cream]

I can't feel any difference. I guess I assume you don't like me because of your confrontational and mostly insulting behavior. I will try to get over the random-internet-stranger antipathy though. I feel like there is light at the end of the long dark tunnel of being disliked by a random, faceless person on the internet.

Maybe assuming things is your problem to begin with. Try a little less of that. Or maybe your problem is you lack the facilities to recognize humor.

Beldaran
03-23-2015, 02:13 AM
Or maybe your problem is you lack the facilities to recognize humor.


Pfff, not true. (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hLIJopjF9xs)

.... actually, it might be a little true. I'm sure that one reason you're so rude to me is that I was a massive asshole to you at some point, but I think by now you've more than returned the favor. Let go of your hate, for hate leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and suffering leads to butthurt ointment.

ctrl-alt-delete
03-23-2015, 04:59 AM
You girls stop.

Tim
03-23-2015, 10:30 AM
pls make love. name the baby tim

SUCCESSOR
03-23-2015, 05:28 PM
'm sure that one reason you're so rude to me is that I was a massive asshole to you at some point, but I think by now you've more than returned the favor. Let go of your hate, for hate leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering, and suffering leads to butthurt ointment.

Once again you are going off your unfounded assumptions. I guess I have to say it plainly. I don't dislike you. I certainly don't hate you. I have absolutely nothing against you. You have done nothing to me and I have not once intended to offend you.

SUCCESSOR
03-23-2015, 05:43 PM
pls make love. name the baby tim
I would

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/94061979/AGN/New%20Folder/srs.png
But I am worried about the nightmares.

King Link
04-01-2015, 10:54 AM
Literally everything about this thread is awesome. Made my morning.