My Hill

[TheDarkOne]

I used to play this on another forum. Here is how it works. There is a hill and your objective is to find a way to take it from the person who currently has it by getting through whatever defense they have, then set up your own defense for the next person to get through. Death is never permanent if you are killed when someone takes the hill from you.

So I will start:

I claim the hill and surround it with ten-foot-high electrified barbed wire.

My hill.

[CJC]

I disable the power to your electric fence by cutting the power lines, then--using wire-cutters--I cut through the fence and push you out, claiming the hill.

I protect the hill by baiting the ground around it with delicious pancake breakfasts.

My hill.

[MasterSwordUltima]

I strap on my big boots and stomp through the pancake buffet up to the top of the hill and push CJC right off.
I dig a moat around the hill; filling it with LAVA. Real bad guy style.

I raise my flag and declare "This is my hill now."

[TheDarkOne]

I use my super jump boots to jump over your moat and land right behind you, giving you a nice shove so that you tumble down the hill, right into the lava. I cover the hill with an impenetrable dome just like the one that covers Chester's Mill.

My hill

[mrz84]

Doh! ninjaed...

I borrow Deadpool's teleporter and teleport through the dome.

I surround the hill with a 10 foot tall, 5 foot thick wall of solid steel

[TheDarkOne]

I use an acetylene torch to burn a hole through the wall.

I set up a laser grid which is powered by stored solar power (so no power lines to cut) that covers the entire hill and blocks teleportation.

My hill.

[rock_nog]

I put mirrors on the sides of a refrigerator box and walk through the lasers hidden inside my box, while the mirrors reflect the lasers back to their emitters and destroy them.

I engulf the hill in a tiny black hole - the event horizon is just on the edge of the hill and because I am inside it, I cannot be pushed out. I also wear an anti-gravity belt so the immense forces do not crush me.

[TheDarkOne]

I reverse your black hole into a white hole, trapping you inside it while the hill is on the outside.

I encase the hill in the center of a tesseract. Good luck finding a way through that.

My hill.

[MasterSwordUltima]

I casually remind you that the tesseract is infact, an object of fiction - and does not exist. So I just stroll on over and punt ya off muh hill.

A nice freshly painted white picket fence surrounds this hill now. And the gate is totally LOCKED FROM THE INSIDE!

[mrz84]

I reach over the top of the fence and unlock it.

I surround the hill with a 10 meter tall, 10 meter thick wall of diamond.

And on the subject of fictional stuff, I used Deadpool's teleporter, which is fictional, in an earlier hill take over attempt.

[TheDarkOne]

I use a diamond-tipped circular saw to cut a hole through your diamond wall, then chase you off the hill.

I hire a physicist and mathematician to prove that a tesseract can, in fact, exist, and so I again place the hill in the center of one.

My hill.

[PunkNMetal71]

If you are mortal, the tesseract would disintegrate you within seconds of your picking it up, bye! I then surround the hill with a piranha filled moat. MY hill...

[TheDarkOne]

I throw a side of beef into the moat, and while your piranha are occupied with that, I swim across the moat. I then ascend the hill and uppercut you Mortal Kombat-style, sending you flying from the hill.

I get a legion of deadly and well-armed ninja to guard the hill.

My hill.

[PunkNMetal71]

I send up a cloud of poisonous gas to eradicate your legion of "deadly" and "well armed" ninja. When it clears, I boot you from the hill and set up a 30 foot tall electrified fence that is powered by solar energy reserves, as well as four packs of wolves. My hill...

[TheDarkOne]

I get in a helicopter and fly over your fence and wolves, landing right on top of the hill.

I set up automatic machine gun turrets with infra-red targeting and motion sensors to blast anyone who tries to climb the hill.

[PunkNMetal71]

I resurrect the ninja legion that I bumped off a couple of posts back and send them up to take the fire from your machine gun turrets, then I kick you down the hill and take it over by coating most of the hill with ice so that everyone who climbs it will slide off... MY hill...

[TheDarkOne]

I climb the hill with a flamethrower, melting your ice. Too bad you get in the path of the flamethrower. Oh, well.

I surround the hill with a dimensioal vortex so the anyone who starts coming up the hill will find themselves walking down it on the other side (and turning around and going back will produce the same result).

My hill.

[PunkNMetal71]

An "dimensioal" vortex does not exist... I climb to the top of the hill and send you flying from it.

I then cover the hill with blades and thorns and shards of glass, shredding anyone foolhardy enough to try to climb MY hill...

[TheDarkOne]

I come up the hill wearing full plate mail. I then push you off the hill into all your sharp stuff.

I set up massive speakers to blast One Direction "music" whenever anyone gets close.

[MasterSwordUltima]

I set off a nuclear explosion within the ionosphere above the hill to halt all electronics. The music stops. So I aim a big ol' magnet at you, which draws your platemail onto it.

Neat, this is my hill now. So I bring a couple Chain-Chomps along and brick 'em all over the place.

[TheDarkOne]

I put on a Sledghammer Suit (from Super Mario Bros. 3) and throw hammers at your Chain Chomps, taking them out easily. I then throw one at you that knocks you from the hill.

I set up a wall of fire that surrounds the hill. Just past that is a fifty-meter wide pit filled with poison-tipped spikes, and on the other side of that is a ring of whirling blades. And I stand at the top of the hill with a fully-loaded .44 Magnum and plenty of extra ammo.

My hill.

[mrz84]

Space station cannon the whole thing. Once I confirm all trace of your defenses are gone, I take the hill and deploy my defenses.
I create a trench that is a mile wide, and 5 miles deep around the hill. 1 foot from the edge, I build a wall of spikes that jut in all directions that is 1 mile high, and 10 feet thick.
There are auto-turrets that shoot exploding bunnies at intruders outside the wall from the top, lining the entire top of the wall. Lastly, I build a house of diamond around myself.

My hill.

[MasterSwordUltima]

I was killed in my last attempt to capture the hill. So I just float my ghostly ass on through all that meta game, and spook you out.

Legends now tell of the spooky ass ghost that haunts the hill. My hill, of course.

[CJC]

That hill is haunted. I go find a new hill. Or rather, I cause an avalanche by clapping near a mountain and MAKE a new hill.

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

Your hill is not the original hill, so nobody tries to take it from you.

I call my Ghostbuster buddies to get rid of Ultima's ghost. I keep the diamond bunker for myself, and I recruit a team of highly trained Special Forces soldiers armed to the teeth and equipped with bulletproof body armor and gas masks and I use my dark wizard powers to grant them magical defenses against anything else.

My hill.

[mrz84]

I teleport a miniature black hole above the hill, sucking the mercs and the other defenses into it. Before the hill itself is sucked in I teleport it back to its original area.

I rebuild my house of diamond, line the perimeter with exploding bunny cannons, and hire Deathstroke to patrol the area.

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

I hack into your network system and reprogram your bunny cannons to attack anyone besides me (which includes Deathtroke). Once that is taken care of, I use a diamond cutting laser to open your diamond house and decapitate you with a scissor-slash of the twin katana I brought with me.

I set up particle disintegration pylons around the perimeter of the hill so that anyone walking between them will become atomic dust. Oh, and they cover the entire hill so no going over them. And anyone trying to dig under them will have contend with my subterranian monstrous worms.

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

It's been months and nobody has tried to take the hill. I guess I win.

[Tamamo]

I buy the hill from you in exchange for seeing the straightest shota.

http://i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/933/500/ef8.png

[TheDarkOne]

You never set up any defenses so I easily take back the hill.

As before, I set up particle disintegration pylons around the perimeter of the hill so that anyone walking between them will become atomic dust. They cover the entire hill so no one can over them. And if anyone tries to dig under them, they will have to contend with my subterranian monstrous worms.

My hill.

[mrz84]

I send the Vision (from Marvel's Avengers comics) to eliminate your defenses. He can become intangible so your defenses are moot and he easily disarms the pylons. As for the worms, I have a bunch of giant robots take care of them.

My defenses include Vision, numerous giant robots, the cast of Golden Girls (who would like to hear them drone on? I have earplugs and Vision can disable his audio sensors if they bug him. The robots? Same as Vision) and a herring.

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

I storm the hill with an army of My Little Ponies because everyone knows you don't mess with MLP. Then I fry up and eat your herring.

I set up the My Little Ponies to guard the hill because everyone knows you don't mess with MLP,

My hill.

[rock_nog]

I tell Fluttershy that you've been in her shed, and she straight up murders you.

I plant a bunch of saplings on the hill, gather an army of Ents, and tell them that anyone trying to take the hill is trying to hurt the trees.

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

I tell the Ents that you are trying to hurt the trees, and you can figure out the rest.

I turn the hill invisible and teleport it to another location so nobody can find it in order to take it.

My hill.

[mrz84]

Using a ritual sacrifice of pop tarts, I make a deal with a sugar-loving demon to locate the hill and make it visible again. Since you had no other defenses, I now have the hill.

My defenses this time consist of an army of immortal kittens with the combat ferocity of the bunny from Monty Python and the Holy Grail, but loyal to me. I also have the Gundams from Gundam Wing set on auto-pilot to patrol the area against anything that isn't a kitten, a gundam from Gundam Wing, or myself.

My hill. :kitty:

[TheDarkOne]

I fly a Gundam past your Gundams (since I am in a Gundam, they don't stop me) and blast you from the hill. I then use a sonic disruptor to free the kittens from your mind control and they all go back to their loving homes.

I keep the Gundams around for backup defense. I also have the giant robots from Go-Lion and Dairugger XV (known is the US as Voltron III and Voltron I, respectively), along with every form of Megazord from every incarnation of Power Rangers. Also, I have the various Transformers that linked together to form giant robots as well.

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

It's been three months and nobody has tried to take the hill from me. I guess I win.

My hill.

[Tamamo]

I smash you hill in half n take the bigger hill and dummon 20 moon lords from terraria.

My half hill

[TheDarkOne]

You didn't actually get past my defenses (read the first post) so your attempt to do that fails.

Still my whole hill.

[mrz84]

I EMP the area making the various giant robots useless. With an army of robot ninja pirates at my command, I have turrets that fire beams that send the target it hits to a random dimension set to auto-track the area (excluding myself and the robot ninja pirate army) and to top it off, I make a house of diamond for myself on top of the hill.

My hill. :kitty:

[Tamamo]

I drop the moon on your hil fattening everythong i then put it back in the sky and make a mound of dirt and sit here for my next victim to be come an be swallowed by ma moon physicslivong earth magic and last but certinly not least my cute seductiv tail no man o woman can resist.

[TheDarkOne]

I have the Gods revoke your moon physics powers and then use my dark powers to sever your adorable fluffy tail. With your defenses thus removed I easily reclaim the hill and remove you from it. I restore my giant robots (Go-Lion, Dairugger XV, all Megazords, all Transformers that formed giant robots), and also set up a photonic cannon that will automatically fire at anyone who comes within twenty feet of the top of the hill.

My hill.

[Tamamo]

You forgot my living earth magic i awaaken my sixth ancestor form and swallow your robots back into the ground dorged metal to ore. I regro my tail and over com yo cannon with my fluffiness then i go back to my moumd and mee luna and absorb he soul into my til and summon A gint foot and force you to wash it four you next turn.

do not touch the tail.

i si infron of my dir moun a ply cards of rachnera

[TheDarkOne]

I drop a nuke on your dirt mound, obliterating it and you completely. I surround the area with eighteen-foot thick and six-mile high electrified barbed wire. Oh, and I also encase it in a magical field that nullifies moon physics, earth magic, or fluffiness.

My crater.

[Tamamo]

Idig hol un nederneath and feel your crater wil water an kick you ove th wire.


MY SWIMMING POOL

i also stoole you defense too

[TheDarkOne]

I still have control of over the defenses, so I slip in through a secret entrance known only to me and only I know how to access it. I then put one edge of the still-electrified barbed wire into the water while you are swimming around, and you can figure out the rest.

I then drain the water and invert the crater, turning it back into a hill. Keeping my current defenses, I also create an army of fluffy bunnies and kitties. You don't f*** with fluffy bunnies and kitties.

[mrz84]

Unless you're me. :kitty: After spending a long period of time mastering magic (most notable mind alteration and telekinesis), I return and use a spell to have the bunnies and kitties become my army. I then attach laser beams to their heads. Because why not? My magic destroys the fence by sending it into the sun while the laser bunnies and kitties destroy anything else that remains. I leave the magic barrier as it will protect from magic I can't protect myself from. I create a personal magic barrier that behaves like Magneto's personal magnetic field and then sit back and enjoy some Dr. Pepper. My hill. :kitty:

[TheDarkOne]

I poisoned your Dr. Pepper supply while you were doing all the other stuff.

I cover the hill with a gateway into 32-fold dimensional cross-rip. Have fun.

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

Months have passed and no one has taken the hill. I WIN!

[PinkFairy]

As an aspiring goddess, I easily pass through your dimensional cross-tip, then punt you into it, sealing it on both ends to trap you inside.

I'm an all-powerful goddess. Just let any puny mortal try to take the hill.

[mrz84]

Oh, a goddess? Challenge accepted!

I win a game of chance against Death itself and as payment, have him take you to the afterlife (because Death, if Supernatural is to be believed) comes for us all in the end. Even gods.) I then set up a magic circle around the hill to protect from Death and create an army of Dr. Pepeer fueled robots to guard me.

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

I tell my two cousins who practically live on Dr. Pepper what your robots are fueled with and they make short work of them. I then cross your magic circle (since I am not Death it won't stop me) and drop-kick you off the hill. Then I get all the technology from all versions of Star Trek to serve both defense and offense purposes.

My hill.

[mrz84]

I get the giant space tube thing from the Star Trek movie that involves time travel and whales (ah, OG Star Trek, you were weird, but we loved ya for it) and use it to bring untold destruction to all of the ST tech you have. I then have it hover over the hill, ready to unleash it upon unwary foes.

My hill.

[PinkFairy]

I summon my fairy army (it's nice to have one of these at my disposal) to dismantle your space tube using fairy magic that you humans can't understand. I then imprisons you in an enchanted forest full of such beauty that you don't want to leave even if you could. Meanwhile, the warrior fairies become the guardians what is now...

My hill.

[mrz84]

I awe and wonder at the forest...and then notice the distinct lack of the Doctor of Pepper drink and am suddenly demystified by its magical wonder. I escape via a plot hole (Authors can manipulate those at will ya know) and then gather an army of tentacled monsters and send them after the fairies. Hilarity (and some weird porn) ensues. Since the army of tentacled monsters vanished with the fairies, I assemble the A-Team (because you don't mess with Mr. T) and they are paid handsomely to guard...

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

I remind the A-Team that their shiw was cancelled and the movie reboot was an abysmal failure. They are so disheartened by this news that they give up and leave.

I have Armored Fleet Dairugger XV and Beast King GoLion standing guard over...

My hill.

[mrz84]

I hit them with EMP bombs and then throw the remains into a convenient plot hole. I assemble a team consisting of Auron from FFX, Yosho/Tenchi's Grandpa from Tenchi Muyo, Gilgamesh from Final Fantasy (any of them really though the one in FF Type-0 guarded a bridge against an entire army by himself so let's go with that one), Kakashi from Naruto (not Shitpudon), General Leo (before his death in FFVI at the hands of Kefka, everyone's favorite psycho clown), Zalbag from FF Tactics, and a poptart (yes, you rad that right) to protect...

My Hill.

[TheDarkOne]

I eat the Pop-Tart and it grants ne with the usual awesome magical powers that come from Pop-Tarts, allowing me to easily walk past all your defenders. Once they are dealt with, I remove you from the hill and reclaim my Armored Fleet Dairugger XV and Beast King GoLion robots who are now shielded against EMPs of any kind. I also add the six-armed robot from that other anine that was almost turned into a thurd Voltron series just for good measure. Oh, and it has the same EMP shielding.

My zarking hill.

[mrz84]

I have Washu (Tenchi Muyo, greatest scientific genius in the universe and all-powerful goddess) hack the mechs and shut them down, then throw them into plot holes again. After building a small tower on top of the hill with a wall surrounding it (about 15 ft tall), I summon an army of robot ninja pirates with EMP shielding to patrol...

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

Washu fails at trying to hack into my mechs because if you knew anything about these guys you would know that they are essentially sentient machines abd hacking them is therefore not possible. So they are still there, and just to beef up my defenses I get all six Decepticon jets to serve as first-wave defenders, and also have the giant decepticon laser cannon Shockwave to serve as my final wave of defense. All Decepticons have EMP shielding and are also sentient so can’t be hacked.

Hill be mine.

[PinkFairy]

Using my goddess powers again I disable all your robots and melt them down, then punt you from the hill. I then reforge the melted down robots into a giant robotic rainbow butterfly unicorn kitten, with powers of kawaii but beneath that, armed to the death with massive weaponry to obliterate anyone who come anywhere near...

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

I manage to sneak up on your robotic RBUK and dismantle it. Taking one of it's deadliest weapns for myself, I march up to the top of the hill and use it on you.

I surround the hill with an impenetrable magic barrier that will instantly cause cold, fire, and acid damage to anyone who comes into contact with it. Also, it's a perfect sphere with it's bottom half underground so you can't tunnel under it either.

Ma hill, suckas!

[mrz84]

Being immune to elemental damage (except Blue and Doctor Pepper, I get healed by that awesome shit), I walk though the shield unharmed and sneak up behind you, knocking you out. I boot you outta the shield (keeping the weapon), keeping the shield, and adding Copy Mega Man (boss version of Mega Man from one of the NES games) on loan from Dr. Wily (he needs funds for his various projects, so ya) and the entire Robot Master roster from Mega Man 2 (Heat, Bubble, Shadow, etc) including the Doc Robots from Mega Man 3.

My Hill, boi.

[TheDarkOne]

The shield was created by me so I can dispel it. The weapon I used was a one-shot deal so it's useless now. I use Game Genie to get past all your Mega Man stuff and catapult kick you from the hill. I then have every fighter from Mortal Kombar (up to and uncluding UMK3) r, with all their powers and under legal contract that there is no infighting. Also, I rewrote the program so it's umhackable,

This hill is my hill, and only my hill.

[PinkFairy]

Your Game Genie codes also have the side effect of temporarily freezing the game at random intervals. It is during one of these freezes that Midway discovers you illegally used characters from heir games and take legal action. As part ot the settlement, you have to give them the hill. I then buy the hill at a discount, and have it guarded by legions of dragons. Also, Bahamut and Tiamat are my personal bodyguard atop of...

My hill.

[mrz84]

I hire Bayonetta to slay the dragons (she punched god in the face once so she's got this) and then turn them into cheese statues of themselves (but they can't really do anything than look delicious) and after Bayonetta departs, I have towers every 30 feet around the hill with guards armed with anti-magic weaponry that is made unhackable. The towers are anti-magic shielded. I top it off with a cherry on top of...


My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

I release a deadly toxin that kills all your guards. With them removed, I plant explosives at the base of each of your towers. I detonate them all simultaneously and the resulting blast is so massive it there isn't even ash left of you. I cover the hill with every form of defensive spell, and keep offensive spells ready to launch anyone who might find some way past all my magical defenses.

My smegging hill.

[PinkFairy]

You forget that I am a fairy goddess and can resist your magical spells. I walk right through all your defenses and take you out with some awesome form of fairy goddess power that you have never seen before (and never will again). I then protect the hill using all the Espers from Final Fantasy VI as guards and also steal Dark One's twin katana to use as personal defense should anyone reach the top of...

My hill/

[mrz84]

I have Kefka turn all of the espers into magicite that he then gives to me. I hire every badass anime/video game swordsmaster to fight you while I use a Green Latern ring I "borrowed" from one of them to create a giant gold club out of energy and knowck you miles away. I keep the swordsmasters willing to stay for room and board in exchange for their services, add fairy magic to the list of things the dome shield guards against, and sit on a throne made of Dr. Pepper cans like the Iron Throne from Game of Thrones (except DP as mentioned instead of swords, which you think sitting on swords would be uncomfortable, not to mention dangerous)

My hill.

[TheDarkOne]

Since I created said sphere (remember, it's not a dome), I dispel it. I reclaimed my twin katana (Masamune and Muramasa) from Pink Fairy in the other thread, so with them in hand I take the one swordmaster that chose to stay with you. My sword easily shred through your DP throne and you like butter. I then replace my magical sphere and surround the inside of the sphere with my army of undead samurai. And I stand at the top of the hill with my twin katana ready for any challengers.

My gol-darned, dab-natted, golly-gee-whiz-banged hill.

[mrz84]

I walk through your shield again and with a large bag of Phoenix Downs, destroy all of your undead. I then create a springboard (ie: Sonic the Hedgehog) under you and send you flying through a series of more springboards that sends you into the ocean far away. I remove the shield and hire Deadpool as a bodyguard. To finish it all off, I reform your shield but reprogram it to keep you out and can't access it.

My (and Deadpool's) Hill. (I don't remember adding that and Deadpool's part...Deadpool are you messing with my post?)

[TheDarkOne]

My shield is a creation of magic and can't be "reprogrammed." so it is still mine and and again dispel it. It is then you find out that Deadpool was working for me the entire time and together we remove you from the hill, hanging you on the top of a flagpole with duct tape over your mouth. Forgoing the shield (since it obviously doesn't seem to be working), I cover the bottom of the hill with 2-liter bottles of Dr. Pepper. which are hooked up to a very intricate mechanism that instantly kills anyone who touches them. Oh, and past those are six rows of those spinning blade things from Mortal Kombat Armageddon and past those are all the bosses from every MK game ever.

You know whose hill this is.