Item Request Game

[Ventus]

Okay Lets see how this game will work.

-Rules of play-

You request an item to do something and the next poster will give you item that will help you, But the item will have a negative side affect.

-Example-
Poster #1: I need a Item that will recover my Health...

Poster #2: Here is a "Crappy Potion" It recovers your health... But also shortens you life by 5 years every time you drink it.
(And then poster #2 Will say that they'll need an item that does something and so on...)

-End of Example-

-----------------------
Okay I'll start.

I need a item that will make me the most awesome person ever!

[mrz84]

Here's a jacket of awesomeness! Side effects include awesome-ness and eternal bad gas.

I need a can of infinite dr pepper.

[Xyvol]

Ok, you can have this infinite can of flat Dr. Pepper.

I need some boots of flying.

[Ventus]

Here is a boot of flying, sorry I could only find one. And also it takes 30 D Batterys. Which are not included.

I need an Magic Sword.

[mrz84]

You have a magic sword that talks, but in pig-latin.

I need a box of strawberry pocky.

[Orithan]

Here, have your Strawberry Pocky. Now your hands die off because the box carried a horrible toxin that acts on your hands.

I want a spellcard. Those fairies (http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Three_Mischievous_Fairies) shall pay for what happened earlier today

[Zim]

Here, have your Strawberry Pocky. Now your hands die off because the box carried a horrible toxin that acts on your hands.

I want a spellcard. Those fairies (http://touhou.wikia.com/wiki/Three_Mischievous_Fairies) shall pay for what happened earlier today

Your new spellcard is a brand new spellcard that summons the three fairy girls to your location so they can wreak havoc on you.
I need a new keyboard for my laptop because I spilled milk on it and the q button needs extra hard pressing to work now.

[SpykStorm]

Have a keyboard that connects with a keyboard port instead of USB, which makes it useless for most laptops.

I need an item that can fetch my coffee, which I left in another room.

[mrz84]

Here's one of those small vacuum robot thingies modded to "fetch" coffee and bring to its owner, however it has a 90% chance of dropping coffee into the pesron's lap.

I need some new oatmeal flavors to try

[Zim]

Here's one of those small vacuum robot thingies modded to "fetch" coffee and bring to its owner, however it has a 90% chance of dropping coffee into the pesron's lap.

I need some new oatmeal flavors to try

You're new multi-flavored variety pack includes fecal, vomit, and urine flavors.
I need a new guitar amplifier!

[CJC]

Here's your new guitar amplifier. It starts at eleven, and no matter how far your other equipment is it always causes a spiking feedback.


I need a new set of spiral notebooks!

[mrz84]

Here's your (used) spiral notebooks! The previous owner thought they were the next DaVinci. They were sadly mistaken.

I'd like a new pair of scissors.

[CJC]

Here are two dinner knives taped together at the handles. If you wiggle them enough, they might be able to cut paper.


I want a new mouse.

[Zim]

Your new mouse is straight out of the laboratory. From a long line of test-mice, infected with various virii, and only interested in anything with the scent of cheese emanating from it, your mouse is the less-than-ideal pet.

I would like a new pre-furnished home.

Side note:
In typing that sentence I just learned that my Windows 7 auto correct system thinks that pee-furnished is an acceptable word, and pre-furnished is not.

[mrz84]

Here's your pre-furnished home. Be wary of the previous owners though, they haunt the place and they don't like unwanted guests.

I'd like a lamp with a genie that grants infinite wishes.

[CJC]

Your new mouse is straight out of the laboratory. From a long line of test-mice, infected with various virii, and only interested in anything with the scent of cheese emanating from it, your mouse is the less-than-ideal pet.

I would like a new pre-furnished home.

Side note:
In typing that sentence I just learned that my Windows 7 auto correct system thinks that pee-furnished is an acceptable word, and pre-furnished is not.
Yes, but can it plug into my computer? : {P




Here's your pre-furnished home. Be wary of the previous owners though, they haunt the place and they don't like unwanted guests.

I'd like a lamp with a genie that grants infinite wishes.
Granted. However, the only wish the Genie can grant is access to more wishes, so you can't wish for anything else!


I want a cheesecake.

[mrz84]

Here you go, its tuna flavored.

I want a reservation to a fancy restaurant.

[TheDarkOne]

Your reservation for 2:38 AM on December 28, 2503 is confirmed, sir.

I need something that will fix the numeric keypad on my computer without damaging any other part of the computer (including software).

[TheDarkOne]

OK, but in the process the thread dies.

I want something that will make people interested in this thread again.

[mrz84]

You receive a remote with a button that makes people want to post in this thread, but it has a cooldown of 7 days on it.

I want a Nintendo Switch.

[TheDarkOne]

OK, here's a lightswitch cover with the Nintendo logo on it.

I want an opener for twist-off caps for people with weak hands (like me).

[mrz84]

You get said opener, but it explodes after one use.

I wish for a cooler with ice for my Dr. Pepper to be stored and cooled in.

[PinkFairy]

You can have the cooler but you'll have to supply the ice and Dr. Pepper yourself. And find some way to fix that gaping hole in the bottom.

I want a laptop of my own.

[TheDarkOne]

Here you go, a Window 95 laptop for you.

I wish Windows 10 didn't suck.

[PinkFairy]

This isn't the Make A Wish though it is very similar). I'm going to assume you meant you want a version of Windows 10 that doesn't suck...and you get it, right when Windows 11 comes out.

I want a PlayStation One Dual Shock controller where the analog stick works for games that don't officially support analog control.

[mrz84]

Granted, but instad of having a recharchable internal battery, it requires you to replace the 2 AA batteries whenever they lose their charge.

I request a prepaid debit/gift card worth at least $100.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but you can only use it at stores that accept gift cards from the First National Bank of Zimbabwe.

I would like more informatiom about PlayStation ONE controllers with rechargable internal batteries. Because last time I checked, you just plug them into the actual console.

[mrz84]

Granted, but its in a language you don't know and that's the only language the information is available in.

I wish for new phone for mobile gaming that isn't dead as soon as it arrives in the mail.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, enjoy your Nokia Lumia.

I wish mobile game progress could be transferred over to another device so that you don't have to start from scratch every time you upgrade.

[TheDarkOne]

Okay, but when you find a way to do that, you discover that doing so makes the device you transfer it to display all text in Japanese and you can't find the language setting (because it's in Japanese).

I want a wireless mouse that doesn't run out of battery power so fast.

[PinkFairy]

I'll give you one. It's a real live mouse (thus wireless) and it runs on life rather than batteries so it will never run out of battery power.

I want a new PS2 memory card.

P.S.
Does anyone know what causes the data on a PS2 memory card to become corrupted? And is there any way to recover the uncorrupted data?

[mrz84]

Granted, but its of the lowest memory possible and its has all of it used by crappy games.

I would like a 32 gb micro sd memory card for my new android phone.

Btw, a ps2 memory card can become corrupted when it is removed when the ps2 is trying to access info on it, or if removed while turning it off. Not sure what else could cause it, but there are a few ps2 memory card recovery software programs floating around that can easily be found via google. Haven't tried them myself, so I can't vouch for them.

[PinkFairy]

You get that SD card, but find it is full of downloaded Miley Cyrus songs and they are protected files that can't be deleted.

I wish singers were still judged on talent rather than looks.

[TheDarkOne]

As you have pointed out, this is not the Make A Wish thread.

Anyway, getting that would be easy, just make it where autotune doesn't exist and let's see how long they last.

[PinkFairy]

You didn't make a request.

I would like a version of the PS4 that ia backwards compatible with PS2 and PS1 software. Possibly PS3 as well if it isn't already.

[TheDarkOne]

You get that PS4 but because it doesn't use memory cards you are unable to save your progress on any of those old games.

I would like a wireless mouse that actually works right and doesn't run out of battery power so fast.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, it's made by your FAVORITE electronic company, Sabrent! You remember, the makers of that awesome gamepad that stopped working after a month,

I want Little Debbie snacks that won't make me fat and aren't bad for my health.

[mrz84]

You get those, but they all give you the most rancid of farts when you eat them and your body spontaneously can only surivive on them now.

I would like a Nintendo Switch.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, but it's the Japanese edition which is incompatible with most US televisions. Also, it can only play Japanese-made software.

I want a way to lose weight and keep it off without having to exercise.

[TheDarkOne]

There's always liposuction.

I want some toenail clippers that will actually clip my toenails without me needing to apply excessive force.

[mrz84]

Granted, but they automatically apply excessive force FOR you no matter how gently you use them.

I want an XBox One

[TheDarkOne]

You get the XBox One, just after Microsoft comes out with the XBox Two, which is not backwards compatible, and announces that everything for the Xbox One will be discontinued, including it's internet servers.

I want an iPad Air 2.

[PinkFairy]

Here you go, an iPad 2 made of air. You know, like an air guitar.

I want a laptop computer than runs Windows 7 but is still compatible with newer software,

[TheDarkOne]

You can have that, as long as you don't mind a Toshiba with an 8 inch monitor.

I want a coffee cup that I can put in the microwave without the handle getting so hot I need to use a potholder to take it out.

[mrz84]

Granted, the handle is immune to heat, but the rest of the cup absorbs heat like a goddamn sponge to the point it will melt if left outside of a fridge for more than 3 minutes at a time.

I wish humanity would get along better with each other.

[TheDarkOne]

That us not an item. This is the Item Request thread, not the Make A Wish thread.

I want a feature on the forums that makes it easier for people to remember which thread they are posying in

[PinkFairy]

That feature is now implemented, but nobody is "posying" in the forums so nobody notices the feature.

I want a computer that will alert people to misspelled words and give them the option to correct them before they post.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the window of opportunity to confirm the correction is only 1/5 of a second, meaning you have to have quick reflexes to make use of it (in other words be the Flash/Superman/Sonic the Hedgehog/whateverotherspeedycharacteruoucanthinkof/etc)

I want a mineturtle.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, as soon as they exists in reality you will get one.

I want a solar-powered AC unit. I know such things exists, and I want one.

[mrz84]

You get one, but its broken.

I want a bag of money.

[TheDarkOne]

Here, you go, a Ziploc bag containing three nickles. Don't spend it all in one place.

I want a smart TV that is compatible with my old PlayStation 2.

[mrz84]

Here ya go, a PS2 useable TV. Just don't mind the remote. The buttons get stuck sometiems and it can either get the volume really loud or basically muted or loop through all of the channels a few dozen times.

I request, a better mousetrap.

[TheDarkOne]

Here's a copy of the video game Mouse Trap. Have fun.

And I can control the volume/channels with the TVs manual controls if the remote idoesn't work right.

I want an internet service that will allow me to change my WiFi password if I wish to do so.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, but they have the S L O W E S T WiFi possible.

I want teensi shoes with laces that don't keep coming undone.

[TheDarkOne]

You get them, but they're so "teensi" that you can't get your feet into them.

I'd like a freezer that doesn't make the food inside it form ice crystals (but still keeps it frozen).

[Downloader]

Granted, but it comes at a high sticker price that you can't afford and an even higher interest rate that you will never be able to pay off with your current budget.

I want a guitar.

[TheDarkOne]

You get the guitar, but it has no strings ans the frets are also missing.

I want eyeglasses that are 100% unbreakable.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, but you lose them and the place where you bought them will only replace glasses if they break.

I want my own blasted laptop

[TheDarkOne]

Well, here's one that's been blasted. I don't know what you're going to do with that, though.

I want to be able to find an affordable laptop that is pre-loaded with Windows 8.1 and coms with a restore disk.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, but it's made by emachines :lol:

I want a coffee cup that refills itself as many times as I want it to do so.

[TheDarkOne]

You can get one, but the coffee it refills itself with is only lukewarm and weaker than a newborn kitten.

I want a PS2 that is fully backwards-compatible with PS1 software. I have two PS1 games that don't work on it.

[PinkFairy]

I'll give you this weird one I found listed on eBay that for some reason will read PS1 disks but not PS2.

I want a coffee mug that had some kind of system that will prevent the coffee from going cold/

[TheDarkOne]

You can have one, but the problem is that it keeps the coffee too hot to drink. But it won't go cold.

I want a PS2 that will read PS1 disks consistently (the one I have will only do it when it wants to).

[ROLLAND]

Decent need to accomplish something like this with mine.

[TheDarkOne]

ROLLAND Please try to keep to the game's format. Read the first post, it usually explains how the game works.

So to reiterate: I want a PS2 that will read PS1 disks consistently (the one I have will only do it when it wants to).

[PinkFairy]

Okay, this one will read PS1 disks conistently, but it will only read PS2 disks when it wants to.

I want a workable method of keeping coffee hot, but not too hot to drink.

[TheDarkOne]

Here's a new hi-tech device that will help with that. We call it a "microwave."

I would like a car powered purely by solar energy (and uses stored solar energy for driving at night).

[awab4444]

At night, it'll not just consume Solar Energy, but petrol as well.

I'm going to see an ancient DOS computer capable of running every version of Zelda Classic, up to 2.10.

[TheDarkOne]

Sure, you can get that, and as soon as there's a version of ZC that will run under DOS, you can have that as well.

I would like a type of rechargeable battery that will hold its charge for as long as a lithium battery will last.

[PinkFairy]

I will give you that, but it takes 16 hours to charge.

I want toenails clippers that I can use without having to put my leg in such an awkward position.

[bigjoe]

You can have that, but theyre single use toenail clippers, so in all their inventive design , you can only use them once.

I want all the people from ages past who left to start posting again.

[TheDarkOne]

Okay, but only for one day.

I want one of thise medical devices from Star Trek that fixes a broken arm in a matter of minutes

[mrz84]

Granted, but since you said monutes instead of minutes, a freak glitch causes it to take 10 years to fix an arm.

I wish for a better microwave

[TheDarkOne]

Here you go, but you’ll have yo replace the door. Otherwise it works.

II would like a smart phone with better voice recognition than the one I have.

[Tim]

Here's the smart phone with better voice recognition, but it only works for Dutch.

I want a spoon that can heat the food it is carrying.

[TheDarkOne]

Here you go, but it heats the food to a temperature that would cause second-degree burns. And there is no way to cool the food since it’s on the spoon.

I want better voice recognition on this phone.

[TheDarkOne]

The voice recognition causes the thread to die.

I want a a way to get people interested in FG again.

[mrz84]

Granted, but my necromantic mod powers can only do so much.

I want a complete collection of Kamen Rider shows and movies with english subs.

[TheDarkOne]

You get them., but they are region-coded for Japan. And there’s no way to override that coding.

I would like sweat pants that stay completely clean without laundering and never shrink or tear or fall apart, and are available in whatever color I want.

[mrz84]

Granted, but they are invisible forever.

I request a herring.

[TheDarkOne]

Okay, but you get a red one.

I request a mechanical third arm that is directly wired to my nervous system so I can control it like any part of my body, and I want it to have superhuman strength and be virtually indestructible. And metallic blue in color.

[mrz84]

Granted, but it has a mind of its own that only manifests when you are unconscious/asleep that performs increasingly absurd pranks on you during those periods of time.

I require...a shrubbery

[TheDarkOne]

Okay, but it’s alteady dying and since I had to uproot it to give it to you, it’s beyond saying now.

I would like a mute button that works on small children.

[mrz84]

Granted, but it makes politicians louder

I would like some nice snacks for a lazy afternoon

[TheDarkOne]

You get some snacks, but thry they’re stale Fritos..

I want a n iem duplicatir, that only works on unliving matter.