I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

[CJC]

This is the new version of the original "I Wish (http://armageddongames.net/showthread.php?74402-I-Wish-You-Were-A-Frog)" game started by CarrotRed.


In essence, you've got a magic lamp that will grant your wish, but the genie (the next poster) is a douchebag. You grant the wish of the previous poster in the worst way possible.

For example:
1st Poster
I wish I had a big old sandwich!

2nd Poster
Well you'd better get used to tupperware, buddy, because you're a big old ham on rye now!

I wish I had a luxury car.

3rd Poster
Well you do, but it's drawn on a piece of loose-leaf paper.

I wish I was taller.



And so forth. I'll start.


I wish I was less afraid of heights.

[Ventus]

Granted but now you are more afraid of being on the ground :P

I wish, I had a Hamburger.

[ctrl-alt-delete]

No problem, I know where to get the freshest dog meat!

I wish I didn't have to go back to work for two weeks tomorrow.

[CJC]

Granted. You have to go back to work for FIVE weeks tomorrow.

I wish I could still get a pizza for $5.

[ctrl-alt-delete]

No problem, the value of the dollar has plummeted dramatically.

I wish I had gone to sleep three hours ago.

[mrz84]

Done, but you have insomnia for the rest of your life.

I wish I was a tokusatsu character (ie: Kamen Rider, Super Sentai, etc)

[CJC]

Granted, but you can only speak in subtitles.

I wish I could draw comics faster than a page a day.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you fudge up on every 3 out of 5 pages.

I wish that I didn't have to put up with the 2012 Election crap anymore.

[CJC]

Granted, but now they've begun campaigning in advance for the 2024 election.

I wish somebody'd play that Apples to Apples forum game.

[Magnus Accanta]

Granted, ten people have posted by they won't stop going on about pears. (Admittedly, I'm not sure what forum your talking about...)

I wish I was a better pixel-artist.

[CJC]

Granted, you are now the greatest pixel artist of all time as you have been transformed into a pixel! But, being a pixel, you really don't have any appendages anymore so you can't actually create anything.

(I was referring to the game thread Apples to Apples (http://armageddongames.net/showthread.php?94844-Apples-to-Apples-the-Cheap-Forum-Version) which I started during the revitalization of the Forum Games. It requires three people to play, though, and nobody took any interest)




I wish people would stop spreading chain letters and chain messages!

[Magnus Accanta]

Granted, No more Chain letters/messages , In fact, No more Letters or Messages At All!!! Mwahaha

I wish....For a Juicy Dragon fruit!

[mrz84]

Granted, its the juiciest of them all, but also the last dragonfruit on the planet (no seeds either)

I wish...for the super power of my choice.

[Zim]

Granted, its the juiciest of them all, but also the last dragonfruit on the planet (no seeds either)

I wish...for the super power of my choice.

Granted: you have superbly made the choice to state your wish.

I wish for a Veyron Super Sport car, the FASTEST street car on Earth.

[Magnus Accanta]

Granted : although this is of the model with the driving seat on the opposite side as to the one you would normally drive with, and someone splattered Dragon Fruit all over the seats...

I wish for a gold pebble.

[Orithan]

Granted: You crash after going too fast on the test-drive. Did I mention that Top Gear was filming it? (trololololololo)

I wish that Fi wasn't so much of a drone in Skyward Sword. Yes I know that my batteries are low! Yes I know that I have to find a key Captain Obvious.

[Majora]

Granted: She is now sexually aggressive instead of reminding you about game-related stuff.

I wish I had a million dollars.

[mrz84]

Granted: You have a million (Monoply) dollars!

I wish I had every video game ever (except E.T. for atari and any Nintendo cdi games)

[Orithan]

Granted, none of them work at all. Not even that coveted Gold Majora's Mask cartridge works.

I wish for Navi to stop annoying me in Ocarina of Time.

[CJC]

Granted. Navi has been replaced by Tatl, who is even more annoying!


I wish the Vanish->X-Zone glitch from Final Fantasy 6 could be applied to people in real life. Muahahahaha!

[mrz84]

Granted! *disclaimer: has tiny chance of reflecting onto the user*

I wish earlier Fire Emblem games to have english releases!

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but they are only available for twenty-six and a half seconds.

I wish I could find that elusive custom quest for Zelda Classic.

[TheDarkOne]

I wish people hadn't lost all interest in this game.

[rock_nog]

Wish granted, I am now interested in this game. Downside: I am now interested in this game.

[TheDarkOne]

I wish rock_nog had made a wish.

[rock_nog]

I wish TheDarkOne hadn't wished for me to make a wish.

Okay okay, that's just going to create an infinite recursion loop that will destroy reality or something. I wish I had a portal gun.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it opens an entry portal below you and an exit portal above you so you fall through them forever.

I wish I could get my Bluetooth device to work with my computer.

[mrz84]

Granted, but it can only play the Best of Hanson.

I wish for the best sandwich ever.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you accidentally drop it into the trash.

I wish for an Action Replay device that's compatible with the Nintendo 3DS no matter how many times Nintendo updates it.

[rock_nog]

Granted, but now you must use the Konami Code for every cheat you want to use.

I wish I had the entire licensed NES library.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you are unable to find an actual NES console on which to play them.

I wish my neighbors wouldn't play their stereo so loud.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, they instead start pounding on your door very loudly every night around midnight...


I wish for a perfect healthy body...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then you fall down an open manhole and break every bone in your perfect healthy body.

I wish for a brand-new Wii U.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, then you drop it down the same manhole you made me fall into (MINE, now!)...


I wish I had not fallen into an open manhole (Owies!!!)

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, instead you jumped over it, right into the path of a speeding bus.

I wish I had a nice, cold, bottle of Sprite.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but I laced it with arsenic because you got me hit by a bus... Bye!


I wish TheDarkOne was not so darn dark!!

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, I'm 1/1000th of a shade lighter.

I wish for everything that's ever been stolen from me to be returned, in the same condition it was in when I last had it.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but it's so much stuff that it all crushes you when it all returns... (Ouch!)


I wish I could have infinite energy to do everything I want to do...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you have so much energy you can't sit still for more than 20 seconds.

I wish True Blood had lasted a few more seasons.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but it sucked like a vampire on a feeding frenzy...


I wish I knew how TheDarkOne granted my wish after getting crushed by all of his returned stuff...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, the same way you could play a Wii U down in the sewer with every bone in your body broken.

I wish I had some fresh salmon.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but it's 9 Lives (MEOW?!?)


I wish for vegan chocolate truffles...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you eat too many and get sick.

I wish for fresh strawberries.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but they're GMO berries, and they gradually turn you into a giant strawberry... Ummm... You look DELICIOUS!!


I wish I could resist eating TheDarkOne, as he is now a giant strawberry...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, just as you are about to take a big bite, I turn back into a human. I look down at you with your mouth wide open about to bite me and say "I suppose there is a logical explanation for this?"

I wish there were some real Final Fantasy games for the 3DS besides the Theaterhythm games.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted,but just as they're released, your 3DS breaks and you can't play them...



I wish I owned both Theatrhythm games...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then your 3DS breaks and you also cannot play them.

I wish I was as smart as Sheldon Cooper (but still with my own personality).

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, you are fictionally as smart as Sheldon Cooper (as he is a fictional character...), and you still have your own personality(ies)...



I wish I had unlimited wishes...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then you get amnesia and forget you have them.

I wish to live forever.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but you have to watch everyone else around you die. You're so lonely... (Sowwy!)



I wish... I wish... (STUPID amnesia!) I wish I could remember how to make wishes...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then you discover that your unlimited wishes were taken back because you didn't use them for so long (so sorry).

I wish I could communicate with cats.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, "Meow, Rawr, & Hiss" is your full vocabulary now... Have fun!!



I wish for Santa Claus to give me $10,000,000... (NOT stolen, & NOT counterfeit, & NOT Monopoly or any other board game money...)

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but Santa Claus doesn't really exist. You'll get your $10,000,000 from him if and when he ever does...

I wish my cats could speak and understand English.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, your cats can speak and understand English, but you still only speak Feline...


I wish for World Peace (NOT a dream, I don't die and not be able to enjoy it, and it lasts forever...)

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the world blows up two days later and therefore it is total peace that would last forever. Oh, and you didn't die in the process, so you're just floating in space.

I wish Final Fantasy VI would be remade for the 3DS and released in North America, in English, and without anything happening to my 3DS that would make it unplayable.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but the game is so expensive that you die while trying to save up for it...


I wish I was not floating in space after the world blew up...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you get assimilated by the Borg.

I wish I didn't die trying to save up for that game.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, welcome to the Borg...


I wish I was not Borg, I like to have thoughts of my own...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you break free of the Borg collective, but they send drones to kill you. Nice knowing you....

I wish I wasn't one of the drones that was sent to kill you.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted,the whole Borg mess was a dream... We're both alive, but you're still stuck speaking only Feline...


I wish to be multilingual...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you can only speak Klingon, Huttese, and the beeps and whistles that R2-D2 speaks in.

I wish I could speak both feline AND English.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but suddenly the cats only understand R2D2 type beeps and whistles...


I wish I could fluently speak and completely understand every language ever invented...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then you become deaf and mute.

I wish I had a working PS2.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, your PS2 now has a job waiting tables at a Cheesecake Factory...


I wish I was not deaf & mute...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you are a quadriplegic instead.

I wish my PS2 would actually work the way it is supposed to work.

[MasterSwordUltima]

Yeah sure. I can grant that. The only problem is that you can't find a TV with the compatible A/V Aux ports anymore. :\

I wish I had some cheesecake right now. Yeah man. A nice marble swirl cheesecake.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you have to split it with me.

I wish I had $500 extra cash in legal US currency, tax-free.

[rock_nog]

Granted, but that currency turns out to be marked bills, implicating you in a local bank robbery.

I wish my thumb wasn't so sore so I could get back to playing Skyrim.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, your thumbs are fine, but all your other fingers are broken.

I wish I had some Amy's veggie lasagne.

[TheDarkOne]

You forgot to make your own wish.

I wish my girlfriend wasn't sick.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted: YOU'RE sick instead...

I wish I was not bored...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, instead you're having lots of excitement dodging the shuriken that are being thrown at you from every direction.

I wish I hasn't feeling so drained.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted,you're floating in a pool of water...


I wish I was a millionaire...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then your bank account is hacked and now you are $1,000,000 in arrears.

I wish I was a successful video game designer.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, you successfully develop one game, and then drift into obscurity...


I wish I still had my $1,000,000...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you have to pay it back to the bank because of your arrears.

I wish to win the Publishers Clearing House sweepstakes.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted but, WHOOPS! Wrong house! Sorry...


I wish I had $2,000,000 so I could pay arrears and still be a millionaire...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it turns out your overdraft fees come to another million so you have to give them that, too.

I wish to win the PCH Sweepstakes and have it be the right house.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, it is the right house, they give you the huge check, and then your alarm clock wakes you up...




I wish I had a yummy vegan birthday cake!

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you can't eat it because you can't have your cake and eat it, too.

I wish I had enough money to buy a piece of cheesecake from Sbarro's (and they're not out of it)

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, you have enough money, they're not out of it, but you develop a sudden lactose intolerance...


I wish TheDarkOne had not mentioned cheesecake... GRRRR!

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you decide to buy him some anyway :roflmao:

I wish the goblins would come and take you away, right now.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, BYE!! (Oops, they can't do that, who would play in these forums with you then??)


I wish the goblins would come and take all the politicians away right now...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but five minutes later they bring them back; they don't want them anymore.

I wish so-called "reality" shows would go off the air permanently and be replaced by something actually entertaining

[bigjoe]

Granted. They are replaced by coliseum death matches and you have to participate. :googlyeyes:

I wish I could beat Ikaruga.

[rock_nog]

Granted. You could beat Ikaruga. You theoretically have the necessary skills. However, you never will actually beat Ikaruga, because every copy you try to play becomes immediately defective.

I wish I had the ability to win any argument.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but everyone seems to agree with you so you never get into any arguments.

I wish I had the ability to win at any video game.

[Zim]

Alakazam!
Every video game goes straight to end of credits message upon boot up.

I wish I can has a never-ending supply of fresh food.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's all food you hate.

I wish Neverwinter Nights was compatible with Windows 8.1

[bigjoe]

Granted. Every Windows 8.1 computer you touch BSODs when you boot it up.

I wish Mario Maker was out already.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but your system breaks when you try to play it.

I wish they would remake the NES version of Pool of Radiance for the 3DS or Wii U and make it better (by fixing all the bugs and using a less monochromatic color scheme, for starters).

[mrz84]

Granted, but they missed the most game-breaking bug and for some reason never patch it out.

I wish for a panic button that will transport me to a pocket dimension with all the food, water, and video games I would need to survive in case of a life threatening emergency.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you forgot about air so you suffocate while there and nobody ever finds your body.

I wish for perfect eyesight for the rest of my natural lifespan (no dying tomorrow or in the foreseeable future).

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but for the rest of your natural existence you no longer have any of your other senses...


I wish to be in perfect health til I'm 100 years old...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you are cryogenically frozen until you reach the age of 100. But on the day you are revived, you walk out into the new future world and are hit by a flying car.

I wish all the things they showed for 2015 in Back To The Future II actually existed. Or at least the Hoverboards.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, it all exists, but you'll never get to use any of it because you can't afford to have it... BOO HOO!!


I wish TheDarkOne wasn't such a meanie!!

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, I become super nice, and you like me so much that you buy me all the 2015 stuff that I couldn't afford before.

I wish the cats would always behave.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, they do behave... VERY BADLY... Kiss your carpets goodbye! Muah, ha ha ha ha!!


I wish I could flap my arms and fly...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but when you are flapping your arms while on a plane, they think you are crazy and lock you in a padded cell.

I wish the cats would be WELL-behaved all the time.

[PunkNMetal71]

Granted, but your looney roommate (Who you got locked up in her last wish...) claws up the carpet...


I wish I hadn't gotten locked in a padded cell...

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, it's just a regular cell, not a padded one.

I wish I knew how you clawed up the carpet from inside your cell.

[TheDarkOne]

I wish that by bumping this thread it will encourage people to post in it again.

[mrz84]

Granted! However you now have an ingrown toenail (randomly decided)!

I wish for some ice cream.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's your least favorite flavor and it's half-melted and past its expiration date.

I wish for a more reliable WiFi connection.

[mrz84]

Granted! But it only works when in the nude.

I wish people would stop driving by my house with their music turned all the up and shaking my house.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, instead they drive THROUGH your house and cost you a fortune in wall/window repairs.

I wish there was a place around here that served decent mushroom poppers (a local restaurant here does serve them but they are terrible).

[mrz84]

Granted, but they use Super Mushrooms from Super Mario Bros instead of regular mushrooms, causing giant growth when consumed.

I wish for a balloon.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's a mutant alien balloon that hungers for human flesh.

I wish I knew how my internet connection could be nude. I was not aware that internet connections wore clothing.

[Tamamo]

granted by your mind blows up.

I wish ilias was my girlfriend.
http://vignette1.wikia.nocookie.net/monstergirlquest/images/5/5d/80_iriasu_st31.png

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then you discover she's cheating on you with the the actual Tamamo and in your anger you erase her from existence. Then you try to hook up with the real Tamamo, but she tells you to get lost.

I wish for some chili cheese fries.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the chili is made from mystery meat. ;)

I wish for a spoon.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's jabbed into your eye.

I wish I could go to Red Lobster for dinner at least once a month.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you always have the runs after eating there.

I wish for a potato (what could go wrong?)

[Tamamo]

Okay, but you get shot!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPV6MUDH_Eg

I wish for 10 tails.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Granted, but they are tied together in a noose that is used to hang you.

I wish that this current wish which I am wishing now does not, never had, and never will have a downword side effect of ANY sort.

[mrz84]

Granted, but now you killed the thread.

Just kidding, you taste the color blue now.

I wish that I had a plush toy of Isabelle from Animal Crossing New Leaf.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but in the process you lose every other possession you own.

I wish for the weather here to be about 73 degrees Fahrenheit year-round.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the only article of clothing to exist for the rest of eternity are Eskimo parkas.

I wish my smart phone was good enough to play the upcoming Fire Emblem Heroes game.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the only version of it compatible with your phone is in Swahili.

i wish for a nice, heavy blanket.

[mrz84]

Granted, but its made from pure asbestos.

I wish for turkey on rye.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's a live turkey drinking rye.

I wish my bedroom wasn't so frigging COLD.

[mrz84]

Granted, its now in Hell.

I wish that I didn't need to sleep.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then it becomes required by law and it is considered a felony offense if you don't.

I wish Starbucks would lower their prices. Admittedly, their coffee is good, but it's not THAT good.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you become unable to drink ANYTHING else (water, soda, etc) except Starbucks coffee.

I wish I could travel across time and space at will.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you can only do it once every 62 years.

I wish I could drink other things besides Starbucks coffee.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then the thread dies.

I wish this thread would be revived.

[mrz84]

Granted, but your left pinkie toenail falls off and disappears into nothingness.

I wish I didn't have to work during the solar eclipse.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you get fired.

I wish I had the proper things with which to view the solar eclipse.

[PinkFairy]

OK, but iy rains the entire time.

I wish I had my own computer.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's OS is Windows Vista and you can never upgrade it.

I wish I had a better fan in my room.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, there is a now a better Justin Beiber fan in your room.

I wish for a brand-new laptop with Windows 10 installed.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it has low memory and all it's hard drive space is taken up by Windows 10.

I wish Firefox was more customizable.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, but you don't like any of the customization options.

I wish I had a Window 10 laptop with terrabytes of memory available for use,

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it goes BSOD the first time you boot it up.

I wish my computer wasn't on its last chips.

[PinkFairy]

Your wish is granted, it's now completely dead and won't even turn on. Oh, and the data on your hard drive is unrecoverable.

I wish I hadn't done that because I use the same computer.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but because you tried to do that I won't let you use my computer anymore.

I wish Pink would think about the consequences of careless wishes.

[mrz84]

Granted, but because she is a faerie, she does whatever she wants anyway (because curiosity)

I wish for a shrubbery.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the Knights Who Say Ni still won't let you pass because they're just bastards like that.

I wish I still had my DVD copy of that movie.

[mrz84]

Granted, but since you didn't specify which movie, its any random movie EXCEPT the one you wanted.

I wish the was a cure for my foot falling asleep.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it involves a hacksaw and an acetylene torch. You can guess where this is going, I am sure.

I wish I could find a DSi XL for sale.

[mrz84]

Granted, its my old one but the top screen only works properly when held at a certain angle, turns the top screen completely white if not, and the hinges don't stay in place requiring you to hold it place or use some sort of device or something to hold it in place for you while playing it (this is a real problem I have with mine, its why I upgraded to 3DS day 1 it was released)

I wish for a potato.

[TheDarkOne]

Sure, I’ll guve you the one I ate this morning. Just hold out your hands....

I wish I could find a DSi XL for sale that is not pre-owned.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, you now have one that is brand-new...and in Japanese and no translation patches work.

I wish my friends who are fighting would settle their differences and be friends again.

[mrz84]

They do so, but are turned into adorable kittens in the process. Also they aren't house trained.

I wish for a non-poop potato.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, you instead get one that has been sitting in a cupboard for months. Enjoy.

I wish my boyfriend would stop sulking just because I cancelled our plans to try and reconcile my friends.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, instead he dumps you and starts dating one of those friends (jk, you know I would never do that to you).

I wish it was still warmer temperatures. That nice weather lasted far too short.

[mrz84]

Granted, but it only increased because of Global Warming and the world floods because Cobra finally got the Weather Dominater working and used it to rapidly melt the polar ice caps because of raisi-I mean reasons.

I wish for a piece of gum.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's the kind of gum that used to come in packs of baseball cards (if you're old enough to remember that).

I wish my girlfriend wasn't out of town this week.

[mrz84]

Granted, but she's having a super mega version of THAT TIME OF THE MONTH. Have fun with that.

I wish for the easiest job in the world.

Note: I am old enough to remember those cards. Still have a few of them, too.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you have a job that's so easy you don't get paid for it.

I wish I had a larger screen on my iPhone.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, the screen is now the same size as a 36" TV screen. and your phone weighs about as much, too.

I wish I had an iPhone, this Nokia Lumia sucks.


'

[mrz84]

Granted, but it is possessed by Ultron from Marvel Comics and he wants to use it as a new body to destroy the Avengers and the world or some chestnut like that.

I wish that I remembered to unpack my winter clothes BEFORE it got cold as balls in a frozen lake.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but they all shrunk four sizes so they no longer fit you.

I wish Ultron was not possessing the new iPhone Megan talked me into buying her.

[PinkFairy]

Okay, Ultron now possesses YOUR iPhone.

I wish the QR Scanner on my iPhone worked better, I can't transfer my data if I can't scan that.

[mrz84]

Granted, but EVERYTHING you scan brings up a pic of the Ring girl (pretty sure her name is Sanako...memory is fuzzy on that) with the text at the bottom reading "7 days"

I wish for some Tums for my upset stomach.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then you can't eat or drink anything without getting another upset stomach and needing more Tums.

I wish my mouse would stop doing that stupid thing where it acts like I pushed the Back button on mu browser when I click something

[PinkFairy]

Granted, instead it resets your whole computer to factory settings.

I wish I could stop bad things to your computer since I use it too

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, my computer works perfect;y now but you aren't allowed to use it (jk).

BTW @mrx84, the Ring girl's name was Samara Morgan, played by actress Daveigh Chase, who is also famous for providing the voice for Lilo in the Lilo & Stitch movies and TV series.

I wish I still had my DVD copy of Lilo & Stitch.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it's in Portuguese and there are no English subtitles.

I wish I knew why TheDarkOne can access "The Veldt" and I can't.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's a very dark secret and the knowledge of it drives you mad.

I wish I had my own car, I'm really getting fed up with public transportation.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you have a car. IYou'll have to buy the tires and engine separately, however.

I still wish I could access The Veldt.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you can't access any of the other forums (including this one).

I wish Coca-Cola would bring back their "throwback" version of Coke.

[stine.mag]

Granted, but it will only be available for a limited time and stock.
I wish that all PS4 games will be for free.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then your PS4 stops working.

I wish Coke would bring back their throwback Coke on a permanent basis.

[stine.mag]

Granted, but it will always be out of stock.
I wish that Pepsi would bring back their "throwback" version of the carbonated drink. :spin:

[TheDarkOne]

No need to grant that one because they have already done it.

I wish I could fly a jet fighter.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you magically develpoe "Launchpad" syndrome (aka, you ALWAYS crash without fail)

I wish for a cup of coffee, flavored with Pumpkin Spice creamer.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you have to pay Starbucks price for it.

Their coffee is good, but it's not as good as their prices make it out to be.

I wish I had a postage stamp.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the picture on it is of your junk.

I wish for some good non-Starbucks coffee.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's Nescafe instant coffee.

I wish I knew who put a picture of all the junk in my closet (my junk) on a postage stamp.

[mrz84]

Granted, it was some random stalker (don't worry, I dealt....with them)

I wish PinkFairy was able to access all of the forums again.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but for some reason she just doesn't seem to want to. Something about not being allowed to access the Veldt.

I wish I knew why I can access the Veldt but Megan can't.

[mrz84]

Granted, but for some reason everybody that could tell us is silenced by a swarm of killer bees right before they can tell us.

I wish for a sandwich.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, here's a piece of dried-out ham with expired mayonnaise and stale cheese between two slices of moldy bread. Enjoy.

I wish Pink Fairy could access the Veldt because maybe then she'd come back.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but I still don't have access to it.

I wish there was some explanation available as to WHY I can't access it.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but that explantion comes at the cost of certain internal organs.

I wish I had more candy.

[mrz84]

Granted, but its poison flavor.

I wish for some salt water taffy.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's the same flavor as the candy you gave me.

I wish I had my refund from eBay already.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but you get in Euros and can't get it converted into US currency.

I wish there were still full-serve gas stations. Sometimes I just don't feel like pumping gas.

[mrz84]

Granted, but they self-destruct after every use causing widespread fear of them and a push to alternative fuels.

I wish for salt water taffy that isn't poisoned flavor (years of failed poisoning attempts by my younger brother not only gives me immunity to poison effects, but also makes it taste like cardboard)

[PinkFairy]

Granted, instead it's all-natural dog turd flavor. Enjoy.

I wish for a brand-new, state-of-the-art, fully working laptop of my own.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you don't get a charger and your battery is at 5% when you get it.

I still wish I could get an Action Replay DSi

[mrz84]

Granted, but the only codes it has can have added to it are for Barbie and Bratz games.

I wish for a pudding cup.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it tastes like the taffy Pink Fairy gave you.

I wish to have freedom from all responsibilities.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you're placed in cryostasis.

I wish it was wasn't so bloody cold.

[mrz84]

Granted, you get teleported into the center of the sun (hot enough for ya?)

I wish for a different pudding cup (poison flavor tastes bland and has no harmful effect on me as mentined before)

[PinkFairy]

Granted, instead it's all-natural dog turd flavor. Enjoy.Granted, but it's an even worse flavor.

I wish you'd remember what flavor your pudding cup was.

[mrz84]

Granted, but I forget literally the second after doing so.

I wish for a better memory.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, your computer now has a better memory, but yours still hasn't improved.

I wish I could stop playing that silly mobile game I started but I can't help it, it's so addictive!

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, your mobile device implodes.

I wish for warmer temperatures.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, it's now 1 degree warmer.

I wish I could get some new sneakers, the soles are coming off the ones I have.

[mrz84]

Granted, but they are soul-less abominations that seek to eat the toes of those who wear them.

I wish for a taco.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it's the band Taco and they endlessly sing "Puttin' On The Ritz."

I wish for Mountain Dew to bring back their White Out flavor.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's flavored with actual white-out (correction fluid)

I wish Pepsi would make up their minds whether or not they are bringing back their Crystal Pepsi.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, they decide they aren't, and in protest you boycott all Pepsi products. No more Mist Twist for you!

I wish I could tell the secret I just heard but I gave my word I wouldn't tell.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then it turns out that everyone else already knew.

I wish I could keep secrets.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you can only communicate in quote from the Star Wars movies. That included, wirting, typing, and even sign language.

I wish the forum games were getting more activity.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you can only make bad puns now.

I wish I didn't need to sleep.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but instead of sleeping you have to shovel manure all night, eight hours straight, with no breaks and you don't get paid for it.

I wish for my shoulder to heal faster.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, your shoulder heals, but then the opposite shoulder suffers the same injury.

I wish for a miracle drug that will cure any disease and heal any injury.

[mrz84]

Granted, but as a side effect you need to use the bathroom every 30 minutes.

I wish for a notebook.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's used and all the pages are completely covered on both sides with indelible ink.
(Or did you mean a notebook computer?)

I wish you were clearer about what kind of notebook you meant.

[PinkFairy]

Gramted, but he sends the clarification via e-mail and it goes to your span folder, and since you akwas empty it without even looking, you never see it.

I wish spring would come sooner.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it only lasts for a day amd goes straight into blazing hot summer.

[mrz84]

You didn't make a wish so you get nothing.

I wish for a tuna fish sandwich.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Granted, but instead of being poisoned like you probably expected, you go simply become paranoid about having been poisoned when you weren't, and end up in a mental institution.

I wish we could break the light barrier.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, bit then you have to glue it back together.

I wish people knew that exceeding the speed of light is prerequisite for getting a job as a Domino's delivery driver.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Granted, but then no one is around to deliver pizzas.

I wish orange juice tasted purple.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then purple juice tastes orange.

I wish someone hadn't named a fruit after a color.

[Anarchy_Balsac]

Granted, but they name fruits after private parts instead.

I wish good habenero peppers were easier to find in stores.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but they are triple the price.

I wish I didn't dislke habanero peppers (it's not the spiciness, it's the actual taste)

[mrz84]

Granted, you now love them, but they taste like ass.

I wish for spamware, computer viruses and other similar computer problems to no longer exist.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, computers no longer exist.

I wish I could figure out how I'm on this nonexistent computer.

[mrz84]

Granted,, because I went on an epic quest to return computers to existence. The final price I had to pay is that all knowledge of it occuring was erased from everyone's memories except for mine.

I wish for a burrito.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it's worse than the kind you get from 7-Eleven.

I wish I could have free food (anything I want) for the next year.

[mrz84]

Granted, its literal poop. And the only one that qualifies for the free food.

I wish that humanity wasn't a bunch of jerks.

[TheDarkOne]

I said "anything I want." So any food would qualify.

Granted, now they're murderous psychopaths and they all are targeting you.

I wish you had read my last wish fore carefully.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but since you said "fore" instead of "more," he can do so at the front end of a boar.

I wish you'd be more careful aboat spelling.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, as soon as you do the same, Miss "front end of a boar."

I wish the grammar police would knock it the you-know-what off.

[mrz84]

Granted, in their place is the Fashion Police.

I wish for a better postal service.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, there is a now a better postal service in Zimbabwe.

I wish Trident's flavor lasted longer.

[mrz84]

Granted, but the only flavor they have is poison flavor (don't worry, its not THAT bad...sorta)

I wish for racism to no longer exist.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but people find other reasons to dislike one another.

I wish people could learn to settle their differences rationally instead of killing one another.

[mrz84]

Granted, istead they settle their differences by partaking in tv gameshows from the 90s (such as Secrets of the Hidden Temple or Jeapody)

I wish for no more farts. For anyone.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then people violently explode from having no way to expel excess gas.

I wish farts didn't smell bad.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but they are now so loud that even hearing one from a block away shatters your eardrums.

I wish to see Barney the dinosaur tortured and killed.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but a mob of angry four-year-old is out for revenge against you.

I wish Element Electronics' so-called "smart" TV wasn't so stupid.

[Downloader]

Granted, but a mob of angry four-year-old is out for revenge against you.

I wish Element Electronics' so-called "smart" TV wasn't so stupid.

Someone cybernetically engineers a bio-tech interface cyborg technology and implements it into the Element "smart" tv, and it becomes self-aware and now has logic and reasoning skills. The TV then also costs much resources to survive, as it now has more basic needs to have ability and consciousness. As a result, being that the TV has it's own reasoning and purpose aside from any outer influence of any other person, the TV decides it now has a reason to also be self-defensive about it's own survival, and being that it costs more resources than the average human for functionality, it starts consuming the planet in a desperate attempt at existing at any cost, all human life is erased from existence from being snuffed out by the new hyper-intelligent self-aware device/person.

I wish I could at some point finally find the time to finish my .qst file and complete a quest that is fun to play.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then your computer does the same thing as the TV did.

I wish I had known that my PlayStation 2 was not compatible with the Element TV before I went ahead and bought the smegging thing.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you can never get a refund. Ever.

I with for a pop-tart.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but you out it in a faulty toaster and it gets burned completely black. And it was the last Pop-Tart of your life.

I wish you weren't actually right about me not being able to get a refund on that TV. I lost the receipt and the store wehre I bought it won't take returns on electronics without a receipt.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but they give you the refund in Turkish Lira and no banks will exchange it for US currency.

I wish I didn't have to work until 11 PM.

[mrz84]

Granted, you now work at 11:01 PM.

I wish to never have to work again.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you get fired from your job and nobody else will hire you.

I wish my shift at work ended at 8:00 PM. I don't care if it starts three hours earlier.

[mrz84]

Granted, you now work until 8 pm, and start your next shift at 9pm the same day.

I wish that the Wii U had been handled better.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but as a result the price was much higher than you could ever hope to afford.

I wish the postal service actually delivered mail directly to our door instead of a bank of mailboxes at the end of the street.

[mrz84]

Granted, but you no longer get any mail. Ever.

I wish I had more free time.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you have all the free time you want since you were fired from your job a few posts ago.

I wish for more coffee flavor choices at the local store, without the price being affected. and the flavors are ones I like.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but now drinking coffee makes you violently sick.

I wish the neighbor's dog would stop barking for no reason.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but now your cat inexplicably starts barking for no reason.

I wish I could find that YouTube vieo I started watching and never finished. It seem to have disappeared on me.

[Downloader]

Granted, but now every last kilobyte of the data on the servers are all comprised of copies of the video you were looking for and everything else is wrote over.

I wish for a quad-core i7 like my last computer I had.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, bu BSODs the first time you boot it up.

I wish gas was free so we could run the heater 24/7 as it is so bloody cold.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but the heater breaks.

I wish the grocery store that's close had lower prices.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, they are all now one cent lower.

I wish the weather would warm up by about 20 degrees.

[PinkFairy]

Granted. the weather im Antarctica is now 20 degrees warmer (in degrees Kelvin).

I wish Forum Games would get more activity.

[Chris Miller]

Granted. The forum is now filled with disgusting clopfic.

I wish I had more potato salad.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but the mayo is spoiled and it makes you violently sick,

I wish I had the money to go somewhere fun now that I have some time off from work.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you have the money, but all the places you want to go are booked solid with a 6-month waiting list.

I wish for some deviled eggs that I don't have to make myself.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but you have to sell your soul to the devil.

I wish I could make devilled eggs.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but when you make them, you have to share them with me.

I wish I had gotten more sleep last night.