I Wish... This Lamp Wasn't Jinxed!

[bigjoe]

Granted. You wake up three days later to a post-apocalyptic world.

I wish I had a time machine.

[Chris Miller]

Granted, but it drops you right in the middle of the Battle of Hastings.

I wish I had a pizza.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but it's your last meal on death row.

I wish the anime series I just finished watching had a better ending.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the ending leads into another season and the new season sucks.

I wish Netflix had all seasons of the series of which they currently have only one season.

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but they are all spoken in Spanish.

I wish Seinfeld would return for another season.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but everyone (including the title character) is recast with 9th grade drama students.

I wish I could get rid of this stupid cough.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, you get rid of the stupid one but then get a highly intelligent one.

I wish I wasn't so busy with work (but without getting fired).

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, you're not fired but you are asked to take an indefinite and unpaid "leave of absence."

I wish for a warm Mountain Dew to be poured on a person I've never met or seen, who has brown hair, green eyes, and is missing his left pinky finger, who will then retaliate on the person who poured it by roundhouse kicking said person in the face, but the person will duck and the momentum of the kick will make the kicker fall onto his left side, but the fall will be cushioned by an orange beanbag chair.

[PinkFairy]

Ummm...granted, but...there's a hole in the beanbag...?

I wish my legs were more flexible.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, they are now made of rubber. Good luck standing up on them.

I wish I had more white chocolate Hershey bars.

[PinkFairy]

Granted, but you have only one more and it's the last one you will ever have for the rest of your life.

I wish I was royalty.

[TheDarkOne]

No need to grant that, you're already a drama queen.

I wish that I don't get shot by a pink fairy....

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but the thread dies.

I wish this thread wasn’t dead.

[mrz84]

Granted, but my necromatic mod powers can only do so much.

I wish there was more traffic in Forum Games.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it’s actual traffic , like cars and truck's.

i wish I was there instead of here.

[mrz84]

Granted, but since you didn't specify exactly where "there" was, you get teleported into your laundry washing machine, your head sticking out of the door (whether it is front or top loading is irrelevant, this still happens)

I wish to try some new flavors of ice cream.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, here’s dog poop and toe jam flavors.

i wish I could find the Spider-Man arcade game on one of those arcade streaming sites (where you can play the game directly in your browser).

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but you must play the Fetch the Spider-Man arcade game arcade game before you can play the Spider-Man arcade game.

I wish that people were more honest.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but only by a very small margin. Politicians are still liars because they don’t really count as people.

I wish to know more about this Fetch the Spider-Man arcade game of which you speak.

[Nathaniel]

Granted, but the game fetches you.

I wish that all beef sold was grass fed.

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but it’s “grass” fed.

I wish the idea of smoking (tobacco, marijuana, all of it) had never been or ever would be invented.

[mrz84]

Granted, but in its place everyone gets addictged to NFTs and becomes poor

I wish for a life time supply of catnip for my cat

[TheDarkOne]

Granted, but then he wants it all the time and will not leave you alone.

I wish I knew what NFTs are (I don’t actually know).