AtmaWeapon
04-12-2011, 11:23 PM
It's with a heavy heart I write this post, but I want to get it out there before it's too late.
It looks like the writing's on the wall for AGN this time. We've been through booms and lulls before, but this one looks fatal. Low member count's nothing; if anything it makes it more intimate. However, the "attack site" status is a definite hurdle to new members, and it takes a lot of jumping through hoops to display the forums (or risk my computer using IE, which is what I had to do to make this post.) Now the spammers are taking over. Making this post was hard, not counting the emotional weight. I suppose Warlord's through with AGN, and I don't blame him. Looking back I can tell he probably quit having fun several years ago. I don't like being the guy to say the ship is sinking, but I've been doing my best to ignore it and pretend like AGN's been doing great for years now. Sometimes you just have to let go.
I want to clear up what I feel like is some bad blood before it goes. Back in my college days around '06 and '07 I remember I stirred up a lot of trouble. For some reason I've always felt like WL and Breaker didn't like me since then; if so it's all my fault and I apologize for that. I tried to shape AGN into something it wasn't and threw tantrums when I didn't get my way; if only I'd continued to let AGN be what it had been for me all along. Somewhere along the line I lost my way, and if it hurt anyone's feelings I'm sorry.
I'd like to offer to take the reins from WL (and I'm serious), but knowing my history I wouldn't put much effort into it and it wouldn't do anything but lengthen the delay until the active member count dwindles to 1. AGN would need an influx of new users and forums just don't really fill the niche they used to fill on the internet for teens. Back then we all had relatively slow modems so it was fine if threads moved at a rate of a few posts per hour. Today the age group that AGN needs so desperately is used to instant communication via phones and IM; forums are glacial. It's probably best to let it die, but that doesn't make it easier to let go.
Why even get this worked up about a forum? I've got a lot invested in AGN. The postbit says I joined in 2001, but my memories seem to support 2000 as a more likely date; I seem to remember some forum upgrade screwing up join dates a little bit? It's no matter. Ten years is a long time. I was 17; now I'm 27. Since joining I've found a girl, left home, graduated college, gotten married, and tried to carve out my place in the world. I didn't have many friends at school, and the few gamer friends I had moved away. AGN filled a social void in my life. Some of the best times of my teenage years were spent on AGN; perhaps that's a bit sad but many of the people who were doing more "appropriate" things back then aren't doing so well today. There's a lot of history on these pages, and a lot of awkward kids learning how to socialize in an environment where failure didn't have to mean being an outcast forever.
So there you have it. I'm a huge nerd and AGN + video games took the place of the circle of real friends a healthy teenager would have formed. Seeing this place go down is what it must be like to visit a childhood home, only to find it's been bulldozed and replaced. I keep coming back in the hopes that those years will return, but you can't go backwards in time. My wife is a member of a forum in a similar state, but when they started to collapse they shut down new membership and made it a very intimate and private ordeal; it's a kind of walled-in Facebook for them. I think I keep coming back because I want to have fun with AGN like she's having fun with her forum.
I'll miss this place and the people that made it great. I'm out of touch with almost everyone but Mottzilla these days. It's a real shame that I never stayed in touch with some of my best friends from my youth. If you want to get in touch with me, it's easy to find me. I'm Owen Pellegrin, I've groomed my search results well. Google my name and you'll get my profile which links to other services. If you're too lazy:
AIM: nopaeWamtA (I'm on most of the day; one of the benefits of working on software.)
Email: shouldn't be hard to guess at gmail.com. Following other instructions can turn it up pretty easy.
Twitter: @SittenSpynne
I'd really like to keep in touch with people. I've neglected my social life for a couple of decades now and it's really starting to hurt. Even if I don't know you very well you'll get a few minutes of conversation out of me before I decide if you're too obnoxious to keep on ;)
Here's a rough list of people from past years, with a few comments. A common theme: I never got personally friendly with many of you and now I regret it. Conversation on the forum is so much different than in private! It hurts more that it's been so long I have only vague memories of the time we spent virtually together.
Warlord: Thanks for running the site for so long. Sorry if I pissed you off. Maybe we can play CoD sometime; I see you on XBL a lot.
Breaker: You weren't that bad and I was a pretty big dick. Sorry about that.
Dark Nation: It's a shame I never really talked to you; I bet you're interesting. I'd really love to get in touch with you, maybe do a sort of fanboy "What's it like to be DN?" interview. I'm not embarassed to say it anymore.
Beldaran: Getting trolled constantly was pretty fun. It gave me something to do.
Big Joe: Haven't heard much from you in a while, hope you're doing great!
JJ Maxx: MIA forever! Hope things are going well.
Foxygrl: MIA as well :( I seem to remember you helping me with some rough times in IRC.
goKi: An AGN staple. Haven't heard from you in forever.
Masamune: You've gotten funnier with age, always looked forward to your posts.
Moocow: Another member that held the forums together. It's a shame I never got friendly with you.
Shadowblazer: One of my idols on the forums. Wish I was still in touch.
theplustwo: You're still my posting buddy and we still talk all the time so you don't get a special mention. Wait.
TSA: I more or less know where you ended up and that I don't think we'd have been very friendly off the forums anyway. Still doesn't change you're one of the original AGN MVPs and thus one of my original forum idols.
vegeta1215: It's been a long time since I remember talking with you but I seem to remember you being really cool in the past few years. I dunno why.
Zaphod: Another one of my old forum idols. I seem to remember you left on bad terms, but *I* never stay angry for long.
Eckels: We had a falling out towards the end but you were a cool guy and I was being a dick. Sorry.
Cyberkitten: It makes me very sad that I can't particularly remember any posts of yours but I do remember feeling a strong friendship.
fatcatfan: I really liked you. What happened was a shame.
Prrkitty: Where ya been? Your threads kept AGN alive for a long time.
Goatboy: Hilarious. Your comeback wasn't quite so good, but I could tell your heart wasn't in it.
Ganonator: I seem to recall having some great conversations, but memory is so vague!
Mottzilla: We still talk pretty much every day so no way are you getting a sappy, "I hope you talk to me" message!
I've still got the old member pages; here's a roll call of members that didn't make that list but I still feel were worth a mention. Some of these have been gone for at least 5 years, and many were among the original core group that made AGN so cool in the early 2000s :( Capitalization's going to be a mess because my files don't use it and some of you had *weird* names.
AegisRunestone, AlexMax, Brian, BritannianHero4, callitaday, DarkDragon, DarkJim, DarkPanther, DarkTemplar, Darunia, deathbyhokie, Dechipher, DrunkenTiger, EarthToAustin, ElementalKnight, Erasul, Fiyerstorm, Gerudo, GlennTheGreat, Glitch, Ibis, God of Magicks, ICHBINDASWALROSS, Inori, Jemsee, Jigglysaint, MANDRAG GANON, Master Ghaleon (you gay lion!), Mattwdr, me2, Menokh, MetaStaiford, MrCow, NerdWarrior, Obi, Pablo, Platinum, Predcon1, PrfectGREG, Queenie, Rainman, RaptorScyther, Rijuhn, Riverman, Sir Anthony the Dragonslayer, Smokin D Grass, Starkist, Teilyr, THe Savior, Tygore, Ultra22Lemming, Vel, Verman, XyVol, Yoshiman, Zeo.
That's just the ones that were in the member pages; I'm sure there's plenty I'm leaving out. Just because I didn't come up with a sentence for you doesn't mean your special; my memories of the past 10 years are just so faint. It's made me sad to compile this list and write this post, but it's probably my last chance to say anything to you guys.
Thanks for the good times, AGN. I'm really sad to see you go.
*edit*
In reflection I remembered I left out Tails/Jennifer, another early member that has persisted. An omission via bad memory, not purposeful. There's probably others. If you'd post maybe I'd remember!
It looks like the writing's on the wall for AGN this time. We've been through booms and lulls before, but this one looks fatal. Low member count's nothing; if anything it makes it more intimate. However, the "attack site" status is a definite hurdle to new members, and it takes a lot of jumping through hoops to display the forums (or risk my computer using IE, which is what I had to do to make this post.) Now the spammers are taking over. Making this post was hard, not counting the emotional weight. I suppose Warlord's through with AGN, and I don't blame him. Looking back I can tell he probably quit having fun several years ago. I don't like being the guy to say the ship is sinking, but I've been doing my best to ignore it and pretend like AGN's been doing great for years now. Sometimes you just have to let go.
I want to clear up what I feel like is some bad blood before it goes. Back in my college days around '06 and '07 I remember I stirred up a lot of trouble. For some reason I've always felt like WL and Breaker didn't like me since then; if so it's all my fault and I apologize for that. I tried to shape AGN into something it wasn't and threw tantrums when I didn't get my way; if only I'd continued to let AGN be what it had been for me all along. Somewhere along the line I lost my way, and if it hurt anyone's feelings I'm sorry.
I'd like to offer to take the reins from WL (and I'm serious), but knowing my history I wouldn't put much effort into it and it wouldn't do anything but lengthen the delay until the active member count dwindles to 1. AGN would need an influx of new users and forums just don't really fill the niche they used to fill on the internet for teens. Back then we all had relatively slow modems so it was fine if threads moved at a rate of a few posts per hour. Today the age group that AGN needs so desperately is used to instant communication via phones and IM; forums are glacial. It's probably best to let it die, but that doesn't make it easier to let go.
Why even get this worked up about a forum? I've got a lot invested in AGN. The postbit says I joined in 2001, but my memories seem to support 2000 as a more likely date; I seem to remember some forum upgrade screwing up join dates a little bit? It's no matter. Ten years is a long time. I was 17; now I'm 27. Since joining I've found a girl, left home, graduated college, gotten married, and tried to carve out my place in the world. I didn't have many friends at school, and the few gamer friends I had moved away. AGN filled a social void in my life. Some of the best times of my teenage years were spent on AGN; perhaps that's a bit sad but many of the people who were doing more "appropriate" things back then aren't doing so well today. There's a lot of history on these pages, and a lot of awkward kids learning how to socialize in an environment where failure didn't have to mean being an outcast forever.
So there you have it. I'm a huge nerd and AGN + video games took the place of the circle of real friends a healthy teenager would have formed. Seeing this place go down is what it must be like to visit a childhood home, only to find it's been bulldozed and replaced. I keep coming back in the hopes that those years will return, but you can't go backwards in time. My wife is a member of a forum in a similar state, but when they started to collapse they shut down new membership and made it a very intimate and private ordeal; it's a kind of walled-in Facebook for them. I think I keep coming back because I want to have fun with AGN like she's having fun with her forum.
I'll miss this place and the people that made it great. I'm out of touch with almost everyone but Mottzilla these days. It's a real shame that I never stayed in touch with some of my best friends from my youth. If you want to get in touch with me, it's easy to find me. I'm Owen Pellegrin, I've groomed my search results well. Google my name and you'll get my profile which links to other services. If you're too lazy:
AIM: nopaeWamtA (I'm on most of the day; one of the benefits of working on software.)
Email: shouldn't be hard to guess at gmail.com. Following other instructions can turn it up pretty easy.
Twitter: @SittenSpynne
I'd really like to keep in touch with people. I've neglected my social life for a couple of decades now and it's really starting to hurt. Even if I don't know you very well you'll get a few minutes of conversation out of me before I decide if you're too obnoxious to keep on ;)
Here's a rough list of people from past years, with a few comments. A common theme: I never got personally friendly with many of you and now I regret it. Conversation on the forum is so much different than in private! It hurts more that it's been so long I have only vague memories of the time we spent virtually together.
Warlord: Thanks for running the site for so long. Sorry if I pissed you off. Maybe we can play CoD sometime; I see you on XBL a lot.
Breaker: You weren't that bad and I was a pretty big dick. Sorry about that.
Dark Nation: It's a shame I never really talked to you; I bet you're interesting. I'd really love to get in touch with you, maybe do a sort of fanboy "What's it like to be DN?" interview. I'm not embarassed to say it anymore.
Beldaran: Getting trolled constantly was pretty fun. It gave me something to do.
Big Joe: Haven't heard much from you in a while, hope you're doing great!
JJ Maxx: MIA forever! Hope things are going well.
Foxygrl: MIA as well :( I seem to remember you helping me with some rough times in IRC.
goKi: An AGN staple. Haven't heard from you in forever.
Masamune: You've gotten funnier with age, always looked forward to your posts.
Moocow: Another member that held the forums together. It's a shame I never got friendly with you.
Shadowblazer: One of my idols on the forums. Wish I was still in touch.
theplustwo: You're still my posting buddy and we still talk all the time so you don't get a special mention. Wait.
TSA: I more or less know where you ended up and that I don't think we'd have been very friendly off the forums anyway. Still doesn't change you're one of the original AGN MVPs and thus one of my original forum idols.
vegeta1215: It's been a long time since I remember talking with you but I seem to remember you being really cool in the past few years. I dunno why.
Zaphod: Another one of my old forum idols. I seem to remember you left on bad terms, but *I* never stay angry for long.
Eckels: We had a falling out towards the end but you were a cool guy and I was being a dick. Sorry.
Cyberkitten: It makes me very sad that I can't particularly remember any posts of yours but I do remember feeling a strong friendship.
fatcatfan: I really liked you. What happened was a shame.
Prrkitty: Where ya been? Your threads kept AGN alive for a long time.
Goatboy: Hilarious. Your comeback wasn't quite so good, but I could tell your heart wasn't in it.
Ganonator: I seem to recall having some great conversations, but memory is so vague!
Mottzilla: We still talk pretty much every day so no way are you getting a sappy, "I hope you talk to me" message!
I've still got the old member pages; here's a roll call of members that didn't make that list but I still feel were worth a mention. Some of these have been gone for at least 5 years, and many were among the original core group that made AGN so cool in the early 2000s :( Capitalization's going to be a mess because my files don't use it and some of you had *weird* names.
AegisRunestone, AlexMax, Brian, BritannianHero4, callitaday, DarkDragon, DarkJim, DarkPanther, DarkTemplar, Darunia, deathbyhokie, Dechipher, DrunkenTiger, EarthToAustin, ElementalKnight, Erasul, Fiyerstorm, Gerudo, GlennTheGreat, Glitch, Ibis, God of Magicks, ICHBINDASWALROSS, Inori, Jemsee, Jigglysaint, MANDRAG GANON, Master Ghaleon (you gay lion!), Mattwdr, me2, Menokh, MetaStaiford, MrCow, NerdWarrior, Obi, Pablo, Platinum, Predcon1, PrfectGREG, Queenie, Rainman, RaptorScyther, Rijuhn, Riverman, Sir Anthony the Dragonslayer, Smokin D Grass, Starkist, Teilyr, THe Savior, Tygore, Ultra22Lemming, Vel, Verman, XyVol, Yoshiman, Zeo.
That's just the ones that were in the member pages; I'm sure there's plenty I'm leaving out. Just because I didn't come up with a sentence for you doesn't mean your special; my memories of the past 10 years are just so faint. It's made me sad to compile this list and write this post, but it's probably my last chance to say anything to you guys.
Thanks for the good times, AGN. I'm really sad to see you go.
*edit*
In reflection I remembered I left out Tails/Jennifer, another early member that has persisted. An omission via bad memory, not purposeful. There's probably others. If you'd post maybe I'd remember!