I. Am. A. Genius.

[Cyclone]

It's hard to explain my last three weeks, but it's like something out of a soap opera...

I got a new job and went to the training, where on a particular Wednesday I discovered this lovely bubbly young lady there. Ignore the fact that she's 12 years younger than me (yes, she's legal, don't ask), and smokes (a normally taboo thing for me), and even wears braces (that wasn't on the accept list either...). The words that got my attention: "Meh, that involves work", something my own family has also said about me. I literally tried to talk to her the rest of the week and learn everything I could about her. She's driven race cars since her first race on her 13th birthday (which for me put her off the top of the charts). She is as tough as nails and able to take care of herself - and anyone she's with if attacked, embarrassing the guy perhaps but hey, everyone's safe, right? And being a race car driver, this girl probably knows your own car inside out; good for me because, well, I don't. *LOL*

The downside for me this past week? During training, she broke up with her boyfriend. They're back together now. I wasn't going to post about this at all except for tonite, which has me marveling at myself.

On Saturday, I accidentally texted her boyfriend who had her cell phone at the time. This led to demanding texts from him saying I can't talkto his girl, and if he finds out I have been, and so on. Later chatted with her about that, she told me not to worry. Good enough, I move on to Sunday nite when she comes online; turns out they were together at the moment and I just said hi, and exchanged more lines before he made a remark "You're still talking to her, which I said not to do". Hmm, egotistical guy...I shrugged it off and later went to work driving home the point that this wasn't the guy for her. They had been looking at apartments, which was technically driving me away from having any opportunity with this lady, who my heart is absolutely aching for; I need her to live.

After I finished my bawling at this situation, I decided for the first time to get a little ballsy. I asked her one question: "What would I have to do to get you to love me instead?" She indicated that most guys who she ends up with are ones who say "let me know when you're done with him, I'll be your friend" - and later prove to be losers. I simply replied I'll be her best friend, then asked her to name a bunch of issues that she said she had. After a humorous conversation that followed, I think I am a step closer to actually getting the girl. :heart: She even told me her biggest issue is that she's clingy; all I could say was, "I love that!" (I really do.)

At least, I hope I'm closer; if I fail, I'll never find someone better. It helped me that he didn't say "I love you" to her tonite (apparently he never does, big no-no), and I took the opportunity to say it myself. I will do it again before she signs off, or before I go if I go first. But I've learned this guy is an a**hat for lack of a better word. I don't think their relationship is on solid ground, and I'm working her into agreeing to a first date so I can prove my worth to her. I'll keep you guys posted. :) On the downside, my ZC activity may be ending again soon...this girl is a keeper, and I may have to change my computing habits as well. *LOL*

Cyclone

[moocow]

I really really REALLY hope you don't end up getting beat up. Just be careful, and good luck :)

[Beldaran]

Nice. Start carrying a vicious, concealable knife.

Also, don't be a huge pussy. Be romantic, but don't come across as a needy slob. You have to be a man and actually show some spine. After all, she's not a lesbian and likely doesn't want to end up with a guy who is more like a girlfriend.

Be tough, but gentle. Polite, but unyielding in your principles. Be direct about your feelings, but don't blubber or go on and on about it.

[Cyclone]

Well, as usually happens to me, things tend to get awry before they even get started. All of a sudden after chatting a bit this morning, the boyfriend visits her and, I think, starts sending me texts asking where I live because she's driving to see me...and I think they weren't really driving, he wanted to know where I was. I didn't give this out obviously. Now I think he's told her to tell me not to text her, call her, nothing...when I called in reply to the text message, he answered as I expected and eventually put her on the phone only to say don't call, text, nothing...followed by a prompt hangup.

I felt really good going to bed last nite. Now I might have to cry again. He must have sweet-talked her or something, and now is trying to shut me out completely. I only hope she is still her own person and will message me later to explain what's going on, as a friend.

My opinion? She only told me that to appease him. I expect an MSN from her later. I remain hopeful.

Cyclone

[Beldaran]

She sounds like a typical idiotic girl who doesn't know what she wants, so she repeatedly has sex with jerks to work out her daddy issues, and then claims that there are no good men.

You can do better than her. She sounds like a high maintenance, distracting waste of time.

[Cyclone]

As a friend, I'm trying to prove to her that I am that good man. You may be right Beldaran, but I also think my heart is right, and I want to save her from that scenario. She actually told me last nite she seems to end up with the bad men (hence why she's dumped them), and I told her I am one of the good ones...and she indicated she likes that and might consider dating me. We had a very amusing chat regarding her "issues". And that week we met, we could have burned the building that we were in to the ground with all the sparks flying. But I knew as soon as I got the text that the boyfriend was trying to trap me by impersonating her again.

She's her own person, and I know she'll contact me later when she's alone. I didn't fall for the trap, and I'm proud of that as years ago I might have. She's got a strong head on her shoulders, she just needs to decide what she wants. And she knows how I feel. I'm trying to keep a positive outlook, but it's sure challenging. I can't stop thinking about her, and right now I find myself needing to talk to her just to live and get through my own trouble. I feel like I've known her all my life just from these last few weeks, and I want to take that next step. I just have one hell of a roadblock to get through first, but I am ready to get my bulldozer and push it out of the way.

Cyclone

[gdorf]

I agree with Beldaran. You really need to calm down about this. Your last five posts are exactly the kind of social interaction I would expect from someone posting at a gaming website -- that is not a good thing. You seem needy and you fall fall head first into the first relationship you can muster.

Also, you and her are both seriously in danger and I think it would be in your best interest to limit your exposure to this situation. Controlling partners in DV situations are especially dangerous when the relationships are coming to a close. It is predictable that he wants your address and I would be terrified if I were you. I recommend providing her with some useful domestic violence resources (if he isn't already violent, he will be) and GTFO.

[Cyclone]

Domestic violence resources aren't needed for her. If he tries to attack her or anything, she would actually be the one having him on the ground. The concern is more with me, and I will not be telling her where I live anytime soon, and especially not him.

Also, this is not the first relationship I can muster. I've been in relationships before. This is the first one where I've had the strong feeling I have. Is it wrong to want to fight to get the girl? Is it wrong to want one night to explore whether something is really there, and if not, then move on? I just read this on a site: "All I'm asking for is one night together. Just you and me. All alone. And if you can honestly say you don't feel anything for me after that night, I will finally let you go." He wouldn't like it - especially if she does feel something - but I just want to have a chance to prove myself to her, and deep down I really don't care what he thinks. She's a girl worth having. But now I have to see whether she contacts me tonite via MSN; she said she'd get back to me earlier this morning, and after today she might be realizing the situation she's in and dump him while they're not in the same room. If she doesn't, I will be the one with a broken heart. Per another line on the quote site: "So... from now on... when you think of me... just remember that I could've been the best thing you ever had." If I don't get my chance, I'm prepared to use that. Granted, I'll cry myself to sleep that nite.

EDIT: I may be completely wrong on this, but I am starting to wonder whether she was actually preparing me for no response from her for a couple of days or longer. I was talking to her Sunday nite and she said she was getting depressed after our wonderful conversation, and I think I now know why she said to me this morning not to contact her but she'd contact me. I think she was preparing to dump her boyfriend. I may be completely wrong and am prepared for the possibility, but if she did indeed dump her boyfriend, then she's just trying to put some time being single after it and not make it look like she jumped over to me immediately, giving him a sure reason to want my head off. The time is a good thing, and I'm going to stay calm and relax, maybe even meet other girls if I can. I may try to talk to her Wednesday sometime, but unless she contacts me first, I'm not talking to her Tuesday. I'm going to try to be the stronger man here. The other possibility is she stayed with him and is settling, but I hope not after all the things she told me about him. I remain hopeful and leave this in the air.

Cyclone

[Icey]

Don't die dude. Post every once in a while so we know you're still with us.

[SUCCESSOR]

Flee like she is the bubonic plague. This girl will rip your heart and soul to shreds.


And I don't like to say 'I told you so' (I really do).

[gdorf]

Get a grip. You are obsessed with a woman you met three weeks ago who isn't worth your time. Go get some exercise to clear your mind and think about this objectively. The only way you'll ever have a chance with this woman (not that you should want one..) is if you grow a pair and act like a confident, sane adult.


I'm going to try to be the stronger man here.


"So... from now on... when you think of me... just remember that I could've been the best thing you ever had." If I don't get my chance, I'm prepared to use that. Granted, I'll cry myself to sleep that nite.

..Right.

[Cyclone]

I know, but my heart and soul already belongs to her. She just hasn't accepted it yet. Only when she definitively tells me she doesn't want to be friends at all anymore will I be able to move on.

I'm making one more attempt this evening. If she doesn't answer, this could be it. I'm not into playing games.

EDIT: Just saw the post above this. gdorf, yes, I get it. But like I said, I still want to be at least friends with her. If she doesn't want to, that's her choice and I'll have to accept it. I'm ready to move on otherwise. I may still use the line, but I won't cry now. *LOL*

Cyclone

[Masamune]

dude i carried on about this shit when i was like 15. rub one off and take a nap.

[Dark Nation]

Obligatory XKCD reference:

http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/friends.png (http://xkcd.com/513/)
:)

All kidding aside, though, hope things work out for you.

[Cyclone]

Well, that's over. I guess I'm not so much of a genius after all.

And I still have no clue what happened Monday. I'll never know now.

Can we please kill this thread to some unmentionable place?

Cyclone

[Mercy]

Read this (http://uwakimono.comicgenesis.com/ahmog.html), go through the five stages of grief, flog the bishop until you pass out, then wake up to a fresh start sans frelled up poobah. Aspire to something higher for yourself. There are plenty of women out there and you have met but a scant few.

-m.

[Cyclone]

This is true. Maybe I'll go to a bar sometime. It's a start, I need to get off this computer sometimes NEway.

Cyclone

[Gerudo]

See, this why I refuse to give into my cousin saying one of his friends "really likes" me. She is 9 years older than me (not that age ever mattered if anyone remembers my past relationship). I know what I went through with multiple past relationships, and while I'm not saying that I ignore the advances of a woman, but the idea of having to appease someone just for the sake of love or sex? I can do without that.

From what I've read, Cyc, while she may have looked like a keeper, and told you what you wanted to hear, the end result is that she was obviously too attached to what brings her down. I have a friend I know who plays WoW who is most likely going to get back with her ex, who reportedly physically and emotionally abuses her, and you can't convince her otherwise.

Cut your losses and move on, as others have suggested. Grab a buddy/bro/friend and hit up some good times. Trust me, it's refreshing.

[SUCCESSOR]

I can't tell you what to do to get a chick but the don'ts are pretty universal.

--Never tell a girl you love her if you are not dating

--Never say ANYTHING bad about someone the girl you want to date is dating or friends with

--Never tell a girl what is or isn't good for her / Don't tell her what to do

--Never get attached to someone who isn't yours

--Never try to be a Superhero (you're not) / Captain Save-a-ho doesn't get laid (unless you're rich)

[Beldaran]

lol nice. Everything he did makes the list. :)

The "Captain Save-a-ho" bit cracked me up. Well played.

[Anthus]

I've been in a similar situation, and it would be best to move on. Girls like this are a dime a dozen, and will only end up hurting you.

[SUCCESSOR]

lol nice. Everything he did makes the list. :)

The "Captain Save-a-ho" bit cracked me up. Well played.

There's plenty more I only mentioned the ones he admitted to doing.

And don't feel bad, Cyclone, the best way to learn what you shouldn't do is to doing the wrong things at least once(or in my case many, many times). You'll never be able to convince a girl you're right for her. If you have to try to convince her then she isn't right for you. Next time you meet a girl you like who has a shitty boyfriend tell her to let you know when she's single; You've got plenty of friends.

[Dechipher]

There's plenty more I only mentioned the ones he admitted to doing.

And don't feel bad, Cyclone, the best way to learn what you shouldn't do is to doing the wrong things at least once(or in my case many, many times). You'll never be able to convince a girl you're right for her. If you have to try to convince her then she isn't right for you. Next time you meet a girl you like who has a shitty boyfriend tell her to let you know when she's single; You've got plenty of friends.

You forgot the most important:

Never take dating advice from people at a video game website :)