does it really take a village...?

[Mercy]

In the past month I have caught my neighbors' teenage (14-15) son sneaking once in and twice out of his bedroom window. The neighbors are nice folks and their kids are all well mannered. The first time I caught the boy sneaking out at around 14.00 and thought little of it other than it was odd. Who sneaks out of their house during the day? The last two times he has been sneaking in, once at 2.00 and tonight at 22.00. Should I say something to the parents or keep it to myself?

-m.

[jerome]

Tricky situation.

Worst case scenario: If you say nothing and something happens to him, there's guilt forever.
If you say something, the parents could respond either "Thanks, I'll keep a closer eye on him." or "Mind your own business and don't tell me how to raise my *bleep* kid!"

I happen to have a friend of mine that his parents would probably have appreciated more people looking out for him as he had a tendency to get himself in to trouble. I'd say go for it.

[Beldaran]

You could anonymously write a short note and drop it in their mailbox, or mail it with no return address etc.

[Anthus]

Honestly, I would not get involved. It's not your kid, or any of your business. That's just me though.

However, it is kind of a moral sticky spot. I guess it really depends on the nature of what he is doing, which remains a mystery. It's probably pretty harmless (relative to a 15 year old) but maybe it would not hurt to keep an eye out.

[gdorf]

I would tell them. I wouldn't make a big deal about it -- I would just walk over and casually mention it. There are enough bratty children being raised right now I am happy to empower parents to raise their kids properly.

[AtmaWeapon]

I'd say you have no ethical obligation to get involved, but it may make sense from a utilitarian standpoint.

There's no way the child's doing anything good if he's exiting by the window that late. The 14:00 instance seems like it could have been a lark; occasionally I left via my window just because I could. The 22:00 and 02:00 instances are more concerning. If he's getting into trouble, he might start bringing it home. That could cause you trouble. Another angle: if he's doing something that could be damaging, it will eventually blow up and cause a lot of pain for the family. I feel like they deserve to know. I'd want my neighbor to tell me, and if I knew what my kid was doing and it was legit I'd tell him to use the front door instead of the window.

A knock on the door might be fine. If you want to go the anonymous route, a letter with no return address is probably sufficient.

Comedy option: next time he sneaks out late, wait 5 minutes and call the house. Ask if they know where he is. In today's age of caller ID this isn't exactly anonymous, but it'd definitely work. Alternatively: get some kind of epoxy and glue his window stuck. I bet he's not carrying any keys when he leaves.