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View Full Version : My Grandmother Died Today



Russ
03-24-2009, 05:36 PM
The title says it all. My grandmother died this morning, about 9:00 Pacific time.

In a way, it was almost perfect timing. She lived with one of my three aunts. Another one of the aunts had visited her two weeks ago, my family went to see her last week, and my other aunt was with he today when she died. So in the two week period before she died, she was able to see all of her children and most of her grandchildren.

For a long time, she's had Alzheimer's. The last time I went down to see her, she was doing really poorly. She was confined to a wheelchair, and literally rotting away before us. She would hardly eat anything at all. And on top of that, her memory was so bad that she could hardly talk, and on most days she wouldn't talk at all. Yes despite all that, she still recognized everybody. The last time I saw her, when I walked into the room, she looked at me and smiled, the same smile that she used to have when I was young and went over to her house. It was so sad to see her like that. She was so frustrated because she couldn't think of the words to say to me. She could just smile and whisper out "Hello."

In a way, I think she knew she was dying, and was trying to hold out until she could see everybody again. This morning, she seemed to do really well, seeming very alert and responsive. She even went to a lot of trouble to try and eat. Then she started having trouble breathing, and, well...

In a way, it's almost happy. She's in a better place now, done with Alzheimer's. But still, it's so sad, I can hardly bear it.

We're flying down to her funeral soon. I'm not sure when, but I won't be online during then.

ShadowTiger
03-24-2009, 06:00 PM
I'm so sorry, Russ; I'm glad that it wasn't a terrible death. Those are the true tragedies.

mrz84
03-24-2009, 06:46 PM
I know the pain of losing a loved one all too well, my own grandmother passed away several years ago. You have my condolences.

erm2003
03-24-2009, 07:04 PM
Russ, I am sorry to hear about your loss. I had a grandmother with Alzheimer's as well. She was pretty much in a vegetative state in the last several years of her life. It's sad to see them go, but at least their suffering has ended.

The_Amaster
03-24-2009, 07:12 PM
Sorry to hear about this Russ. It's always hard when a loved one passes away.

rock_nog
03-24-2009, 09:35 PM
My condolences, man. But at least you can take comfort in the fact that she's no longer suffering. Not that it makes it any easier to take, but it's something.

jerome
03-24-2009, 09:52 PM
I had a great-grandmother that had the same thing. It took her around 10 years ago. There's a lot more to it than most people think or know. Heck man, I don't even know a lot of what she went through. Memory is just part of it from what I was told. When my great-grandmother passed away from some years ago, there were more people happy than distraught. It was still a sad thing, but the fight was over for her and that's why most were more happy than sad. Just this past December I lost my other great-grandmother as well. She had just turned 90 in June. Her passing was just her health having gone down hill for the past few years. With her being diabetic, one of her last things she asked for was chocolate. Everyone thought she was going to say something like "thank you all for coming, I..." But instead, she just said chocolate. So they gave her some. She didn't take much anywaysan but it made her happy though.

I hope you do alright man. It's not comforting to know this next part, nor is it fun to tell it in any way, but it is a part of life. How we deal with it is what makes us who we are. Good luck with your travelling, and may you find ways of remembering the better times than the lesser ones.

Russ
03-24-2009, 11:54 PM
Thanks guys. It really means a lot to me.

Din
03-25-2009, 09:33 AM
I'm sorry too, Russ. You know, J. K. Rowling once stated, that "Death is like crossing the ocean." She's right, but although you say goodbye, it won't be forever. I hope you'll feel better. I'm sorry to hear about her.

Moo2wo
03-25-2009, 11:24 AM
Sorry. My great grandmother passed away last October. It was horrible. Even worse, we got the news on our way out the door to visit her.

Prrkitty
03-25-2009, 02:41 PM
I'm sorry honey... and wish there was more that we all could do to help you thru this. I promise time eases the pain (or more to the point the pain dulls a little over the years).

Be sure to remember the good times and keep the happy memories active. Find a good picture of you and her and have it somewhere that you can see it whenever you need to remember what she looks like... or just remember.

*hug* hang in there sweetheart...

Pryme8
03-26-2009, 07:52 AM
I really was avoiding clicking on this link, but then I saw the author...

man that sucks Russ, I hope it does not affect your family too bad.

Best of wishes from my direction, keep your head up like you said it may have been for the best... as bad as that sounds.

Aegix Drakan
03-26-2009, 04:58 PM
...oof...My sympathies Russ. I know how it feels too.

It's always hard to see someone pass on, but at least your grandmother was able to see everyone again.

Hold on, man. The pain will eventually fade away, leaving behind only the good memories.