Ask a person for their preferred gift?

[ShadowTiger]

I'm reading these SomethingAwful.com "Worst Christmas Gifts" (http://www.somethingawful.com/d/comedy-goldmine/worst-christmas-presents.php?page=1) list, thinking to myself, "What's the best way to go about giftgiving?" (Reading these is causing an actual pain in my stomach to blossom forth into existence.)

So do you think it's better to surprise a person, (Keyword: Surprise.) or to ask what a person wants, remove any and all element of surprise, (Good surprise, at least.) and replace that feeling of surprise with a feeling of hope, which can be dashed against the pavement in the event of failure?

[moocow]

All of the people who would be buying me gifts, generally knows what I like... I hate being asked what I want, because I don't really want things as much as I need things, and the needs are kind of expensive... I just like to be surprised.

[Archibaldo]

I think it's better to just get them whta you think they would want. That way, it shows that they thought about what you would like and didn't just ask you what you want. If you're going to ask what the person wants, you may as well just get them money. Which is a bad idea because it shows you don't know the person well enough. It's almost turning the act of generosity into an obligation. Like "I have to get you something, but I don't know you very well so I'll give you money."

[Zank_Tripper]

I like people to ask me. I have had many experiences receiving lousy gifts, not to mention I always have a list of several things I would like to buy. Gift cards are also a nice alternative.

[Icey]

Really, the only gift giving or receiving I do is in my rather large family, and I like the way we do it. We do a kris kringle ("secret santa") thing where everyone draws a name and just buys gifts for that person. Everyone makes a list with multiple items on it that they would like.

I have gotten "suprise" gifts before. These were either never used, disposed of, or sold... so, if you don't want to ask someone what they want, get them a nice card and a nice gift card to go with it. Way better than buying something you *think* they might like.

Although, I can see how some people would prefer a suprise. For me, though, since I don't own a lot of stuff and don't want a lot of stuff, it's hard for me to even come up with two items on a list every year that I might be happy with! And if I can only think of one or two things I might enjoy, it's not likely you'll randomly get me one of them without asking...


I think it's better to just get them whta you think they would want. That way, it shows that they thought about what you would like and didn't just ask you what you want. If you're going to ask what the person wants, you may as well just get them money. Which is a bad idea because it shows you don't know the person well enough. It's almost turning the act of generosity into an obligation. Like "I have to get you something, but I don't know you very well so I'll give you money."

For the reasons above, I would totally disagree. Hell, I almost always prefer a gift card (or would prefer money). I might not even use that gift card/cash for several months, but that's the point... I don't want a lot of stuff, and I especially don't want stuff someone else hoped I would like.

In fact, if someone bought me a gift to suprise me, it would show that they in fact don't know me at all. If they gave me a gift card to best buy, they either made a good guess or knew me well.

This is where "it depends" comes in. Maybe it's better not to ask "what do you want?" but to ask "would you like your gift to be a suprise, or would you like to give me some suggestions for a gift?".

[Russ]

I'd like people to ask me what I want for a gift. No surprises, just give me whatever I want! :)

[Pineconn]

It really depends. If you are buying a gift for someone who you don't know very well, like a new [boy/girl]friend or in-law, you should ask or at least get hints to a preferred gift. Now, you really should surprise a parent, sibling, or child since you would already know their interests and hobbies. Of course, there should be no shame if you feel the need to ask a relative, either. This might show that you truly want to get them a good gift.

[Archibaldo]

The whole point of getting some one a gift is to show you care. If you just get them money, like I said earlier, it's like you didn't even bother to shop for them and just took the easy way out. It's not the gift, its the gesture. If some one surprises you with something you really like, ins't that better than just getting money? Money shows that they know nothing about you.